I spent an idle afternoon with Caitlin around the estate. We had no desire to run off to the woods or hideaway as we once did. We seemed more content in the company of adults and inhabiting their world rather than needing to be far away. Our minds were so full of private thoughts and secrets that we would simply whisper them to one another, much to the annoyance of Ava, but again I would watch as Caitlin took great pleasure in winding her mother up.
I also noted how Ava watched us with great interest and intent. Had she always done that? When we were two little girls who wanted to run off into the forest and never be found, had I just been that little bit too young to notice, or was it something she had only started doing recently? I would often look up when Caitlin and I were deep in conversation and catch Ava staring at us, a look of sadness etched across her face. Did our friendship still disappoint her after all this time?
When Chuck and some of her cousins arrived two days later, Caitlin was all geared up and ready to assign roles and lines for people to learn. She had printed out a shortened-down version of the script on Maxwell’s printer in his study. The play would fast forward to all the exciting bits and ‘cut out all the dull, boring bits’, as Caitlin put it. She had somehow managed to convince Ava that she could borrow her ivory vintage wedding gown for use during the performance. I think Ava was secretly pleased she could get the gown out and show it off after many years of it being stored in the attic. Caitlin was under strict instructions that it must only be worn during the performance and taken straight off and put away afterwards.
Chuck and I found ourselves alone in the drawing room not long after he had arrived. I had expected to see that he had grown an inch or two, but he had filled out a lot too. He had always been quite skinny, and I wasn’t prepared for quite how much his hair had thickened, his jaw had squared out and his voice had dropped to a much deeper level.
‘How has the year been treating you so far, Sash?’ Chuck had taken to shortening my name at the end of last year. He was wearing a blue blazer and jeans with a blue-and-white striped shirt underneath. It was a typical Chuck outfit: smart and casual, all wrapped in one. He leant against the side of the sofa as he spoke to me.
‘Really good, thank you.’ I could feel the heat rising through my body, my voice was high and my throat dry. ‘How about you? How was your New Year?’
‘Fabulous. Canada is an absolute riot. You know you should come out one year, if your parents let you. You’re almost sixteen, right?’
‘I’ve just turned fourteen and you know it, Chuck!’ I turned away, embarrassed.
‘Oh yes.’ Chuck looked down at where Pippy and Purdy had run in wagging their tails. He bent down to fuss the dogs, and I felt it was a relief for both of us from a moment that had suddenly become charged with a kind of energy I hadn’t experienced before.
Josephine came in, disrupting any uncomfortableness with her usual flourish.
‘Oh, hello, you two. You should be off rehearsing your parts for this play, surely? Can’t let Caitlin down,’ Josephine said, laughing as she clicked her tongue and the dogs followed her out of the drawing room and towards the back door.
‘It’s a lovely day,’ I said, looking towards where Josephine had gone.
‘Yes, we should be out in it, shouldn’t we?’
We looked awkwardly at one another for a few moments, and it was one of the rare times that I had seen Chuck lost for words. Eventually he spoke.
‘Gosh, you really did get pretty, Sasha,’ he said, and I felt my stomach flip over a few times. I smiled softly and managed to hold his gaze for a few seconds before I felt the familiar burn of my cheeks.
‘You got yours?’ I lifted the script that had been pressed firmly into my hand earlier under the strict instructions to learn my lines properly.
‘Oh, um, yes.’ Chuck pushed himself away from the sofa and held up his script, which he had pulled from his back pocket. ‘Some excellent bedtime reading right here. I thought I was coming for a nice relaxing break, but—’
‘But instead you get to do something far more cultural!’ Caitlin swept into the room; she had changed into a vibrant purple skirt, which floated around as she walked.
‘And Sasha is going to be our bridesmaid.’ She leant into Chuck and he put an arm around her shoulder. I looked down at my feet.
‘Ahh, I see. I didn’t know there was a bridesmaid in Much Ado about Nothing?’ Chuck sounded as though he were mocking Caitlin.
‘There is in this version,’ Caitlin snapped and pulled herself away from Chuck. ‘And it’s going to be simply wonderful.’ Caitlin spun around.
Chuck and I looked at each other for a few seconds, before Caitlin dragged him by the arm and pulled him from the room, the conversation between us truly over. The look between Chuck and I could have said a multitude of things, but in my mind I felt as though for the first time ever I was truly being seen.
The next few days of the holidays were spent reading the script, and I was glad to see I didn’t have too many speaking lines. I highlighted my parts and made sure I knew the lines of the person who was speaking just before me, which I would use as a prompt. Caitlin was suitably impressed with me during rehearsals and praised me constantly throughout.
‘Quite a studious little mouse, aren’t we?’ she said to me in private on the third day, when everyone
