Nick took my hand in his. Nick was really learning to understand me. Yet I pulled my hand away him as a shock jolted through me. Nick made me so stressed out and confused, making my world spin in circles at high speeds. Nick's face fell as his shoulders slumped, but I could have sworn that I saw Mark's smirk get bigger. I really wish that I didn't have such a pride problem so that I could let Nick console me. Then I could hide behind him from Mark and his watch. However I had to be a big pain in the butt and do everything that could not help the situation. I could not just open up to someone and actually let someone be there for me. Nick told me loved me and I had to push him away.
We were steered more into the house with the music which I thought was making walls literally pulsing along with the music it was so deafening. Mark came back with two more cups of beer. I didn't even notice that he left us. Nick took one with his right hand and took a gulp. Mark held out a cup for me.
"Milady," Mark spoke. As his dark eyes glistened in the cheap lights they were glued to mine.
"Mark, Rach doesn't drink," Nick butted in as he waved his free hand.
"Thank you," I answered, reaching around Nick's hand to take the cup.
I took the cup before I tilted my head back for a bigger gulp than I should have taken. The cold beer seemed to be whispering to me to drink more to join the rest of my peers, to finally be one of them. The amber liquid tasted horrible and yet it felt like freedom, or was it entrapment? My insides felt horrible and I blinked a few extra times as the juices felt heavy in my stomach. Nick gaped at me while Mark appeared happier than he did a moment ago. So I was giving beer a try to drown my troubles. Something I had never wanted to do. The little voice in my head was trying to get to my main controls in my brain to stop that this was wrong, that I shouldn't be doing this, but the little voice was being pushed back.
"Rachel, isn't Nick a bunch of fun with his trouble making ways and what not?" Mark asked, yelled leaning over me so that he could be closer to my ear drenching that side of my body in beer breath.
"If you say he is, Mark," I spoke over the music, still not sure if he could hear me, but I tried anyway.
I wasn't always known for being loud.
"So Nick why do you seem so...what's the word…different?" Mark questioned inclining over to Nick who was still standing straight all the while his face wrinkled up.
Mark sounded disgusted. To me Nick didn't seem different, but again I didn't really see him outside of school. He seemed to be the same guy that I have always known, but I have heard what Nick was like around his better friends. And boy what a variation between the two Nicks, well that was if the rumors are true.
Mark danced away, but this other guy with a girl holding his hand came over and she looked as comfortable as me. He saw Nick and smiled.
"John, hey!" The guy beamed, reaching out and giving Nick that weird half hug hand shake guys do.
"Hey Nick! Yet another Mark party where we have to keep an eye out for Dill and Mark so they don't kill themselves," John chuckled dryly.
"Yeah I know." Nick rolled his eyes. "But we'll have fun with that John, we always do. John, this is Rachel, or do I say my wife?"
I felt an anxiety chill tremble down my spine. My chest tightened. In a poor attempt to calm down, I took another sip of beer. The tightening feeling did not loosen. Drown the fears, drown them all...
"Yeah, I know this is odd still," John responded with a raised brow before he looked over at me. "Hi, Rachel and this is Cathy."
"Hi," Cathy and I said together she glanced at the cup in my hand momentarily.
My cheeks heated up. This was not me…
"So, John do you know how Mark got the drinks in?" Nick inquired.
"You remember his older cousin and his 'connections'? Well the brother drives and still goes to the high school. So after school Mark and a few other guys put the drinks into their book bags. Like there would be books in Mark's book bag."
The two guys laugh while Cathy and I just smiled awkwardly at each other before glimpsing back at our guys. The two of them left so I told Nick that I was going to get another drink, he didn't seem in high spirits about that. When I was over there I got my drink and went back to Nick. That was when I saw Amanda coming towards us with a couple of her female friends.
"I'll-"
"Rachel you're not leaving me alone with them," Nick snapped, interrupting me and pulling my arm so that I was closer to him.
I stared into his bright blue eyes and for some reason I saw fear. What was Nick afraid of? Or was the beer already clouding my mind into thinking Nick was afraid? Come on Rachel, now why would Nick
