Nick must have known that I wasn't well so we started up again back to the house. He tried to put an arm around me to reassure me, but I just tensed up so much he took his arm away. I glimpsed at Nick in the corner of my eye and I could see how upset he was. I glanced at his hands that were now covered with blood and most of it or probably all of it was Mark's. I shuddered, I was afraid to see how much blood was on Nick because of me.
I got ready for bed in a blurry haze, only to end up curled up on the couch. It did not take long for my eyes to drift shut. Nick had been sitting on a chair at our table watching me carefully, but before I fell asleep I said something to Nick, and whether he heard it or not I wasn't sure.
"Nick, I'm so sorry."
16
Nick
I had helped Rachel during the night when she got sick by holding her hair and getting her water so she wouldn't dehydrate, and rubbing her back. She finally fell back to sleep on the couch and I sat on the chair at the table again. When I knew Rachel was fully asleep I went for a little walk in the gated area so I could clear my head from the night before. I tried to walk on the side that didn't face the street because I could see some camera lights and I did not have the strength to deal with them. The fact that the social experiment had a blow-out party with alcohol hopefully would help our case. Before I knew it I was in front of Mark's home staring at the beer cans all over his yard and the houses around his. I grabbed a few that hadn't been opened and walked back home, flicking specks of dirt and ice off the cans. After what he did to Rachel, he owed us so much, the beers were nothing.
At home I drank one of the beers because I couldn't handle nor believe what had happened to Rachel, my Rachel. I shouldn't have let her out of my sight like that. What was I thinking? I knew what went on at Mark's parties. I should have stopped her from drinking the amount she drank or any amount at all. I couldn’t get over what happened to my sweet Rachel. Mark had been my friend for years and this was what he did? Why did I have to bring her to the party? Why had I told her I loved her, knowing how she would react? She felt the same way. I knew that even if she wouldn't say I knew she did. All the signs were there, I didn't think she would react like she had. I could've told her at a different time.
"Why the hell does my head feel like someone was hitting it with a hammer all night?" Rachel cried out while stretching a bit to pull her blanket over her head on the couch, she was a little mound under that blanket.
She rolled onto her back and covered her eyes with her hands after she pushed her hair back. Rachel must be still feeling ill.
"It's too bright."
She turned back onto her side, pulling the blanket over her head then curled up into a ball.
"Rachel, I'd like to introduce you to a hangover," I spoke, trying to watch my volume.
"Not so loud please."
She balled the blanket by her ears in a poor attempt to block the noise. I got her some aspirin and a glass of water. She sat up using her arms to get her up. Rachel drank my remedy quickly and lay back down on the couch.
"Why do you smell like beer, Nick?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow at me even though her head was down on the couch.
I had to change the subject before she freaked out more than she was about to. After what happened last night, the last thing she'd want to deal with is another guy who was drinking.
"How are you feeling?" I continued, sitting down by her feet, wishing I could stroke her back to help her relax.
"How do I feel, how do I feel? I feel like I'm going to freaking die. I'm never going to drink again."
I wanted to laugh, but held it as my small smile slipped.
"Do you remember anything that happened last night?" I fished quietly, my eyes on the floor.
"No why? Oh my God something happened…between…us…"
Rachel sat up slowly, to prevent her head from spinning more than it already was I was sure, as she chewed on her lip. Did the thought of us really make her that nervous?
"No, nothing happened between us."
"Okay good." She let out a sigh as her eyes fell to the seat of the couch.
"Mark just tried to force himself on you…" I said calmly, feeling my jaw tighten, trying not to scare her all the while wanting to kill him, my hands clenched on my knees.
"Oh my God I remember now." Her eyes were wide making my heart start to race at those green eyes appearing so hurt.
"It's alright, Rachel. It'll be okay."
I sat closer to Rachel and brought her close to me, holding her in a tight embrace. Rachel tensed up again so I let go of her slowly and noticed she wasn't looking at me. I felt down again, but I knew she was probably just remembering the attack better with every touch. I really wanted to be there for her, but wasn't sure how to do so.
"I understand, Rachel, it's okay."
We were going to have to start over again with the trust and everything. I got up and felt Rachel's hand grab for mine. Her hand was loosely holding mine, it was barely even there.
"Nick I have something to
