The absence of Caroline, Juliet, and Jameswill leave a gaping hole in my life. But it gives me solace knowing that Janeyand Michael will be there for me. And George – possibly? There is no denying wehave known each other for a very long time now and he knows me perhaps evenbetter than I know myself.
George too just let me cry it out. LikeJaney he didn’t utter a word. I imagine he was more than relieved that I had (finally)figured it all out. And, he had the decency not to point this out to me.
Like a weary soldier, I heave my carcassup and out of the car when we arrive back at his house. Even though I am allconsumed with my emotions, I can’t help but notice that George seems somewhatdistracted.
We have been in thedoor a matter of a couple of minutes, and he is like a cat on a hot tin roof. Icollapse, absolutely spent, onto the sofa and Janey slumps down next to me.George disappears for a few minutes then reappears in the living room notlooking like himself at all.
“Thomas, I have located your birthcertificate.” Of course! I’d forgotten all about that with all the drama overmy siblings. “I have left it on the desk in the office.”
“OK thanks.” I manage. He bows his headand shuffles off Lord knows where. I remain seated. The anticipation it appearsis all too much for Janey.
“Well, aren’t you just a little bitcurious? Go and take a look!”
It is true. I had been more than a littlebit curious following the visit to mother but finding out about my siblings hadliterally knocked the stuffing right out of me.
“OK, you are right, sweetheart, I’ll gotake a look.” With heavy hands and a heavy heart, I heave myself off the sofaand head in the direction of the office.
On entering, I move into position to sitat the desk. Surely there can’t be any more surprises? Without scanning itwhatsoever, I decide to read it in its entirety from top to bottom.
Istart by raising it to eye level. As I slowly, cautiously, scroll down, Inotice nothing out of the ordinary. None the less, my palms have startedsweating and my pulse has quickened. Deep breaths, Thomas. All looks in order.Until, that is, I read ‘Father’s Name’ – ‘Traynor, George.’ Time stands stillas the revelatory document flutters its merry little way to the ground.
CHAPTER 26
I
thought the tidal wave of emotions I had experienced sinceI set out on this journey had reached their climax. How wrong could I be! Thissets my mind spinning in a whole new direction. Yet again life as I know it hasturned upside down and inside out. George – my father? Not George thecounsellor, George, my father!
On so many levels nowit all makes sense. It didn’t quite add up in my head the story he’d spun aboutbringing me here. What was it? Something about my case bothering him as it wasthe one case in his career he had never brought to a satisfactory conclusion –there were ‘loose ends.’ He talked about how I had never faced up to the truthand needed to come back to confront it all. A part of me had questioned thislame reasoning from the start but his persistency combined with the guilt Ifelt over never going to see mother were what led me to start this journey. Heneeded to reach out to me – I am after all his son! All his talk of ‘thinkingof me like a son.’ I am his son!
This raises so many questions. Exactly howlong has George known about this? How long has he held my birth certificate inhis possession? Please God tell me he has only found out about this recently.If he knew when I was younger, he could have removed mother and I from father’storturous grasp. There I go, referring to Bert as father. He is not ‘father,’he is Bert. He is nothing to me. What I endured at his hands and he’s not evenmy father! The red-hot fury explodes in my head and throughout my body, firingme into action. That bastard! What he put us through and all the while he wasnothing to me!
I leap off my seat, ready to storm out,but I am stopped in my tracks. A very sheepish-looking George peers around thedoor of the office. Neither one of us knows how to act. There are so manyquestions buzzing around in my head, but he needs to explain himself first. Igrit my teeth and clench my fists in an attempt to stem the torrent ofquestions I’m ready to fire in his direction. It works and I manage a simple“Well?”
“Let’s take a seat.”
“I’d rather stand if it’s all the samewith you.” My body is so fired up, sitting down at the moment seemsinconceivable.
“First of all,Thomas, I need you to know that I only recently found out.” Some of thetightness in my chest loosens its grip. “When I saw the birth certificate, itwas only shortly afterwards that I contacted you. I am as bowled over by thisas you are. I truly had no idea.”
“You’d better take me back to the start,George! I need to know what happened!”
“Of course you do. The truth is I lovedyour mother deeply, Thomas. We knew each other as far back as our school days.It all started after a chance encounter at a mutual friend’s wedding. We bothknew there was something there, but she was with Bert at the time.Nevertheless, we exchanged numbers discreetly. Over time we met up and becameinseparable. We knew it
