“On one such visit, she was locked intoher little world so I thought it might help to show her some old photographs.She had a shoebox under her bed filled with photographs, so I started leafingthrough them, showing her them one by one. I talked and talked, trying to be asengaging as possible, but I got no response so left to my own devices, Istarted delving further into the box. There were a few old letters, but I keptdigging until I reached the bottom of the box where I found an official-lookingdocument. My instinct was to just replace the photographs and put the box backunder the bed. It felt like snooping and I wasn’t comfortable with it. As Istarted replacing a couple of the photographs, it caused the document todislodge, revealing its title – ‘birth certificate.’
“It could have been Mary’s birthcertificate. But I knew there was a chance that it was yours and I had to findout. When I saw my name printed there, I couldn’t believe it. And sadly, Icouldn’t share the moment with your mother for, at the time, she was lost in somedistant world. I am not ashamed to say I wept. I wept and wept for all theyears we lost that we could have shared together. But I also wept joyous tears,I was elated. The news I had so wanted to hear was finally affirmed. And then,I wept tears of sadness for what might’ve been between your mother and I. Shehad known all along I was the father, she had me named on your birthcertificate after all. If only she had taken a leap of faith and tried to leaveBert, things might’ve been very different … for all of us.
“When did I find out this information?Only recently I assure you, just shortly before I made contact with you. Imust, however, apologise for turning up in the middle of the night like that.You looked at me like you had seen a ghost and I am not surprised. I wasn’tthinking straight. I had to see you and, frankly, I was not in the right frameof mind. It was foolish and I can see how it could’ve alarmed you, so Iapologise sincerely for that.”
I take a seat once more at the desk,letting it all sink in. I wanted to be angry at mother because she could havechanged our lives for the better, but how could I be? Bert had utterlydominated her; she saw no way out. She had been well and truly trapped. And nowshe is battling a serious brain disease. All I feel is a mixture of love andpity. She really had been dealt a dreadful hand of cards in the game of life.
I lock eyes with my ‘new father.’ “Onething is puzzling me, George.” He raises his eyebrows in anticipation. “It’sthe birth certificate. You claim to have only found out about it and that, whenyou did, you immediately contacted me?” He nods in agreement. “But it wasn’tyou who brought it to my attention, was it? It was mother. Exactly when wereyou going to enlighten me?”
“Yes, I can see why that might concernyou, Thomas, but truly, you have to believe that I was going to tell you. Itwas always my plan. I was so shocked when Mary said what she did to you. It hasgiven me such hope. Her dementia has already done so much damage, but she clearlyhasn’t fully succumbed to it, not yet. It certainly wasn’t how I planned on youfinding out, but in a strange way I am delighted. I am sure it will have givenyour mother great joy to be the one to finally tell you the truth, to point youin the right direction. A special gift from her to you.
“It was so important for you to come backto find out the truth about your mental state. But equally important was youfinding out about your parentage. I didn’t want to hit you with everything allat once so I thought you finding out about me could wait until you hadprocessed the fact that your ‘siblings’ didn’t exist. I know this is huge. Itis so much for you to take in and it is a blessing indeed that Janey has come.You two have a fabulously strong relationship and I know she is absolutelythere for you. She will be next door waiting on tenterhooks for you to let herknow what the birth certificate says. And Thomas, please know that I too am100% here for you. I know it will take a long time for you to wrap your headaround all this, but I mean what I say, please know that. It would be wonderfulif we could build a relationship but no rush, we can take things nice andslowly.”
Heis right. Baby steps is what is called for. I imagine that if were watchingthis on a movie, the son would fling his arms around his newfound father. Butthis wasn’t the movies, and I wasn’t yet ready for such an outpouring ofemotion. I could already feel a sense of curiosity about what the future wouldhold. My life had taken a new trajectory and what did this mean for me and myfamily? Yes, there was a definite sense of curiosity but equally, we weren’t atthe happily ever after stage either! I found myself in unchartered waters. Iwas floundering and wasn’t entirely sure how to feel or act. Two thingsimmediately came to mind. I had to let my wife know who her real father-in-lawwas and, secondly, I needed to pay a certain someone a long overdue visit.
CHAPTER 27
I
make my excuses – about needing to talk things throughwith Janey – and leave George standing in the office. Janey, as I hadsuspected, wasn’t far away. She was eager to know what I had found out, but Idiscovered that I wasn’t quite ready to divulge anything just yet. I hadsomething I needed to do first and it had to be alone. I simply shook my headat her to indicate that the birth certificate hadn’t yielded anything ofinterest and made up a story
