“It was your mother who ended our affair.She was terrified of your father. Err sorry, Bert. Truth be told, I was too. Itwas probably a blessing things ended when they did because I dread to thinkwhat would’ve happened to Mary if he had found out. She didn’t love him. Shestayed because she was too frightened to leave him. Frightened of what he woulddo to her and to me if he found out. In all honesty though, I think he knewabout us. Bert’s fury and outbursts only escalated and intensified with time.Culminating of course in your hospital admission. But I never stopped lovingher, never stopped thinking about her. It is the sole reason why I have neverlooked at another woman since.”
“Ok, ok, but what about when she waspregnant with me? Surely you must’ve suspected that I could be yours?”
“That is true, Thomas, I can’t deny it, Idid wonder. However, I didn’t know she was pregnant, not at first. All contacthad been severed and Bert was very controlling by this stage. Gone were thedays when your mother would even get the chance to attend a social event of anykind. I heard on the grapevine that he was drinking excessively and that no onehad seen hide nor hair of Mary. I was desperately worried about her butequally, I didn’t want to jeopardise her safety any further by intervening. Itruthfully didn’t know what to do for the best.
“Life moved on in the inevitable way itdoes. Days and weeks then months merged into one another. I had no idea of yourexistence. That was until one day I bumped into her at the Post Office, buggyin tow. She saw the look of shock in my face and immediately shook her head. Ifthere was any chance you were mine, there was no way she was going to entertainthe possibility. I tried to offer help and support as a friend, nothing more,but she wouldn’t hear of it. She was utterly terrified of Bert’s wrath andtherefore, needed to keep me at arm’s length.
“Believe me, Thomas, there wasn’t a daywhich went by when I didn’t think about the two of you. I have kept as close aneye on you as was feasibly possible. However, I had to keep reminding myselfthat it was equally possible Bert could be your father.
“I finally got the opportunity to go toyour side when you ended up being admitted to hospital. When I got the call tocome to have a chat with you in a professional capacity, there was no way Icould turn it down. My heart shattered when I saw how broken you were. Bert hadabused you terribly, both physically and mentally. The wounds and bruises wouldheal up, but I feared the mental damage would leave its permanent mark. I dideverything in my power to get you out of that house. I know what that would’vedone to your mother, but I couldn’t see you suffer at his hands any longer. Iknew Mary would never leave him but at least I could do something positive tohelp you.
“You thrived afterthat. We have your foster parents to thank for that. They helped you see what abright future lay ahead. You secured a place at Edinburgh University where youmet Janey and the two of you went on to build a life together. It gave mesolace and reassured me that I had done the right thing. I was unsure if yourmother would ever forgive me for playing my part in having you placed in fostercare, but I had to hope that she saw I was acting in your best interests.”
“George, I need to stop you there. So, atthis point, you had no idea that I was your son, correct?”
“That’s right.”
“OK, but you profess to loving my mother,yet you were instrumental in re-homing me and your relationship with mothernever became romantic again? So, she was bereft, childless, and back in Bert’smerciless hands!?”
“Thomas, when you putit like that, it makes it sound callous. There was no black and white, no rightand wrong. It was a very difficult situation. I had the opportunity to dosomething right by you, to play a part in helping you have a brighter futureand I grabbed that with both hands. I had no idea whether you were my son ornot at this time and Mary was unwilling to entertain the possibility. Bert hadsystematically worn her down over the years until there was nothing left. Myname was mud in that household, and I had to steer well clear. Whether he knewyour mother and I had been involved, I remain uncertain, but he certainly knewI had recommended that you be transferred into foster care. Perhaps he hasmellowed somewhat over the years but at the time let’s just say he wasn’t mynumber one fan!”
“Please, can we get to how and when youfound out I was your son, how you came to be in possession of my birthcertificate.”
“Yes, of course. Idon’t know if you recall but when we visited Mary, she looked over in mydirection and gave me a beaming smile.” I nod my head and shrug my shoulders atthe same time, gesturing for him to continue. “Well, that was no coincidence.She was smiling at me because she recognised me too. When she was placed in thecare home, for the first time in years I was able to have regular contact withher again. There was no longer any threat of Bert intervening. He washed hishands of her the minute she was admitted.
“I visited her atleast once a week and I have kept that up over the years. It was wonderful tosee her face light up when she saw you. Those precious moments of recognitionare few and far between now as her illness has progressed. I talk to her a lotabout the past, about times we have shared, about you and how well you aredoing. It is all in an attempt to rouse her into the present, to get
