We both unpack, and when Blake ducks into the bathroom, I get changed into my suit super quick. The optional afternoon kayak trip is just around the corner, and Matt will definitely be there. I’ve barely had time to pull a shirt on when the door opens and Blake emerges in a white tank top and shorts, a yellow dishwashing glove in her hand.
I straighten up, raising my eyebrows at her. “What the hell is that for?”
She nods at the tattoo on my forearm, shrugging as she holds up a roll of waterproof tape. “Gotta put this on it to keep it safe.” There’s an amused twinkle in her eyes, that mischievous grin of hers pulling at the corners of her mouth. “You know how much bacteria is in a lake?”
I shove her shoulder, rolling my eyes. How dare she quote me back to me.
I take the glove from her and slide it on, struggling to get the tape around it.
“You need help with that?” she asks, stepping closer. Reflexively, I take a step back.
“No. Thanks. I, uh…” I head for the door, trying to put as much space between us as possible, racking my brain for an excuse. A believable lie. “I got it. I think I’m going to go meet… Kiera… before kayaking, so she can…”
My voice trails off and I hold up the glove, the entire thing flopping limply to the side as I slide out of our room like the most awkward person ever, the door clicking shut behind me.
I groan, rubbing my face. I’ve got to find Matt. And fast.
I head down the stairs and outside, past Aimee and Ashley Campbell. The pair intentionally turn their backs to me and make a huge show of whispering back and forth, in a pointed display that could only be about one thing and one thing only.
Sighing, I step out into the afternoon sun, its rays bright and warm as it shines on the winding path down to the lake, wooden signs leading the way through the trees.
I pass a few classmates as I walk, all of them giving me pointed looks while I try to focus on the sunlight filtering through the tree branches, the path just in front of me, Matt in a gray T-shirt and turquoise-blue swim shorts.
“Matt!” I call out, and he turns around to face me, Jake next to him. “Can you talk?”
He nods and smiles faintly at me, but there’s a small barrier still between us. A barrier I need to find a way to get over.
“I’ll just… go.…” Jake’s voice trails off, and he points behind him with his thumb, disappearing down the path and out of sight.
I take a deep breath, knowing I need to be honest with him. About what happened at junior prom. About this summer. About the list, preparing me for this moment. I can’t just skate past it and ignore. “Listen, I am so sorry. What I did was… really terrible.”
He swallows, his thick eyebrows furrowing, his eyes guarded.
“I think I just felt like things… didn’t feel right between us. And I think that was all on me. I didn’t feel right, and I did something really, really stupid.” I want to be on the same page. So for the first time in our entire relationship, I lay it all out on the table. “But this summer I found my mom’s bucket list from the summer before her senior year of high school, and it changed things.”
I see his face soften at the mention of my mom, and it keeps me talking.
“I’ve changed. Really changed, Matt. I spent the summer checking off all the items, and… I’m out of that little box I’ve been keeping myself in,” I say, repeating his words from that one fight we had. The thing at the core of all our problems. “And I know you haven’t seen me much, but I know you’ve noticed. I know you know I’m more like… well, like how I used to be. I’m on this lake trip. And, I mean, you caught me skinny-dipping at the Huckabee Pool. I think we both know that Emily from two months ago would have never done that.”
“Yeah, that was surprising, to say the least,” he admits, and I know I’m getting somewhere.
I take a step closer, looking up at him. “I know we’ve broken up before. I know you’ve given me a lot of chances in the past. But this time is different. I’m different.”
He takes a deep breath, looking away from me. “I don’t know, Em… I just…”
“Let me prove it to you,” I say quickly. “This weekend. Let’s just, I don’t know, hang out. Let me show you I’ve changed.”
He’s silent for a long moment, and I hold my breath, counting the seconds. Finally, I see him frown, and my insides turn to ice. “What’s with the dishwasher glove?”
Relief floods through me. I sheepishly hold up the glove in question. “I got a tattoo a few days ago, and I need to keep it covered for kayaking.” I hold out the tape to him, hope pushing me forward. “You want to help me with it?”
He nods, reaching out to take it from me. “What’d you get?”
I hold out my arm and he takes it, his fingers lightly holding my wrist.
“A sunflower,” he says. The corners of his mouth tick up into a smile as he gently pulls the glove over the tattoo and tapes it down. “Just like your mom’s garden.”
“Just like it,” I say, holding his gaze for a long moment.
He exhales and lets go of my arm, spinning the roll of waterproof tape around on his finger as he looks away. “I just… I don’t know. It was more than just that. I always felt
