"Does that happen often?" Rachel asked as she guided a startled Dani to a chair.
"No. I've worked very hard all my life to live in the present, and not in my head. Over the years I have learned how to control most of my memories, and when I can't, I'm usually able to ignore them. I typically only lose control when I'm highly stressed, physically weakened, or emotionally compromised. Right now we're three for three, and this one just completely took over." She uncorked the wine, and reached for a glass. "In the grand scheme of things, it could have been worse."
"What do you mean?" Dani asked.
Alex looked over at the kitchen table and saw Nikki had joined the group. "As embarrassing as this is, at least it was pleasant. Far better than being stuck in the memory provided by my father." She could tell Dani was trying to figure out what she wasn't saying, so she filled in the blanks. "You really don't want to deal with an hysterical four-year-old. Especially since that particular memory set lasts for days."
"Jesus."
She nodded as she sipped her wine. "How about we move back outside, and enjoy the pool?" She grabbed the bottle of wine and headed for the door.
Rachel quickly stood, stepped in front of Nikki and held the door for Alex. "We'll be out in just a minute."
Alex walked over to the table under the sun sail and carefully placed the wine in the shade. She pulled one of the reclining chairs under the sail, and dropped a towel on it before diving into the water. She surfaced and swam the length of the pool and back again before pulling herself onto the deck and grabbing her glass of wine. After taking a sip, she refilled the glass, and sat down. She felt her body begin to relax as she looked out over the olive groves nestled in the small valleys at the base of the mountain range. She wondered if she would be here for the harvest this year. Alex closed her eyes, and relaxed into the chair as she heard the door to the villa open. She listened as everyone found a chair and settled in. She knew that two had chosen her left, near the table, and the third had selected a spot behind her on the right.
"What are you thinking?" Rachel asked.
Alex opened her eyes, and looked to her left. She saw Dani beside the table, and Rachel between her and Dani. "I'm just trying to get my thoughts together, and figure out where to start."
"You know that Nikki refused to read the book, right?" Dani asked.
"Yes. We've already discussed it, and I believe she is mostly up to speed." She looked over at the surprisingly subdued Nikki, and saw her sitting quietly, watching them.
"Good. Then how about you start by telling us what wasn't in the book. What you brought us here to learn," Rachel said as she watched her closely.
"You make it sound so easy, Ray."
"It should be that easy, Alex. You're the one making it difficult."
She sighed and set her glass down on the ground beside the chair. "I know, and I'm trying to figure out how to stop."
"Stop thinking and start talking. Tell me why these things are so difficult for you to talk about."
"I'm afraid of what you will think of me once you know."
"Have you ever told anyone?"
"No. I've always been afraid to." She sat up in the chair, placing one foot on the ground as she stared out into the water. "I've seen how people judge others. It's human nature. I'm afraid that you will think differently of me." Her knee began to bounce nervously, and she picked at the towel on the end of the chair. "I'm afraid I will lose you all."
Rachel leaned forward in her chair and turned towards her. "You pushed us out of your life, and ran halfway around the world to get away. Yet here we are just one day after you called. We're here because we love you, and you needed us."
"What makes you think we will judge you?" Dani asked.
Alex reached down for her glass, needing to do something with her hands. "Growing up the way I did, without any real guidance or friendship, I missed out on some essential lessons I think. I never learned how to read people, and know when they were being honest with me or when they were just out to take what they could get." She took a sip of the deep red liquid as she stared off into the olive groves. "When I first joined the US National Team, I made a couple of friends. True friends. Then I became famous and everyone wanted to be my friend. I didn't understand the difference for a long time, and was taken advantage of."
Rachel waited patiently for her to continue. When she remained silent, she asked, "Is that why you don't trust us?"
Alex looked over at Rachel with a tear in her eye. "I wanted to be sure. You all mean so much to me that I couldn't bear it if you weren't for real. So I was less than honest with you by hiding things."
"What did you learn?"
She drained her glass and set it back down on the ground beside her chair. "I learned that you are all true friends, and I am not. I learned that it feels horrible to hide, and that no matter the outcome, I must be honest."
"What did you think we were after?" Dani asked.
"The same thing all of the others were. Fame, money, and the things it can buy."
"Fame is fleeting, and money will only get you so much. Love and friendship are what matters," Dani replied.
"Money can open doors, and it can change lives." Alex looked over at Rachel and said, "I've seen it in your
