Nikki crossed her arms over her stomach and grimaced. "What do you mean?"
Alex sat back down and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees. Her head hung low as she stared at the ground. In a flat, monotone voice she replied, "I saw you with another woman. It was obvious you were on a date even though you were with a group." She sighed and slowly ran her hands through her hair. "I left a couple of minutes after you walked in. I couldn't stand to watch. It was clear you had moved on. The next day I contacted my lawyers and began the process to set up the trust. I left the States shortly after that." She swallowed as a shudder ran through her body. "I couldn't take the chance of running into you again. You looked so happy, and I was dying inside."
Alex reached for the glass at her feet and took a drink. "There's one more thing I need to tell you all. Sometimes I despise myself for this, but can't change the past." She looked up and saw three pairs of eyes watching, waiting for her to continue. "I've never forgiven my father for what he did."
"That's understandable," Rachel replied. "What he did was horrific, and most would consider him a monster."
Alex stood, took a large swallow of wine, and set the glass down on the table. "Yes, it was, but I wonder sometimes if I'm any better than him." She looked away and continued on before anyone could interrupt. "I went to visit him once. I convinced the warden to let me in. I was in my early twenties, and recognizable so I had to wear a disguise." Uncomfortable with their eyes on her, she walked behind them and leaned against the low wall of stone surrounding the pool and patio. There she looked out over the rows of grape vines as she told the story. "When I told him who I was, he begged me to forgive him. I told him that I wasn't there to offer forgiveness, but to make a new memory to replace the last one he gave me."
She took a deep breath and wiped at the tears that flowed down her cheeks. "I told him that the only reason I spoke to him at all was because I wanted him to know I was there. I told him that he was getting off far easier than they had." She wiped her cheeks, and exhaled forcefully. "Less than an hour later I watched him die calling my name." She turned and faced Rachel. "What kind of monster does that make me?"
Rachel stood and pulled her into her arms. "Wanting to see him pay for what he did to you and your family does not make you a monster, honey. That makes you human. We know you're not like him. You've proven it to us over and over again." She pulled back and looked her in the eye as she said, "Nothing you've told us here today changes the way I feel or think about you. I love you, Alex. You are one of my best friends, and my daughter's guardian angel. I don't want to lose you again."
Alex sniffled as she gave her a small smile. Rachel stepped aside and allowed Dani to pull her into her arms. Alex was surprised by how tightly she hugged her, and she returned the hug just as fiercely.
"I've missed having you in my life, Alex. I love you and that will never change no matter what else you have to tell us." She pulled back, searching her face. "Please promise me that no matter what happens between you and my bonehead sister, you will not run away from Rachel and me again. If seeing my face hurts too much, I'll change it." She smiled at Alex's low chuckle. "If you feel like either of us starts to take advantage of you, or asks you for money, please say something. Money can be nice, but love, friendship, and family are what matter. You're more than a friend, you're family, and have been since the beginning."
"Thank you."
Dani stepped back and took Rachel's hand. Together they headed into the house, leaving them alone. Alex watched them enter the kitchen and close the door. The silence was suddenly deafening, and she became even more nervous than before as she waited for Nikki to speak. She walked over to the table, and ran a finger over the rim of her wine glass.
"Are you avoiding me?" Nikki asked. Alex shook her head as she met her gaze. "I'm not sure where this leaves us, Alex, or where we go from here." She stood and slowly made her way over to the table. "Lovers and partners should not have secrets. I thought it didn't matter, but I feel like I don't know who you are anymore. Everything I thought I knew about you was a lie."
"That's not true, Nikki. You know who I am. You told me that the past didn't matter because you wanted to know who I am, not who I was. I showed you who I am, Nikki." Alex reached for her and winced when she pulled away. "You know what makes me smile, and what makes me cry. You know just what to say to make me laugh. You know all of my sensitive spots, the ones that make me sigh, and the ones that make me come screaming your name. You know who I really am Nikki, far more than anyone else ever has." She picked up her glass and the half-full bottle of wine, and turned towards the villa. She paused and said, "I kept many things from you, Nikki, and that was wrong, but don't tell me you don't know who I am." She squared her shoulders, and walked away, leaving Nikki alone on the patio.
Chapter
