Nikki cleared her throat and looked up. "What does that mean exactly?"
Alex saw the pain in Nikki's eyes and felt her heart breaking. She looked down at the ground as she tried to control her emotions. She looked back up and said, "I am a multi-millionaire." She heard Dani gasp, but refused to look away from Nikki. She watched as she thought about what she'd said, and tried to understand.
"Why did you hide this from me? I don't understand."
She ran her hand through her hair, and began to pace between the pool and her chair. "Alex, how many of your girlfriends and friends were with you because of the money?" Rachel asked.
"All of them except for Emily and Kelly. They all acted like it didn't matter, but in the end they all wanted it more than they wanted me. I was just someone they had to be friends with, or sleep with, to get it."
Alex turned and dove into the water. She couldn't bear to see the pity in their eyes. She swam a couple laps before pulling herself from the pool, and refilling her wine glass. "I was blind to who Jo really was for a long time. I gave her everything, and gave up so much more." She took a deep breath and looked out towards the foothills. "She took everything and twisted it for her own purpose, including me. I lost myself for a long time."
Her hand shook as she lifted her glass to her lips. "To think I wanted to bring a child into that relationship." She shook her head. "What was I thinking?" A tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. "I was nearly five months pregnant when I found out she was cheating on me again. When I confronted her, she denied it. I showed her the evidence and told her to get out. She was so angry. Not at losing me, but at losing the lifestyle she wanted." Alex began to shake and slowly dropped down into her chair. "She started screaming and slapped me. I tried to run, but she caught me and threw me into the dresser."
"Oh, Alex. No," Dani covered her mouth with one hand, as her eyes grew wide.
Alex nodded as she brushed the tears from her cheeks. "I lost the baby." She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Alex. I can't imagine that pain," Rachel said with a sigh.
"I'm glad, Rachel. For your sake and for Dani's," she replied as she looked at her friends. The pain in her eyes was unmistakable. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone."
After several minutes, Rachel finally broke the silence. "Why don't you tell Nikki what happened after she left. Why you decided to leave the States and come here."
Alex sighed and looked away. She knew in her heart she had to be honest if there was any chance of reconciliation, but was ashamed. "It wasn't pretty." She cleared her throat before continuing her story. "I basically fell apart. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't write. I called several times a day, but Nikki wouldn't answer."
Rachel shook her head. "Don't tell me, tell her, Alex."
She felt her eyes fill with tears when she looked at Nikki. "I left you so many messages. You never took a single call, nor did you return one." She looked down at the wine glass in her hands. "At that point I gave up, on everything. I stopped my physical therapy, stopped seeing my friends, and cut myself off from the world. The lack of sleep and malnutrition began to have an effect on my health."
"What…" Nikki swallowed and cleared her throat. "What effect?" She asked as her brow furrowed and her lips tightened.
"I lost a dangerous amount of weight, and I got lost in my head. I was completely catatonic for several days. Maria finally pulled me out of it, but I nearly ended up in the hospital. I probably should have, but I didn't want you to see me that way." She placed her glass on the ground beside her chair. "After that, Maria kept a closer eye on me, and forced me to eat. That's when I decided to write and publish my story. I thought that since you wouldn't talk to me, maybe you would read it instead. It became my purpose, the only hope I had of fixing what I had screwed up so badly."
"If you wanted to fix this so much, why did you leave?" Nikki's voice cracked. "You didn't tell anyone where you were going. You just disappeared."
Alex looked away as the memory of the night she saw Nikki with another woman flooded her brain. She struggled to push it away as she tried to explain. "I contacted some people I used to know and asked for their help with advertising the book. The next thing I knew I was traveling to Hollywood and New York for television interviews. The night I got back to town I met with Emily and Sarah for dinner. I needed Emily to know about the book before it hit the stands and before the TV shows aired." She looked over at Nikki and felt the color drain from her face. She bit her bottom lip, pressed her hand against her throat, and quickly looked away. She stood and began to pace across the patio. "While we were enjoying a drink at the bar, you walked in with
