Of course Z was there with her. I hate her so much. I don’t even know what he sees in her. She’s fat! I know that’s mean but it’s true. He says it’s like me and Luke—he can’t break it off with her because it would hurt her too much and then what would people think of him. Plus, it’s not like we could ever be together in public. My dad would have a conniption if he knew.
Dad? Have a conniption? He’d been the most mild-mannered, easygoing man. I’d never seen him lose his cool until Beth was killed. Who would be someone my dad wouldn’t have liked?
I lay back on the bed and stared up at the popcorn ceiling. What I needed was my yearbook. If I could look through photos maybe it would jog my memory. I had no idea where it was now. I sat upright. Yearbook. Where was Beth’s? It hadn’t been in the closet. She’d loved having that thing signed by all her friends. Were there secrets scrawled there too, and she’d hidden it somewhere else in this house? Or had it been misplaced and had nothing to do with her death? I closed the journal, frustrated. It was getting late, and I needed to get a few more closets emptied before I went to Cole’s for dinner. Maybe I’d find something in my cleaning and purging that would help me figure out Z’s identity, but I wasn’t holding out much hope.
8
Cole
I checked my phone about a thousand times that afternoon. Like a lovesick teenager, I kept hoping for a flirty text. To distract myself, I changed into shorts and a T-shirt and went out to weed the garden. Hot and dusty, I took off my shirt. As I knelt in the dirt to pull out the stubborn weeds, sweating under the afternoon sun, I smiled to myself. Carlie Webster was coming to my house for dinner. I still couldn’t believe she was here and that I’d actually spent time with her. I’d only been dreaming about that for thirty years. How was it possible I never forgot her? I don’t know. But I’d convinced myself that she was just a fantasy. She wouldn’t be as I remembered her. That theory disappeared the moment I set eyes on her. Carlie had grown even lovelier since school. As far as her personality, it was as sweet and interesting as it had always been.
I picked some tomatoes and squash for my risotto and dropped them on the patio, then called for Moonshine and Duke.
“Come on, guys, let’s go swimming.”
They got up from where they’d been sleeping under the shade of the patio and trotted ahead. A few minutes later, I walked down the skinny trail to my swimming hole. The water was still and deep at this section of the river. Coarse sand created a narrow beach. At its deepest, the hole was about seven feet with a rock in the middle perfect for lying in the sun like a happy lizard. We’d spent some of the best moments of our childhood right here.
Duke jumped right into the water, barking happily, and swam out to the middle of the pool, his golden head bobbing along the surface. The river was where he and his best friend parted ways. Moonshine, with a disdainful flick of her tail, curled up under the shade of a maple. She might think herself a dog, but the cat side of her did not like water.
I slipped my feet out of my flip-flops and dived into the water. No matter how prepared I was, the chill shocked my scorched skin.
I hadn’t thought it possible that the girl of my dreams would actually appear right before my eyes. I cautioned myself to take it slow with her. She had been hurt by her ex-husband. If I were to make any headway, I had to establish the kind of trust we’d shared when we were kids.
What did she see when she looked at me now? Did she think I was merely a flirtation from the past? A summer fling? Fun while it lasted but not something she would ever take seriously? Maybe she thought I was a loser, divorced and living out here in the country like a hermit. She was probably used to intellectuals. Professors, not retired contractors. Childless even. What if she thought we had nothing in common anymore? Did we? Other than our ties to this place, was the deep connection we’d shared when we were young still there? I needed to keep myself in check. In the fall, she’d return to her university job. I’d still be here. Pining for the one who got away.
I called to Duke and Moonshine, and the three of us walked back up the trail to the house. The sun toasted the top of my head. My hair was nearly dry by the time I reached the patio. I grabbed my vegetables and went inside.
As I entered the kitchen, my phone buzzed. I placed my bounty in the sink and reached into my back pocket. Carlie’s name showed on the screen. Was she canceling?
“Hiya.” Hiya? Who said that in their forties? I sounded like an idiot, as if I were trying to sound cool and nonchalant.
“Hi, it’s Carlie.”
“Hi, Carlie.” Better. I sounded like an adult now.
“I wondered if you needed me to pick up anything before I head out.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I thought you were going to cancel.”
“Why would I do that?” Carlie asked.
“I don’t know. When it comes to love, I’m not really used to things going my way.”
“I can relate.”
I hesitated, moved by the soft, intimate tone of her voice. “When will you be here?” Real cool, buddy. Way to act totally needy. I’d been hopeless at dating back when I was young and slightly cool. Now? I was doomed. No, this is Carlie, I told
