And few who can act like a Post.”
Frank L. Poth
Capitalist, Philadelphia
Friend Poth loves our national game,
And it seems kind of sort of a shame
That he lives in Philly
Whose teams act so silly.—
Come West: You can spend just the same!
Hanson F. Randle
Vice-Pres. Railways Ice Co., Chicago
When young Mr. Randle sets out
In quest of the e-lusive trout,
Each terrified fish
Sobs “Oh, how I wish
This bird were in bed with the gout!”
Wm. H. Ranking
Advertising Expert, Chicago
Our gain is New Albany’s loss,
But we’re glad that you moved here, old hoss,
And Samuel’s stil thankin’ you,
Hoosier Bill Rankin—you
Sure put those war drives across!
F. H. Rawson
Banker, Chicago
If his statements don’t seem to agree
With my stubs, why the blame rests with me,
And if I’m overdrawn,
He camps on my lawn.—
Yet he calls it a Trust Company.
George W. Reed
Vice-President Peabody Coal Co., Chicago
These fuel men are pitiable souls;
They’re out playing thirty-six holes,
While we fuss and fret
Our heads off to get
The money for next winter’s coals.
Frank H. Reilly
Real Estate, Chicago
Frank Reilly’s a real estate man,
And also a rabid Sox Fan,
But he’d buy up left field
If he thought it would yield
Good returns in building a lot plan.
Peter Reinberg
President, County Commissioners, Chicago
Meet County Commissioner Peter,
The Forest Preserve is his creetur,
And everyone knows he’s
The author of posies
Which make our sweet city much sweeter.
Alexander H. Revell
Merchant, Chicago
In the tank he’s a regular whizz,
And all kinds of golf cups are his.
I hope that when I
Am as old as this guy,
I’ll be just as young as he is.
Harry J. Ridings
Western Manager Geo. M. Cohan Interests, Chicago
George Cohan would simply expire
And write songs for the heavenly choir
If he received tidings
That Harry J. Ridings
Had made up his mind to retire.
Wallace N. Robinson
Hotel Operator, Headquarters Kansas City, Mo.
He came to Toledo to see
The Fourth of July massacre,
And one evening, they say,
He gave dollars away,
But nobody notified me.
J. J. Rosenthal
Manager, Woods Theatre, Chicago
It seems kind of funny that all
The real shows should hire the same hall,
But everything good’s
To appear at the Woods,
Just take it from J. Rosenthal
H. M. Rowley
Hoover Suction Sweeper Co., Chicago
What fun, when the housekeeper lugs
His sweeper across your soiled rugs,
To see the big ruction
(It’s caused by the suction)
Among all the visiting bugs!
Joseph A. Rushton
Stock Broker, Chicago
In a broad Mississippi bayou,
(With something to ward off the flu),
This amiable gent
Is more than content
If he catches a dogfish or two
Peter J. Schaefer
Theatre Owner, Chicago
What grouchy old hen wouldn’t lay fer
As genial a boss as Pete Schaefer!
Most show people coop
Their chicks in the loop,
But Pete says the farm is much safer.
George K. Schmidt
Banker and Member Board of Assessors, Chicago
“Did I get any muskies,” he said,
“In the land of the once noble Red?
Well, that I won’t swear,
But what do I care?—
I dug up a swell arrow head.”
Fred C. Schwab
Tire Dealer, Chicago
For me, an old neighbor of his, it
Is not very neighborly, is it,
To hope that some time
Will pass before I’m
Obliged to pay Freddie a visit?
Capt. Orlando F. Scott
Surgeon, Chicago
When you’ve mislaid a finger or two,
Or dropped a few toes from your shoe,
Call up Dr. Scott;
He’s probably got
New parts for those lost off’n you.
Benjamin Serlis
Investments, Chicago
The artist again and again
Tried to picture this guy with a pen,
But it’s plain to be seen
That a movie machine
Is needed to catch up with Ben.
Walden W. Shaw
Pres. Yellow Cab Co., Chicago
He’s at home on the turbulent blue;
He’s fond of sky-piloting, too;
In fact, no smart fellow
Would call him a Yellow,
Though that is his favorite hue.
George W. Sheehan
Pres. Central Sugar Co., Chicago
The sugar king, minus his crown.
His job is the sweetest in town
The picture we see is
Supposed to mean he is
Attempting to keep sugar down.
Cornell Shreiber
Mayor of Toledo
The Mayor of Toledo, and, yes,
A friend of poor scribes in distress,
So good and so kind
That he even declined
My offer to bet him on Jess.
James Simpson
Vice Pres. Marshall Field & Co., Chicago
You see him in Fields’s now and then,
And talk about Regular Men,
Why, I hear from him wonth
The first of each month,
And on the fifteenth, wonth again.
Mort H. Singer
Theatrical Man, Chicago
Somewhere in the book I have read
That Mort is the French word for dead,
A name which I claim
Fits Mort Singer the same
As a tongue fits an elephant’s head.
Modie J. Spiegel
Pres. Spiegels House Furnishing Co., Chicago
The life of the party is Modie.
In singing he hits like Ping Bodie,
And his “Blowing Bubbles”
Will banish your troubles
As quickly as bourbon and sodie.
Major A. A. Sprague
Wholesale Grocer, Chicago
“I wish,” said the poor father bear,
With the very last breath he could spare,
“I wish Major Sprague
Were in bed with the plague,
Or else had remained Over There.”
James F. Stepina
Banker, Chicago
When his people, worn out by the scrap,
Faced total extinction, this chap
Came cheerfully through
With a fortune or two,
And now take a look at the map!
Fred E. Sterling
State Treasurer, Springfield, Rockford, Chicago
The audience was saying, “How slow
They are about starting this show!”
When the manager peeked
Through the curtain and squeaked:
“Fred Sterling’s arrived. Let ’er go!”
Elliott G. Stevenson
Lawyer, Detroit
The gent who invented the flivver
Still thinks of this guy with a shiver,
And you bet your boots
He will start no more suits
Till Elliott’s crossed the dark river.
