A. A. Jackson
Shirt Maker, Chicago
You haven’t no right to look cheesey
When you can look good very easy
Providing that you’ll
Go to Michigan Boul.
And purchase an outfit from Z. Z.
G. J. L. Janes
Gen. Mgr. Hillman’s, Chicago
He’s boss of the golf club at Beverly,
A job that weighs on him quite heverly.
In the time that remains
Mr. G. J. L. Janes
Runs Hillman’s big store very cleverly
Ban B. Johnson
Baseball Magnate, Chicago
Here’s Ban, sometimes known as B. B.
Initials fit calling, you see.
They say he’s a czar,
But what if he are?
His Russia looks prosp’rous to me.
Walter Clyde Jones
Patent Lawyer, Chicago and New York
Here’s Jonesey, whose time’s mostly spent
In list’ning to guys who invent.
Before he is through,
He may go crazy, too,
From mingling with guys which has went.
S. R. Kaufman
Pres. Congress Hotel, Chicago
I’d wear the same satisfied smile
If I, too, could say without guile:
“Oh, yes, Campanini,
Farrar and Houdini
All visit me once in a while.”
John H. Kirby
Capitalist, Houston, Texas
They say that he once lost a number
Of millions, as well as some slumber,
But he got it all back,
Both slumber and jack,
By nervy investments in lumber.
Charles Kratsch
Ignition Expert, Chicago
This gent’s in a praying position,
But looking for trouble’s his mission.
He can tell in the dark
If the fault’s with the spark
Which it’s not, if you use his ignition.
Chas. Krutchoff
County Assessor, Chicago
He may greet you with love in his eye,
He may treat you much nicer than pie;
For if he is your friend,
He’s your friend to the end—
But your taxes remain just as high.
Sigmund Lawton
Broker, Chicago
This picture shows one lucky chap
With his favorite sports on his lap.
They go out together
In all kinds of weather
And motor all over the map.
James Levy
Automobiles and Airplane Dealer, Chicago
Hunched over the low handle bars,
He was one of our early bike stars,
And the speed bug remains:
He is now selling planes
And dealing in fast motor cars.
David R. Lewis
Banker, Chicago
Most people who need it can owe it
To Dave, if they swear they won’t blow it,
And I’m sure you can trust
His bank not to bust,
For he won’t lend a dime to a poet.
Adolph Linick
Theater Owner, Chicago
A. Linick won’t have to rap twice
When he’s ready to try Paradise,
For St. Peter knows
He will give ’em good shows
And charge ’em a moderate price.
A. B. Magnus
Capitalist, Chicago
The Reds were to battle the Sox,
And ’twas long after two by all clocks,
But the umps said, “quit naggin’ us;
We’ll wait till Ad Magnus
Comes in and gets set in his box.”
C. L. Maguire
Pres. Lakeside Petroleum Co., Chicago
When he’s through with the arduous toil
Of vending a gallon of oil,
He hastens with glee
To the nearest first tee
And ploughs up an acre of soil.
Jno. W. Maguire
V.P. and Gen. Mgr. Portage Rubber Co., Akron
With this picture on view, it requires
No sleuth to decide he makes tires,
And say, if you go out
Expecting a blow-out,
Take some other tires than Maguire’s.
F. J. Manton
Merchant, Toledo
He seems to have sports on the brain;
On baseball and fights he’s insane.
He once had a book;
He gave it one look,
Then turned to the sport page again.
Clayton Mark
Steel Manufacturer, Chicago
This gent goes to bed now and then
As early as 2 or 2:10
And if sleepy, why he
Stays in bed until 3;
Then it’s back to the steel mill again.
Oscar F. Mayer
Packer, Chicago
Behind yonder tree, see what hides!
Why, there’s dear little deer on all sides.
But Oscar plays hunches
And brings his own lunches—
He don’t like the flavor of guides.
M. DeWitt McAlpine
V-Pres. Bradner Smith & Co., Chicago
Chicago’s most popular batch,
So far he has not met his match;
But he isn’t immune
And I’m thinking that soon
Some lady will make a good catch.
Chas. A. McCulloch
V.-Pres & Gen. Mgr. Parmalee Transfer Co., Chicago
No Parmalee busman or hoss
Is ever disgruntled or cross
Or crabby or scrappy.
But who’d not be happy
With Charley McCulloch for boss!
Jas. C. McGill
President Indianapolis Indians, Indianapolis
Although genial Jimmy McGill
Is a nephew of old Pittsburgh Phil,
We don’t care two cookies
Who swatteth the bookies,
So long as his team swats the pill.
C. R. McKay
Dept. Governor Federal Reserve Bank, Chicago
Oh, yes, it’s a dandy posish,
But—Well, there’s a spot up in Mich.
Where you needn’t wear collars
Nor always think dollar
Nor argue with two-legged fish
Col. Angus McLean
Surgeon, Detroit
The clans have gone nearly insane
Considering which of the twain
Makes Scotland feel prouder—
The braw Harry Lauder,
Or braw Colonel Angus McLean.
John J. Meagher
Stock Broker, Chicago
He does lots of reading, I hear,
And he reads standing up, which is queer,
Every once in a while,
What he reads makes him smile,
But sometimes it forces a tear.
Joseph Michaels
Iron Merchant, Chicago
If they’d level the bunkers and traps,
If they’d shorten the course a few laps,
Joe Michaels would utter
Less oaths at his putter,
And go ’round in a hundred—perhaps.
Amos C. Miller
Lawyer, Chicago
He started by betting his stack
On the Stone Brothers, Fire and Black.
Now, casings or cases,
He’s always got aces.
No wonder he rakes in the jack!
Eugene C. Miller
Pres.
