they come instead of reading books about them, will be more at home with us than they are with the old English notions which our tourists try to keep alive. When you find some country gentleman keeping up the old English customs at Christmas and so forth, who is he? An American who has bought the place. Your people get up the show for him because he pays for it, not because it is natural to them.
The Queen
With a sigh. Our own best families go so much to Ireland nowadays. People should not be allowed to go from England to Ireland. They never come back.
Vanhattan
Well, can you blame them, ma’am? Look at the climate!
The Queen
No: it is not the climate. It is the Horse Show.
The King rises very thoughtfully; and Vanhattan follows his example.
Magnus
I must think over this. I have known for years past that it was on the cards. When I was young, and under the influence of our family tradition, which of course never recognized the rebellion of the American colonies as valid, I actually dreamt of a reunited English speaking empire at the head of civilization.
Vanhattan
Fine! Great! And now come true.
Magnus
Not yet. Now that I am older and wiser I find the reality less attractive than the dream.
Vanhattan
And is that all I am to report to the President, sir? He will be disappointed. I am a little taken aback, myself.
Magnus
For the present, that is all. This may be a great idea—
Vanhattan
Surely, surely.
Magnus
It may also be a trap in which England will perish.
Vanhattan
Encouragingly. Oh, I shouldn’t look at it that way. Besides, nothing—not even dear old England—can last forever. Progress, you know, sir, progress, progress!
Magnus
Just so, just so. We may survive only as another star on your flag. Still, we cling to the little scrap of individuality you have left us. If we must merge, as you call it—or did you say submerge?—some of us will swim to the last. To the Queen. My dear.
The Queen strikes her gong.
Pamphilius returns.
Magnus
You shall hear from me after the Cabinet meets. Not tonight: you must not sit up waiting for a message. Early tomorrow, I hope. Thank you for bringing me the news before the papers got it: that seldom happens now. Pamphilius: you will reconduct his Excellency. Good evening. He shakes hands.
Vanhattan
I thank your Majesty. To the Queen. Good evening, ma’am. I look forward to presenting myself in court dress soon.
The Queen
You will look very nice in it, Mr. Vanhattan. Good evening.
The Ambassador goes out with Pamphilius.
Magnus
Striding grimly to and fro. The scoundrels! That blackguard O’Rafferty! That booby bull-roarer Bossfield! Breakages, Limited, have taken it into their heads to mend the British Commonwealth.
The Queen
Quietly. I think it is a very good thing. You will make a very good emperor. We shall civilize these Americans.
Magnus
How can we when we have not yet civilized ourselves? They have come to regard us as a mere tribe of redskins. England will be just a reservation.
The Queen
Nonsense, dear! They know that we are their natural superiors. You can see it by the way their women behave at court. They really love and reverence royalty; while our English peeresses are hardly civil—when they condescend to come at all.
Magnus
Well, my dear, I do many things to please you that I should never do to please myself; and I suppose I shall end as American Emperor just to keep you amused.
The Queen
I never desire anything that is not good for you, Magnus. You do not always know what is good for you.
Magnus
Well, well, well, well! Have it your own way, dearest. Where are these infernal ministers? They’re late.
The Queen
Looking out into the garden. Coming across the lawn with Sempronius.
The Cabinet arrives. The men take off their hats as they come up the steps. Boanerges has taken advantage of the interval to procure a brilliant uniform and change into it. Proteus, with Sempronius, heads the procession, followed immediately by the two lady ministers. The Queen rises as Proteus turns to her. Sempronius moves the little table quickly back to the balustrade out of the way, and puts the Queen’s chair in the centre for the King.
The Queen
Shaking hands. How do you do, Mr. Proteus?
Proteus
May I present the President of the Board of Trade, Mr. Boanerges?
The Queen
I remember seeing you, Mr. Boanerges, at the opening of the Transport Workers’ Summer Palace. You wore a most becoming costume then. I hope you have not given it up.
Boanerges
But the Princess told me I looked ridiculous in it!
The Queen
That was very naughty of the Princess. You looked particularly well in it. However, you look well in anything. And now I leave you all to your labors.
She goes out along the terrace. Sempronius follows with her knitting.
Magnus
Sitting down. Be seated, ladies and gentlemen.
They take chairs of one sort or another where they can find them, first leaving their hats on the balustrade. When they are seated, their order from the King’s right to his left is Nicobar, Crassus, Boanerges, Amanda, the King, Proteus, Lysistrata, Pliny, and Balbus.
A pause, Proteus waiting for the King to begin. He, deep in thought, says nothing. The silence becomes oppressive.
Pliny
Chattily. Nice weather we’re having, these evenings.
Amanda
Splutters. !!!
Magnus
There is rather a threatening cloud on the western horizon, Mr. Pliny. To Proteus. Have you heard the news from America?
Proteus
I have, sir.
Magnus
Am I to be favored with the advice of my ministers on that subject?
Proteus
By your Majesty’s leave, we will take the question of the ultimatum first.
Magnus
Do you think the ultimatum will matter much when
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