irritated; guys were the last thing I wanted to discuss, especially after Josh. When the circle broke up, and everyone was ripping into junk food, he turned up.
I almost felt the atmosphere change when the front door opened and could hear the low rumble of his voice. The accent was interesting and I giggled nervously with Amber. The urge to go was stronger than ever now. I had done what they wanted, but now the guy element was involved, I needed to get away. I almost dropped my glass when he walked into room.
His smile was the same as from my dreams, but this time he didn’t change into someone else, this was real. When he walked in, I felt as if the very fabric of time was slowing like we were slipping between realities. My head spun as I visually drank him in. Here, he was more defined, not hazy, or changing shape, and taller, taller than my dream with his thick mane of tousled hair. I noticed the way some of it drooped into his eyes, framing the skin that was like dark reddened wood and emphasising the mystery. When he turned to talk to the others, I caught sight of a tattoo on his neck and strained for a closer look. From what I could see, they were wings, and it made me tingle, remembering my dream. While everyone monopolised his attention, I kept stealing looks, to store until I got home. I always did this with delicious, happy thoughts; even Josh had once been part of my secret click, store and file technique.
Hawk, even the name, seemed unusual, and he did have an American Indian look about him. I knew he didn’t go to my school, he seemed older. Word from the group was that he’d made contact online. I made a mental note to do some research on their type of meditation. At least I would know what I was doing, I reasoned to myself. I just couldn’t shake the whole dream thing; it wasn’t just a case of deja vu. I had seen him, I recognised him and while everyone around me was chattering like chipmunks, I was shaking.
‘God, he's so sexy...don't you think? And he’s looking at you.’ Amber' made me jump at the way she crept up behind me. But it was her voice that was worse, it wasn’t the most subtle whisper, and I could swear he was listening.
‘I know you, and you know me.’ I think, holding my breath as he approached.
‘Hawk, this is Nevaeh, and this is her first time.’ Andrea said, snapping me out of my trance.
‘Nevaeh…’ he whispered, and I felt goose bumps all over my body at the way he curled his tongue round my name. Before I could say anything, he was pulled away by the twins, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
‘So rude.’ Amber whispered and I bit my lip, trying to keep it together. I didn’t miss the look of irritation that flashed across his face and even Andrea looked annoyed. I continued to stare at him from across the room, the first traces of jealousy setting in. I felt irritated by the way the twins hovered round him, flicking their hair and arching their backs.
He’s talking quietly to Andrea in the corner of the room now, and from their body language, it’s quite intense. All I notice is the way he bites then licks his lips, imagining what it would be like to kiss them. When he paused, and half turned his face, I blushed, wondering if I was making my thoughts obvious.
I suddenly felt hot, too hot and pushed my hair from my face.
‘Hey, are you okay?’ Caro asked bluntly. A little too bluntly and I felt the blush deepen, cringing, when everyone including him turned to stare at me.
‘Yes, I mean no, I’ve got a bit of a headache, I’m sorry, I need to go home.’ I hated lying and knew that it didn’t sound convincing. Most of all, I didn’t look in his direction. The urge to escape was strong. I didn’t want to be here anymore, I needed to go home, to think. I somehow managed to ignore the protests, the loudest coming from Amber who I side stepped. After promising her, that I really had a headache and it wasn’t anything else, I stepped outside.
The wind seemed to mimic my anxiety and I pulled my hoodie as far as it would go over the sides of my face, covering my icy ears. I didn’t see the cyclist or hear the ringing of the bell as it sped past until it was too late.
Now, I’m on my knees, the contents of my bag spilling everywhere. Thoughts of the shadow returning make me scream in frustration. I even toy with the idea of leaving it. When a hand touched my shoulder, fear locked up a scream in my throat.
‘Are you alright?’
I nod like an idiot. It takes me another second to realise that my mouth is still open. It’s him and I’m not certain whether to breathe a sigh of relief or panic that he’d followed me. What if the dream was a bad omen? I remember the hands pulling me into the earth.
‘Are you sure?’ he repeats.
I nod again, still not looking at him, only aware of the contents of my bag as I sweep everything up, embarrassed by my collection of junk.
‘Stand up slowly,’ he instructed, his voice is soft and I let him pull me up. I can feel the tension in his arms – he’s strong and it makes me feel calmer.
‘Time to take you home,’ he says sternly and I’m almost comforted by the worry that is etched onto his face. I feel myself blushing, something I hadn’t felt a few minutes ago. I hoped he didn’t notice. The thought of him being a bad omen, of being dangerous made me smile at my idiocy.
‘Something amusing?’ He bent his head to look at me
‘Hmm? Nope, it’s just…’ I shake my head, feeling embarrassed when he extends his arm to me. It was so old fashioned but it made me feel safer. We didn’t speak all the way to my house, and I’m torn between wanting to be inside with my thoughts and making the most of walking with him. I inhale deeply when we both step up to the front step. I know that if he kisses me, I will kiss him back and the thought surprises even me. When his lips brush my forehead, I’m surprised at how upset I am. I must have misread everything.
‘I know you, and you know me.’ He whispered before melting back into the night, like a dream.
4
