Barry Lindon

I lost many a bet to the royal dukes, His Majesty's brothers.

EXT. FIELD - DAY

Reviewing the company of troops.

Roderick, the Earl of Crabs, the Countess, Patrick and Brookside, several princes and noblemen and the Duke of Rutland.

RODERICK (V.O.)

One of the main causes of expense which this ambition of mine entailed upon me was the fitting out and arming of a company of infantry from the Hackton estates, which I offered to my gracious sovereign for the campaign against the American rebels. These troops, superbly equipped and clothed, were embarked at Portsmouth in the year 1778.

INT. ST. JAMES - RECEPTION ROOM - DAY

George III meeting people and stopping to talk to Roderick. Present also is the Duke of Rutland.

RODERICK (V.O.)

And the patriotism of the gentlemen who raised them was so acceptable at court that, on being presented by my Lord Crabs, His Majesty condescended to notice me particularly and said:

GEORGE III

That's right, Mr. Cosgrove, raise another company, and go with them, too!

INT. COFFEE HOUSE - NIGHT

RODERICK (V.O.)

Crabs was really one of the most entertaining fellows in the world, and I took a sincere pleasure in his company, besides the interest and desire I had in cultivating the society of the most important personages of the realm.

Roderick clumsily tries to engage in conversation with the famed Dr. Johnson, on the subject of a book or play, of the day, and is rebuffed for his trouble.

JOHNSON

If I were you, Mr. Cosgrove, I should mind my horses and tailors and not trouble myself about letters.

Laughter, Roderick bristles.

RODERICK

Dr. Johnson, I think you misbehave most grossly, treating my opinions with no more respect than those of a schoolboy. You fancy, sir, you know a great deal more than me, because you quote your 'Aristotle' and 'Plato,' but can you tell me which horse will win at Epsom Downs next week? Can you shoot the ace of spades ten times without missing? If so, talk about Aristotle and Plato with me.

BOSWELL

(roars)

Do you know who you're speaking to?!

JOHNSON

Hold your tongue, Mr. Boswell, I had no right to brag of my Greek, gentlemen, and he has answered me very well.

RODERICK

(pleased)

Do you know ever a rhyme for Aristotle?

GOLDSMITH

(laughing)

Port, if you please.

JOHNSON

Waiter, bring on of Captain James' rhymes for Aristotle.

RODERICK (V.O.)

And we had six rhymes for Aristotle before we left the coffee house that evening.

INT. LONDON CLUB - NIGHT

EARL OF CRABS

Henri, this is Mr. James Cosgrove, who wishes to arrange a dinner party next week for sixty guests.

HENRI

I am at your service, Mr. Cosgrove. How much do you wish to spend?

RODERICK

As much as possible.

HENRI

As much as possible?

RODERICK

Yes, for I wish to entertain splendidly.

HENRI

All the same, you must name an amount.

RODERICK

It is entirely up to you. I want the best.

EARL OF CRABS

May I suggest five hundred guineas?

RODERICK

Will that be enough?

HENRI

Last month, the Duke of Suffolk spent no more.

RODERICK

All right, five hundred guineas.

INT. CASTLE HACKTON - RODERICK'S STUDY - DAY

Roderick is seated at a large table, stacked high with bills and letters; his accountant is seated next to him, aided by a bookkeeper. Roderick looks at each bill and his accountant explains the charge.

RODERICK (V.O.)

The life I was leading was that of a happy man, but I was not happy.

INT. CASTLE HACKTON - LONG GALLERY - DAY

Roderick, walking with big strides, leads Brookside by his ear. Little Patrick runs alongside, pleading for his brother.

PATRICK

Papa, please don't flog Brookside today. It wasn't his fault -­really is wasn't.

Roderick ignores him.

RODERICK (V.O.)

By now, young Brookside was of so wild, savage, and insubordinate a nature that I never had the least regard for him. As he grew up to be a man, his hatred for me assumed an intensity quite wicked to think of and which, I promise you, I returned with interest.

He drags Brookside into his study, slamming the door behind him.

INT. LIBRARY - DAY

Roderick alone. Brookside enters with a pistol.

BROOKSIDE

(grinding his teeth)

Look you now, Mister Roderick James, from this moment on, I will submit to no further chastisement from you! Do you understand that?

RODERICK

Give me that pistol.

BROOKSIDE

Take heed, Mister James. I will shoot you if you lay hands on me now, or ever again. Is that entirely clear to you, sir?

Roderick stares hard at him, then he laughs and sits down.

RODERICK (V.O.)

I decided, at once, to give up that necessary part of his education. In truth, he then became the most violent, daring, disobedient, scapegrace, that ever caused an affectionate parent pain; he was certainly the most incorrigible.

INT. CASTLE HACKTON - BROOKSIDE'S ROOM - DAY

Brookside smashing a chair over the head of his governor, Reverend Hunt.

RODERICK (V.O.)

Twice or thrice, Reverend Hunt attempted to punish my Lord Brookside; but I promise you the rogue was too strong for him, and leveled the Oxford man to the ground with a chair, greatly to the delight of little Patrick, who cried out: 'Bravo, Brooksy! Thump him, thump him!'

EXT. CASTLE HACKTON - GARDEN - DAY

Brookside and Patrick.

RODERICK (V.O.)

With the child, Brookside was, strange to say, pretty tractable. He took a liking to the little fellow -- I like him the more, he said, because he was 'half a Cosgrove.'