has his chainsaw. Benny loses the fight, and Randall gets his beloved chainsaw back.
They need to get the kids out. With Randall in the front, carving up every dracula that comes at them, and Jenny in the back, they move through the hospital as a group. The noise attracts more draculas, but that’s fine, because Randall is ready to saw up as many of those things as will come at him. He’s feeling
They make it outside the hospital. There’s a news van out there. Randall gets the kids into the back of the van…but Jenny isn’t with them anymore. A dracula grabbed her. The van drives off with the kids, but Randall has to go back into the hospital. He saves Jenny again, but his chainsaw dies, and now there are too many creatures in the lobby, feasting on the dismembered corpses of their fellow draculas. They need another way out. Which connects us back to the idea of going to the roof…
Jeff
• • •
No, just wanted to know what options he’s got. Nurse Herrick just gave him the most convoluted directions to the blood bank in history. Of course, it’s in the basement. I’m actually afraid for him.
Blake
• • •
@ Jeff - That works for me. Or they can meet with Clay and Adam in the hall and all go up together. If Jenny dies get separated, I need a lead dracula to terrorize her.
@ Blake - Is Adam going to kill Oasis? Or will he balk at killing a child? Also, Adam will have an overnight bag for the hospital stay. He can fill a wheeled suitcase with blood packs.
Joe
• • •
Adam 4.0 up…may need to do an accuracy polish later on what’s happening with Stacie medically.
Blake
• • •
You can give Adam an iPad, which he reads the bible on. That could be his light. Or just a regular book light, for late night gospel reading. He’ll need something in the basement.
Joe
• • •
Joe, cool. Jenny doesn’t need to be separated for long—basically, she’s not there when Randall gets outside with the kids, but he finds her again fairly quickly after he gets back inside. She’s had her big showdown with Lanz, so I think it’s fine to keep it all in Randall’s POV until they’re back together, heading upstairs.
Jeff
• • •
Herrick 1.0 is up…on to Adam’s journey into the basement.
Blake
• • •
I did a quick draft of this to get it out of my system.
When Adam pulls the trigger, it would be nice to have a POV character see the windows blow out from the parking lot.
Paul
• • •
I’ll read it right now. Oasis 4.0 is up…short scene in the maternity ward.
Blake
• • •
Paul, that’s beautiful. I can see this all coming together now. There will be a touching scene between Adam and Stacie right before
Blake
• • •
I head Adam on the roof: “I can’t turn into one of these abominations. I won’t!”
Clay: “That can be arranged.”
Paul
• • •
That was I
Sheesh
Paul
• • •
I think this is the first time I’m really catching a glimpse of how this thing is going to wrap up, of seeing the sum of the parts, and it’s truly exciting. Gonna be a helluva book.
Blake
• • •
Adam 5.0 is up…which is halfway through his journey into hell.
Blake
• • •
Jeff 7.0 is up…wherein the lumberjack and the clown and set up for their final confrontation.
Jeff
• • •
Going way back to the beginning of the process, I was very happy to see Blake’s glorious “intestines stuck in the drawer” sequence. I thought “Sweet! We get to have FUN with this thing!”
Jeff
• • •
I’m reading this and laughing while I’m worrying about Randall. Together the 4 of us have created, I think, the paradigm of balancing horror and humor. I armed Randall with the ultimate hand weapon, and you, Jeff (you should add, btw, something about its awesome recoil) have used incidents from previous chapters to render it useless against Benny.
Paul
September 13, 2010
Paul, I’m redoing the infodump scene, trying to make it less on the nose. It begins with Clay and Shanna in the stairwell, and Shanna isn’t packing heat.
Did I miss something, or in the previous scene was Shanna gung-ho about carrying a weapon, and refused to give it back?
Joe
• • •
It didn’t ring true, so I’m going to change it when we go back for fix-ups.
Paul
• • •
It’s possible there’s so much info to dump that you should spread it over several Shanna/Clay scenes.
Blake
• • •
There’s a scene with Shanna alone in the chapel where she’s trying to reconcile some of what she knows with what she’s seen (ie, the monster wearing Mort’s pants/belt). You could start the exposition there, maybe have her interrupted by Clay’s calling her name through the intercom. Then finish the exposition on the stairwell.
Paul
• • •
Jeff 8.0 is up…The heartfelt reunion of a man and his chainsaw.
Jeff
