A Child In Need

‘And it was.’ But her smile was now uncertain. ‘For you, too?’

‘Of course. But Shanni…’

‘I know it’s not your first time.’ She smiled, teasing him. ‘Or I assumed. Unless you’ve been saving your condom just for me for all these years…’

‘Shanni…’

‘I’m not fussed.’ She turned within his hold and kissed him lightly on the mouth-and his need for her rose so strongly within that it was almost overpowering. ‘What’s past is past.’

Only it wasn’t. His past was always with him.

‘I’m not what you want,’ he said heavily.

Silence. Then… ‘What exactly is it that you think I want, Nick Daniels?’ Her voice was low-husky-and somehow there was a hint of anger in it. ‘Apart from you making love to me.’

‘I don’t know.’ His arm tightened around her shoulders, involuntarily, catching her to him again. ‘Husband material, maybe?’

The anger was definitely there. She hauled herself out of his arms, sat up in bed and glared at him for all she was worth.

‘You’re kidding. You think I’ll be expecting to marry you now-just because I’ve slept with you?’

Yeah. Maybe he did think that. He blinked, flummoxed, but she was still on her soapbox.

‘Just because I wanted it to be special doesn’t mean I wanted it to be that special! So you can take that look of a trapped dodo right out of your eyes-this minute! And make love to me again.’

‘I…’

‘Are you refusing?’

‘No.’ Hell, no! ‘But…’

‘Stop thinking, my lovely Nicholas,’ she ordered. ‘Men are always dangerous when they think. I said I love you and I do, but loving you doesn’t mean I’m setting any trap. I’m taking each moment as it comes, and so should you. So shut up, lie back and think of England. Do anything but think!’

Only, of course he did think.

He made love to her as if there was no tomorrow, and at the back of his mind he knew just how desperately he was falling in love with this lady. She’d said she loved him and the words had exposed a hunger he hadn’t known he was capable of. But…could he return it? Could he forge a tomorrow for them? He loved her, sure, but to be a part of a family…

They showered-together-and dressed and were waiting respectably when Harry woke. And still Nick thought…

They took Harry to the zoo-and decided meerkats were the most wonderful animals in the world-and they laughed at the seals and gawked at giraffes and ate popcorn and lay on the lawns and soaked up the sun-and all the while Nick thought.

Could he take this further? If so, how far? She was so wonderful. This was so wonderful.

Could he let himself fall…?

He had his whole life mapped out, and Shanni wasn’t in it, but suddenly his life plans were looking pretty bleak. Shanni, on the other hand, was looking more desirable by the minute. She lay on her back on the grass and ate her ice-cream cone upside down-‘A feat I’ve been practising for a zillion years,’ she said-and she chuckled with Harry and told Nick he was soooo boring for choosing vanilla and choosing to eat his ice-cream the right way up.

And she found a T-shirt with a meerkat printed on the front-and promptly bought an extra-large one for Nick and a very small one for Harry and insisted Harry and Nick put them on immediately.

So Nick was forced to buy her one too-of course-and they walked around the zoo in three matching, ridiculous meerkat shirts-and then Nick saw a sign asking for sponsors to adopt a meerkat, and they promptly adopted one called Tim, because he had a sore foot and he was Harry’s favourite.

‘His birthday’s next month,’ the keeper told them. ‘You’ll come to celebrate?’

‘We surely will,’ Shanni said, eyes glowing, and Nick knew that, expectations or not, he was in so deep now he just might never get out. And he didn’t know if he wanted to get out.

And then they caught the last train home, and life started again. Life as it was meant to be…

‘Shanni, I’m engaged. Shanni, Shanni, Shanni…’ It was Louise, the next McDonald sister down from Shanni. She was standing on the platform waiting for them, and she was fairly bursting with excitement and news. She hugged Shanni, she hugged Harry and then, for good measure, she hugged Nick as well.

‘I came to collect you myself because I wanted to tell you first and Aunt Adele hasn’t been answering her phone all weekend. Where have you been? No matter. Shanni, Alastair asked me to marry him on Friday night, just after you left. Of course I said yes. We’ve been celebrating all weekend and there’s a party happening at home right now. So you need to come right on out.’

Shanni looked helplessly at Nick-this was just what she didn’t need! But Nick just shrugged and smiled. He’d been growing more and more quiet on the train journey-and now this!

‘Go ahead,’ he told her. ‘It’s been a great weekend. My car’s here. I’ll take Harry home.’

It was a dismissal-kindly meant, but a dismissal for all that-and Shanni’s heart sank.

‘Hey, you need to come, too,’ Louise told him, but Nick shook his head.

‘No. It’s a family party.’

‘But…’

‘Let him be, Louise,’ Shanni said shortly, fixing her sister with a look she couldn’t ignore. She sighed, trying to take her mind off the expression on Nick’s face-the look that said he was back to formality. ‘By the way, Louise-did you know that Aunt Adele has never been better in her life? That the story of her illness was a ruse to get me to Melbourne?’

‘Oh…’ Louise had the grace to blush. ‘Well, sort of. It was Mary’s idea, though.’

‘Why?’ Shanni was so aware of Nick’s expression. Blankly smiling… It was as if he was restoring himself to someone she thought had disappeared. But he hadn’t. He was now remembering who he was.

Any minute now he’d put his blasted tie back on!

But Louise had regained her composure and was unabashed. She gave Shanni a cheeky grin. ‘McDonald match-making, of course,’ she said blithely. ‘Plus Mary thought you needed to get away, Shanni, and we thought you three might have fun. Did you?’

‘Yes, but…’

‘There you go, then.’ All was right in Louise’s world and she had no intention of letting a guilty conscience get in the way of her joy. She beamed at the three of them. ‘Should Alastair ask Nick to be a groomsman to match you as my bridesmaid?’

‘No,’ Shanni said, revolted. ‘Louise, don’t be stupid.’

But Louise was incorrigible. ‘Am I being stupid, Nick?’ she demanded, and peeped a smile at him. Nick managed a smile back as he lifted Harry into his arms and prepared to carry him out to the car park.

‘I don’t think I’m groomsman material,’ he said shortly.

‘How about groom itself?’

‘Louise, butt out!’ Shanni was practically speechless with mortification. Her family was impossible…

‘I guess I’m not that either,’ Nick told her, and he gave Shanni a smile that was as impersonal as it was gorgeous. It was a smile that said the world was to be greeted with friendliness but held at arm’s length.

‘Goodbye, Shanni,’ he said. ‘Enjoy the party. Harry and I need to go. We’ll see you around.’

We’ll see you around… The words echoed forlornly around the empty railway station and even Louise’s smile faded.

‘Shanni, I’ll be at kindergarten tomorrow,’ Harry said urgently from his safe haven of Nick’s arms. He was trying to keep his precious link with the two of them for as long as possible. ‘And don’t forget Tim Meerkat’s birthday.’