some of the most common infections like the human papilloma virus (this causes genital warts and can lead to cervical cancer) and herpes. If someone is checked, it is usually only for gonorrhea and chlamydia (by putting a small cotton swab into the urethra or taking a urine sample) and for HIV, hepatitis and syphilis (by drawing blood). There are lots of other possible infections for which we don’t or can’t test.
The only 100 percent effective way to avoid infections is not to do the stuff that passes on these infections— and that means NO sexual intercourse, including oral sex.
For people who are having sex, there are ways to help prevent infections and pregnancy. Condoms, which are these little balloonlike things that fit over a guy’s erect penis before it goes in the vagina (also called a “rubber”), will block the sperm from getting inside the vagina. It will also cover most of the penis, so infection doesn’t spread through the skin. Since condoms don’t cover all of the skin around the bottom of the penis or the testicles, they don’t completely prevent the diseases that are passed by skin-to-skin contact. Those infections are the ones that cause things like genital warts, cervical cancer and herpes ulcers. So condoms can’t prevent all infections but they are still very important if you are having sex.
Why use them if they don’t work? They DO work but not 100 percent of the time. For now, if you decide to have sex, condoms are the only thing available that can help reduce the risks of sexually transmitted infections.
Condoms can also help prevent pregnancy, but they are by no means foolproof because they can be used improperly, or they can break or tear. There are other methods of birth control that women and men use to prevent pregnancy. Some types of birth control kill sperm in the vagina (spermicide), some block sperm (condoms, diaphragm), and some prevent a woman from ovulating (birth control pills, shots, patches) or prevent an egg from settling into the endometrium (intrauterine device and other hormonal methods like birth control pills). While birth control helps prevent pregnancy, the only 100 percent effective way to avoid pregnancy is to not have sex. Using birth control requires a lot of self-control and planning, and it can be costly. If you are or plan on having sex, you need a birth control plan, and you should talk to your parents, another adult you trust or your doctor. Don’t just let sex happen without a plan for protecting yourself from unintended pregnancy and infections.
The take-home message: The only 100 percent effective way to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections is to avoid sexual intercourse and other sexual activities that put you at risk. But there are plenty of other things you can do to enjoy a romantic relationship. Stay tuned!
Is That All There Is to It?
Well, kinda sorta. That’s sex in a nutshell, the good and the bad, the nuts and bolts, birds and bees part of it, at least. But as the rest of this book points out, sex is never just the nuts and bolts. It has major emotional, physical and relationship effects—many of which are wonderful, provided you are physically and emotionally mature enough to have sex. And it has the most awesome, amazing power in the world: to create a new life! Girls with Girl Power not only understand the how-to’s of sex, they respect the awesomeness of that tiny little word.
PART THREE
There’s More to Sex!
9
Sexuality:
Good News, Bad News
So girls, here's the scoop: Despite all the rumors and whispers, it's not all about sex! And better yet, you don't have to 'do it' to be sexual or sexy. While we are rumor bashing, we also want to remind you one more time that most young teens do NOT have sexual intercourse. That doesn't mean they aren't sexual.
All people are sexual whether or not they have sex. How can that be? It has to do with this bigger thing called sexuality.
Feeling Sexy?
By now, you know that your body and your brain are going through some major changes. That means you are having some thoughts and feelings that are new to you, and whether you want to admit it or not, some of these feelings are sexual. It’s another one of those things that happens to you. You can’t help it, so don’t freak out when it happens. It’s normal! You are supposed to be having sexual feelings. It’s what you do with those feelings and urges that matters!!!
What types of sexual feelings do young teens have? Mostly you’re probably very curious. You want to know more:• About your body • About other girls’ or boys’ bodies • About sex
You may want to look at pictures or read about sex. You may be attracted to boys or girls in a different way than just friendship. You may feel like you want to hang out with your crush all the time, to hold hands or to kiss.
So What Is It?
Sexuality includes a lot of important stuff: like how comfortable you are with your own body and how you enjoy it; like intimacy, which is physical and emotional closeness with another person; like sexual identity which deals with the way you feel about being female and how it affects you sexually; like the consequences of sex and how prepared you are to deal with all of them; like the use of sex to have power or control over other people.
Sexuality is about more than an action or “doing it,” it’s about values, beliefs, emotions and attitudes. That’s a lot to cover, so let’s break it down.
You Are Sexual Whether You Like It or Not
As we’ve said over and over:Maturing sexually is a major part of being a teenager. It’s a big task. One of the most important things for you to do during this process of maturing is to notice and appreciate the amazing changes that your body is making.
Lots of girls don’t feel good about their bodies. They may buy into all the “beautiful” people advertisements in magazines or on TV that make us think that our bodies should look like Barbie. Do you know how many girls actually have a body like the ones you see in the ads? Less than 1 percent . . . and many of those girls and women are unhealthy. We’ll talk more about the media and how it affects us in chapter 10.
Girls also might have confusing feelings about their body because all these changes are happening so fast and they have NO control over them. Like to be in control? We do! Well, by eating healthy and getting some type of exercise every day, you can have a little more control about how well your body works. Remember, how your body works is so much more important than how it looks.
Horny?!
Now, the way your body works sexually involves more than periods and vaginas and clitorises. That’s just the
