Any time a woman competes with another woman, she demeans herself.

Remember, inside the bedroom as well as outside the bedroom, men are used to women who are insecure, which is all the more reason to be different. You need to exude the attitude that you are confident and that you aren’t concerned with whether you measure up or whether another woman can steal him away.

If the subject of other women comes up, casually throw this into one of your conversations: “If any woman can steal a guy away from me, then she can have him because I wouldn’t want him anymore.” Then smile, take a sip of your wine, and change the subject. “Seen any good movies lately?”

If you don’t trust him, stop seeing him. But until he gives you a reason not to trust him, behave as though you trust him. It will make you look secure with yourself as if you are saying with your actions, “Well, of course, you want to be with me!”

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #31 When there is that undeniable “spark,” there is only one key to the lock.

A quality guy wants to feel trusted because it makes him feel as though you believe in his character. Until he gives you a reason not to trust him, trust him. If he’s falling in love with you, he won’t tell you he wants to be with you exclusively— you’ll automatically know. He’ll be calling you every day and he will insist that you date only him. Because he won’t want anyone else coming near his dreamgirl.

4

Dumb

LIKE A FOX

How to Convince Him He’s in

Control While You Run the Show

“I have an idea that the phrase

‘weaker sex’ was coined by some

woman to disarm the man she was

preparing to overwhelm.”

—OGDEN NASH

The Dumb Fox Handles His Ego with Kid Gloves

In the last chapter we touched on why power is intoxicating to a man in the very same way that romance is intoxicating to a woman. And now… a closer look.

In order to motivate a man to give, he must feel good when he gives. He wants to feel appreciated and revered. Ego is the reason men go to war. It’s the reason they build large corporations. Ego is the reason they stick needles in their butts at the gym before lifting heavy weights. It’s the reason they beg, steal, and borrow. And ego is the reason they fall in love.

The explanation may sound obvious, but it’s not: A man needs to feel “manly.” That’s why he won’t stop to ask for directions. It doesn’t matter if you tell him that six exits ago he was supposed to go west. He’ll still push the pedal to the metal and hightail it in the opposite direction. Men don’t get lost. They merely…

• “Get familiar with another area.”

• “Change destinations.”

• “Look to see what is down another street.”

• “Explore new terrain.”

He’s never lost. No, Inspector Gadget is merely “checking things out” in every last square foot of a 37-mile radius that is outside the intended destination.

If you want him to turn right, tell him “I think it might be to the left.” In a man’s mind, his navigation skills will always be superior to a woman’s. It’s all about his ego, which has no direction and no line of rotation.

The three words guaranteed to turn any man on? “You are right.” You’ll never convince him otherwise, so don’t bother trying.

Let him be right. You be smart. This is precisely the reason the dumb fox lets a man think he’s in control. When you appeal to his feeling of power, you “charge up his batteries.” Then you’re giving him what he needs and he doesn’t even know it.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #32 Let him think he’s in control. He’ll automatically start doing things you want done because he’ll always want to look like “a king” in your eyes.

A couple of times a week when he’s kind or generous, let him know he’s the top dog. Make him feel as though he’s the alpha-dog and the Grand Poo-Bah. He wears the pants, and he is the man. Meanwhile, guess who is getting her way?

My friend Annette learned this the hard way. She made the mistake of telling her new boyfriend about how she had killed a snake in her backyard. He asked her, “How in the world did you kill it?” She went on in detail about how she used a very large shovel to “do battle.” A look of complete and utter horror came over his face as she gave him a graphic play-by-play of the brutal “massacre.” Later that night, he couldn’t get an erection.

An obvious “penile” code infraction: When you act too much like Tarzan, he feels too much like Jane. Don’t even kill a bug when he’s around. Don’t change a tire. In fact, don’t even change a light bulb. (Heaven forbid, sister.)

For any red-blooded male, the feeling that he is the “man” is the ticket. This doesn’t mean that you should be docile all the time. At the same time that you show him you offer him “a mental challenge,” remember that he needs to have his ego stroked. There is a very big difference between catering to his ego and appearing needy. You shouldn’t show that you “need” him to help you with:

• Common sense

• Coping with everyday life

• Emotional stability

• Reassurance of your self-worth

• Self-esteem

• Feeling complete as a person

These things signify neediness. However, you can show that you need and appreciate his masculinity. He’ll absolutely eat out of your hand when he feels that you like his “manliness” or that you admire his… brawn.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #33 When you cater to his ego in a soft way, he doesn’t try to get power in an aggressive way.

Praise is an effective tool in getting him to treat you the way you want. Don’t complain, “Well, you used to bring me flowers.” From this point forward, every bouquet he gives you is the “prettiest you have ever seen.” Don’t complain that he doesn’t take you out enough. Instead, every restaurant he takes you to is “unbelievable” or “amazing.”

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