The Bro Code

ARTICLE 117

A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fool's errand of getting up to manually change the channel.

COROLLARY: It is fully expected a Bro will try anything to gain possession of the remote, up to and including an attempt to flatulently smoke his Bro(s) out of the room.

ARTICLE 118

When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.

ARTICLE 119

When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to put his arm around another Bro to increase space. Likewise, it is unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is equipped with a sidecar… a Brotorcycle.

ARTICLE 120

A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name.

EXCEPTION: If a Bro's last name is also a racial epithet.

ARTICLE 121

Even if he's never skied before, a Bro doesn't trifle with the bunny slope.

COROLLARY: If a Bro experiences a catastrophic wipeout, he can always blame his bindings or the 'conditions.'

ARTICLE 122

A Bro is always psyched. Always.

If you're having trouble getting psyched, or you need to get a Bro psyched, you can always make yourself a 'Get Psyched' mix.

CLASSIC 'GET PSYCHED' SONGS

'You Give Love a Bad Name' — Bon Jovi

'I Wanna Rock' — Twisted Sister

'The Humpty Dance' — Digital Underground

'Don't Stop Believin'' — Journey

'You're the Best Around' — Joe Esposito

'Lick It Up' — KISS

'Paradise City' — Guns N' Roses

'Tom Sawyer' — Rush

'The Transformers Theme' — Vince DiCola with Optimus Prime

'Dancing with Myself' — Billy Idol

'Rock You Like a Hurricane' — Scorpions

'Come Sail Away' — Styx

'Free Bird' (second half only) — Lynyrd Skynyrd

'Panama' — Van Halen

'Jessie's Girl' — Rick Springfield

'Talk Dirty to Me' — Poison

'Thunderstruck' — AC/DC

'High Enough' — Damn Yankees

'Hip Hop Hooray' — Naughty By Nature

'Dr. Feelgood' — Motley Crue

'Round and Round' — Ratt

ARTICLE 123

Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from 'Beat It,' which, I guess, two Bros shouldn't do anyway, or at least not very often.

ARTICLE 124

If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Browling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself

ARTICLE 125

If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro Train, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.