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The Lemon Law may be invoked if, at any point during the initial five minutes (300 seconds) of a first date, either party deems the union union hopeless and elects to abort said date in the interest of time and/or self-respect. Receipt of this card hereby absolve the giver from any 'hard feeling' or 'questions' from the lemon lawyee relevant to the discontinuance of the date, which may be terminated for any reason including, but not limited to: tawdry attire, hrcath, homeliness, misplaced/excessive body-hair, Long Island accent, public school education, bad credit, no credit, suipicious odor (s).
ADDENDA
(I) giver may waive the Lemon Law should lemon lawyee immediately consent to a no-string attached 'stand,' duration of which shall be no longer than one (1) night. (II) the term of this agreement are non-exclusively transferable, in deference to the emergence of the Lemon Lawn as a 'thing.' (III) in the unlikely event of a simultaneous invocation, parties shall enact one (1) 'high five.' with neither party officially assuming credit for the Lemon Law issuance
A Bro can only get a manicure if (a) he's trying to sleep with the hot Asian woman performing the manicure, or (b) it's been longer than a month since his last manicure. It 's called the Bro Code, not the Slob Code.
A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.
When executing a high five, a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers or grasping his Bro's hand.
BROETRY CORNER 'Hai-Five-Ku' One two three four five Raise each one high in the air Smack and release, Bro It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it's still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wrestling[15] to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided, each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.
A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text, or email in a timely fashion.
A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros.
Providing graphic detail when describing a sexual feat unconsciously forces your Bros to picture you naked… and there's no coming back from that.
HOW DETAILED CAN YOU GET? 
If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back.
EXCEPTION: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary-looking guy.
EXCEPTION: If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week.
EXCEPTION: If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody's back.
A Bro doesn't listen to chick music… in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyche, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.
