There was a young lass from Killarney, Who promised a gentleman named Arnie, That she only was his Though a fat lie this is, 'Cause last night she was screaming 'O'Barney'. I was in love with a chick named Pam, Who showed me pics of her fam, Pretty cute cat, But her mom was fat, So I dumped her that night on the tram. Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.
A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/Chick Ratio at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.
BRO/CHICK RATIO vs. LIKELIHOOD OF GETTING ACTION 
A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.
A Bro doesn't grow a mustache.
EXCEPTION: When shaving, it's more than okay for a Bro to keep the whiskers around his mouth until the end so that he might temporarily experiment with different facial hair configurations.
EXCEPTION: Tom Selleck.
A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it's out of state or, like, crazy expensive.
WHEN IS BAIL CRAZY EXPENSIVE? Crazy Expensive Bail > (Years You've Been Bros) x $100
A Bro shall honor thy father and mother, for they were once Bro and chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.
If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.
Chicks seem to think annual events other than Mardi Gras, the NFL Draft, and the day the swimsuit edition comes out are worthy of celebration. I don't know why, either, but I do know if you become involved with a woman for more than the occasional toss in the hay (which is expressly not advised), you'll need to be able to recall certain days of the year with relative accuracy.
DATES THAT CHICKS FIND IMPORTANT 
In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven't purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they 're the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo[9] shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.
