“My life is pain.”
“You’ll get over it.”
She surprised him by grinning and started to talk about her classes.
As they chatted over lunch, he found himself enjoying their time together more than he would have expected. She was smart and funny. She used her hands when she talked. The light caught a small scar on the side of her arm.
When had she hurt herself? What had happened? Had she needed stitches? Despite their easy conversation now, he didn’t know very much about her. She was his daughter and practically a stranger.
“Earth to Dad,” she said. “Are you still on this planet?”
“Sorry. I was thinking.”
“About…”
“That I should know you better.”
Unexpected tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t think you wanted to.”
“I do.”
She smiled and brushed her fingers against her cheeks. “Me, too.”
His chest felt funny. Tight. As if it couldn’t contain all the emotions he had inside. He wanted to get up and leave because all this caring wasn’t who he was. Except he didn’t want to hurt Kendra. He’d never been interested in being her father…at least not until now.
“How’s Lexi?” she asked. “I thought maybe she’d come to lunch. What? Why do you look like that?”
“Like what?”
“What happened?”
He thought about the empty house. “Nothing happened.”
Kendra covered her face with her hands, then glared at him. “No, no, no. Tell me you didn’t break up with her. Da-ad. She’s great. You can’t tell her I said that, but she is. I really like her. I thought you guys got along. Why would you break up with her?”
“I didn’t. She left.”
“Because you did something.”
He’d been a jerk and a fool. He’d lost her. “It’s over.”
“Does it have to be? Can’t you take it back?”
Take back the deal? Tell her he wanted something permanent? That she was the first woman he could see waking up with every day?
“There are complications.”
She slumped in her seat. “Adults always say that but what it really means is they messed up and they don’t want to admit it. Tell her you’re sorry. Tell her you’ll never do it again.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“It can be. It worked with me.”
That made him touch the back of her hand. “You were willing to give me a break.”
“So’s Lexi. Dad, I’m serious. You have to listen to me. She’s special. Don’t let her get away. Go see her.”
He’d planned to, anyway. “I will.”
“Today. Now.”
“I’m going to wait until we’re done with lunch.”
She studied him. “Then you’ll go over and see her? You promise?”
“Yes.” “And you’ll make it right?” “I’ll try.” “Try hard.”
CRUZ KNOCKED ON Lexi’s door shortly after four that afternoon. She’d been expecting him, knowing he would want an explanation. The problem was she still didn’t know what to say. The truth? It made sense to tell him she loved him and hey, was pregnant with his child, but could that conversation have a happy ending? Did she really want her heart ripped out? Or was it better to get it over with, face the pain and move on?
If only life came with margin notes.
He looked good, she thought as she opened the door. He was gorgeous in a suit, but in jeans and a T-shirt, he made every part of her body whimper.
She’d always wanted him, had always been able to let go sexually. But feeling the earth move didn’t make a relationship. At least not in the long term.
She stood back to let him enter, then closed the door behind him and followed him into her living room.
He didn’t sit.
“I got your check and the ring,” he said. “Your way of ending things?”
She nodded. “I wasn’t in the mood to write a note.”
“I’m sorry about that night. About Sabrina. I shouldn’t have danced with her, shouldn’t have let her kiss me. It didn’t mean anything. I swear.” He paced to the window, then turned back. “There’s a classic guy’s line. In this case, it’s true.”
“I know.”
“She’s an old girlfriend. I’m not interested. I wasn’t interested.”
“I know.”
He moved toward her. “You believe me?”
She nodded. “It just happened. I’m not saying dancing with an old girlfriend, then kissing her, is the way to make your engagement a happy time. But I know it wasn’t…important. What I don’t know is why. Were you trying to make me jealous?”
“I was trying to clear my head.” He shoved his hands into his front pockets. “That night I realized something. What we have together. It’s more than a business arrangement. We’re good together. We’re a team. You’re what I’m looking for. We like being with each other. The sex is great. What if we made the deal permanent?”
She told herself he wasn’t trying to hurt her. That he didn’t know everything that was going on and his words were meant to make her feel better. But she hurt everywhere. She ached for the loss, for the fantasy that he could get over his past and be willing to love someone. Love her.
“We’d get married?” she asked, not sure why she was torturing herself.
“Whenever you’d like,” he said. “You’re already living in the house…or you were. You like Kendra and she’s crazy about you. I had lunch with her today and she was asking about you. Come on, Lexi. It makes sense. We’re good together.”
“What about being in love? What if you meet someone?”
“I don’t want anyone but you.” He smiled and touched her cheek.
That should have been enough, she thought sadly. Maybe it would have been, if he’d been someone else and she hadn’t fallen in love with him.
It would be so easy to give in. To say yes, to accept a pretty half-life where she
“I can’t play this game anymore,” she told him.
“I don’t want to, either. I want to marry you.”
“But you don’t love me.”
He dropped his hand. “Lexi, why do we have to go there?”
Because
“I love you, Cruz. I have for a long time. Maybe from the first moment we met. You asked me why you were my first time. I hadn’t planned that night. It just happened. Because when we kissed, I knew I wanted to be with you forever.”
He stiffened and moved back. She kept talking because it was finally time to tell the truth.
“The next morning I was so happy. You’d made the night perfect. I had all these plans and fantasies. But you couldn’t scramble away fast enough. I was devastated, but rather than admit that, I held on to my Titan pride and told you that girls like me didn’t date guys like you. I would rather have had you hate me than pity me.”
“Lexi, don’t.”
“Don’t what? Tell the truth? Expose myself? Because that’s what scares you the most, isn’t it? The
