go away, to convince him everything’s fine, and someone’s
knocking and he has a deep voice and I don’t know what I will
do when I reach the door or who it is on the outside or what
will happen; but I’m hurt; dizzy; reeling; can’t feel anything
but some obscure pain somewhere next to me or across the
room and I don’t know what he’s done, I don’t look at any part
o f me, I cover m yself a little with a sheet, I pull it over me and I
don’t look down, I have trouble keeping m y head steady on
m y shoulders, I don’t know if I can walk from the bed to the
door, and I think I can open the door maybe and just keep
walking but I am barely covered at all and maybe the gang’s
outside and you can’t walk naked in a sheet, they’ll just hurt
you more; anyone will. I can’t remember and I can barely
carry m y head up and I have this one chance; because I can’t
have him do more; you see? I got up, I put something around
me, over me, a sheet or something, just held it together where
I could, and I took some steps and I kept whispering to the
man with the knife in m y bed that I would just get rid o f the
man at the door because he wouldn’t go away if I didn’t come
to the door and really I would just make him go aw ay and I
kept walking to the door to open it, not knowing if I would fall
or if the man in the bed would stick the knife in me before I got
there, or who was on the other side o f the door and what he
would do; would he run or laugh or walk away; or was it a
member o f the gang, wanting some. It was cool and clear and
light outside and it was a man I didn’t know except a little, a
big man, so tall, so big, such a big man, and I whispered to him
to help me, please help me, and I talked out loud that I couldn’t
come out now for breakfast like we had planned and I
whispered to say that I was hurt and that the man inside was a
leader o f a gang and I indicated the big knife on the w indow
ledge, out o f m y reach, a huge dagger, almost a sword, that I
had got the man to leave outside and I whispered that he was in
m y bed now with a knife and out loud I tried to say normal
things very loud but I was dizzy and I wasn’t sure I could keep
standing and the big man caught on quick and said normal
things loud, questions so I could answer them and didn’t have
to think o f new things because I’m shaking and I say the m an’s
in m y bed with a knife and please help me he was with a gang
and I don’t know where they are and maybe they’re around
and they’ll show up and it’s dangerous but please help me and
the big man strides in, he doesn’t take the big knife, I almost
die from fear but he just does it, I used m y chance and there’s
none left, he has long legs and they cover the distance to the
bed in a second and the man in m y bed is fumbling with the
knife and the big man, so big, with long legs, says I’m his; his
girl; his; this is an insult to him; an outrage to him; and the man
in the bed with the knife says nothing, he grovels, he sweats,
