“I’ve to go to work,” I say, forcing myself to think of the long-term goal, not some short-term gratification. In truth, I must get out of here before I blow it big time.
She frowns. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to. And I kinda do have to, it’s Saturday and they’re going to be so busy. They are all working so hard to compensate for you not being there, I have to help them…I want to help you.”
She blushes and smiles appreciatively. I feel like I have an opportunity while it’s congenial between us, so I swallow hard and ask.
“I was going to grab something to eat before I start. Do you want to come down and join me?” I feel sick from the anxiety and emotion of the last hour and eating is the last thing I want to do, but I can’t waste a chance like this and I also can’t work the next eight hours on only the cereal I ate this morning. She hasn’t replied so I look at her hopefully.
‘I’m not hungry, but I’ll have a coffee,” she says, with only a slight reluctance. I can’t believe my luck and don’t waste any time offering her a hand standing. I suffer through the rigmarole of her descending the stairs, but think better of offering to help this time. I feel great about how things have gone today, we are definitely on the right track.
I decide on a sandwich in the hope I can force it down and I give my order to Jake. He raises his eyebrows when he notices my companion and offers me an encouraging smile. I pat his back and laugh, heading out to make the coffees. Max has joined Liv when I get to the coffee machine, they look deep in hushed conversation, so I decide to leave them to it for a moment and glance at my watch. This is the perfect time to call Jen.
“Danny!” She greets me warmly. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Cursing me for the mess I’ve left you to clean up, no doubt.” I laugh. “How are you?”
“I’m good thanks. How are you though?”
“I’m great, really great!” I tell her with a huge grin. “I just saw her and we talked…she believes me, Jen!”
“Oh, Danny, that’s fantastic news, I’m so happy for you. You remember to take it slow though.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to blow it. How are things there?”
“It’s all done. Scott is over there with your dad now, they're just moving the bed over to his place, it’s the last thing. Your cleaning lady is coming Monday morning and I hand the keys back Monday afternoon. That’s it.”
“And my stuff?”
“It went Thursday, should be a couple of weeks. I’ll email you the documents. They'll transfer it to your storage facility when it arrives, they’ll contact you to arrange that. You just have to sign.”
“I owe you one, Jen. I don’t know how I would have got through this without you.” I smile at the love I feel for my friend. I still hope to be able to repay her one day, but that can’t be my focus right now.
“Just be happy, Danny, that’s all I want,” she says softly.
“I know. Thanks.”
“Did the transfer arrive?”
“I don’t know, I’ve had a full-on couple of days, I didn’t check. Should it be there?”
“Yes, yesterday. You should check on that, it’s a lot of money.”
“Yes, Mom! I’m sure it’s fine.” I laugh. “Will you thank Dad for me, he drives a hard bargain. Tell him I’ll call him soon.”
“I will. He has listed the truck, but that might take a while to sell.”
“I don’t care about that, whenever is fine.” I say, glancing back towards the diner door. “Listen Jen, I should go, Liv is waiting for me.”
“Go then! What are you doing talking to me?” She laughs. “Love you.”
“Love you too.” I smile as the line goes dead. It’s all falling into place I think as I sit staring into space. Shit, Liv! I jump up and head in.
Both Liv and my sandwich are waiting when I get in and I order us two coffees before I sit in the seat opposite her.
“Sorry, I saw you were talking to Max and I didn’t want to intrude, so I called Jen.”
“How is she?” she asks.
“She’s great, she’s always great.” I smile. “She’s been really supportive, you know?” Liv nods, understanding.
My hunger has returned now that the mood has lightened and I take a bite of my sandwich as we sit together in comfortable silence. We have a lot of work to do, well, I do. But at last I feel like it will eventually be okay. Who knows, maybe it will be better, especially if we take our time. I smile to myself as I chew. Liv speaks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Has someone sorted out what we are paying you?” she asks, all business.
I frown, dropping my sandwich on my plate and my buoyant mood comes crashing down with it. I stare at her, hoping to find some sign that she is joking, but she isn’t. “I don’t want your money.” I’m suddenly angry, offended.
“But if you’re working here, which I’m assured you are, every single day, then you have to be paid for it like everyone else,” she says. She possibly doesn’t mean any malice but she sounds so cold. I’m left reeling.
“I’m not 'working here', I’m helping out and I’m not taking a cent for it.” I can’t believe this.
“But you need money, Danny, how are you living?” Her tone borders on concern, but I hardly notice in my fury.
“I’m fine.”
“What about your work, aren’t you supposed to be flat out with that right now?”
“I have time for both.”
“I can’t have you giving up your time for nothing.”
“It’s not for nothing Liv, why can’t you see that?” My frustration gets the better of me as I raise my voice.
“But…” she begins, but I cut her off.
“Forget it, Liv, I’m not taking your money.” I grab my half-eaten sandwich on its plate and storm into the kitchen. I slam the remains of my food in the bin in frustration and crash around. I grip the edge of the counter and pause for a moment, breathless. I drop my head and breathe deeply. It’s going to be like this for a while I remind myself. I should expect disagreements and misunderstandings while we readjust our boundaries. I can’t fly off the handle if I want her to forgive me and let me back in. I stand up and straighten myself out, snapping myself out of my dark mood. She has just said she still loves me, this is not the time to lose it.
She still loves me…She still loves me…She still loves me…this is my mantra.
I make my way back to her, but my face falls when I find the booth empty. I rub my face. Fucking, stupid asshole! I kick myself for ruining it.
She still loves me…why am I ruining it?
I double back hoping to find her somewhere and slam straight into her, knocking her off her feet. My arms fly around her instantly and I catch her before she falls. I pause, breathing hard, our bodies pressed together and our faces so close. I’m holding every inch of her tight against me and the feeling is incredible. I could just lean forward a couple of inches and our lips would touch.
She still loves me…don’t push it.
I shake my head, not yet, I remind myself and gently stand her back up, releasing her once she is balanced. “Shit, sorry,” I murmur regaining my senses. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” I suddenly panic, scanning her up and down for some sign that I’ve caused her harm.
“I’m fine,” she breathes.
“I didn’t know where you were.” I offer as a feeble explanation.
She gestures at the counter, where two coffees are sitting, waiting. “Everyone was busy, I made us coffee. Can’t carry them though.” She shrugs and passes me, returning to the booth. I grab them and follow her.
“You shouldn’t be doing that, get someone else to do it for you, it’s what you pay them for.” I frown then smile a tight smile, realising the irony of my point.
“I’m perfectly capable of standing up long enough to make a coffee.” She scoffs. “Besides, I’m not paying you, so I couldn’t ask you to do it now could I?”
