Carmen’s breath caught, and she clutched at the hem of her shirt. Hearing those words, hearing the depth of emotion in Ash’s voice, made her flash hot and cold and want to shout for joy all at the same time.
“And you’re exploring all these new feelings, and together that just scared the crap out of me. I’m still scared, to be honest. I don’t want my heart to get broken any more than anyone else does. But I can’t fight what I feel for you. I tried, and it got me nowhere.” Ash’s hands twisted together on the table. “I’m not proud of trying to deny how I felt, but I honestly thought I was doing the right thing to protect myself from getting hurt. And instead, I hurt you.”
Carmen nodded. “You did. I won’t lie about that. But you being here now, that definitely helps.” She managed a small smile but didn’t rush to touch Ash or hold her. Ash’s posture, rigid and tense, told her she still had more to say.
“I know this isn’t easy for you. I know you’ve got a lot of things to still figure out. But I want you to know this—I am in this as far as it is humanly possible to get.” Ash held her gaze, her eyes expressing such a depth of emotion that Carmen’s heart began to pound. “I…I’ve missed you so much. Missed being with you and talking to you and knowing that you were a part of my life. Please, can you forgive me? Can we try again? Because I’ve honestly never wanted anything more in my life than a second chance with you.” Ash swept a hand through her fringe as it flopped down her forehead, and Carmen’s insides melted a little at the familiar gesture.
The sincerity of every word Ash had spoken shone like a beacon in the room. And the depth of feeling in Ash’s expression—of genuine regret, tenderness, and want—told Carmen just as much as those words had. She knew Ash wouldn’t be here now, saying everything she’d said, if she didn’t truly want this. Want them and want them more than she wanted to protect herself. This, Carmen knew, was the biggest leap for Ash, and that more than anything told her what her response should be.
“Yes.” Her voice struggled to work its way past the lump in her throat.
Ash shuddered as if she’d just dropped a great weight off her shoulders, and she reached out a hand.
Carmen took it and held it tightly. She smiled as Ash stared back at her. “Yes,” Carmen said again. “Because I’m falling for you too, and I don’t want to waste another minute not being with you.” She stood, tugging Ash with her, and they stepped towards each other.
Then Ash’s arms were around her, and Ash’s lips pressed against her own. Everything fell back into place, right where it should be.
Chapter 37
The next evening Ash was a mix of nerves and excitement as she waited in her flat, lights turned down low, some classical music emanating from her laptop on the coffee table. It was past nine, and Carmen was on her way over for a late supper.
Turning up at Carmen’s office and spilling her heart out had been nerve-wracking and thrilling all at the same time. Holding Carmen once more, tasting those sweet lips, had been like coming home; a contentment she’d never known had washed over her as she pulled Carmen tight against her body.
Today they were starting over, this time with no holding back. She was all in now. To hell with fear.
The doorbell chimed, and Ash leaped up to open the door to Carmen, who smiled shyly at her as she stepped into the flat.
“Hey.” Ash didn’t hesitate and didn’t hold back. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Carmen.
Carmen moaned softly and pressed closer, slipping her arms behind Ash’s neck and pulling her down to meet her lips.
They kissed for who knew how long. Long enough for Ash’s heart to start a rapid racing and for her arousal to climb to new heights.
“Hi,” Carmen said when she eventually pulled back.
Ash smiled. “Hi yourself.” She stepped back. “Come on in.”
Carmen dropped her bag by the door and kicked off her shoes.
The small gestures of comfort, at feeling at home enough to do so, made deliciously warm sensations squirm in Ash’s belly.
“Quick tour?” Ash gestured with open arms.
“Yes, please.” Carmen took her hand, and it felt so perfect, Ash had to swallow back the emotions that rose up.
She led Carmen around the small flat. “Main room, which, as you can see, is living room, dining area, and kitchen all in one.”
“I love all the photos on the walls.” Carmen gazed around her. “All the places you’ve been?”
“Pretty much. None from the Kruger trip yet. I’ve been a little distracted and haven’t found time to print them.” Ash grinned.
Carmen chuckled. “I can’t think what you mean.” She leaned up and kissed Ash softly.
Her heart full, Ash continued the tour. “That’s the bathroom.” She pointed to the relevant door. “And that, um, is the bedroom.”
Carmen peeked around the door. “Lovely.” When she turned back to Ash, she was blushing. “It’s a cute place, and I like how it feels.”
“Good. So, drink? I have wine, beer, juice—”
“Camomile tea?”
“It just so happens I did buy some.” She tugged Carmen after her to the kitchen.
“Just for me?”
“Yes.”
“That’s very sweet.”
Ash turned to look at Carmen.
Her face was flushed and her eyes misty.
“You okay?” Ash asked.
Carmen visibly swallowed. “Very. And so relieved.”
Ash sighed and squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry I put you through all that.”
“It’s okay. You were scared. We all do things differently when we’re scared. Trust me; I’ve still got some things to face up to in all of this too.” Carmen grimaced. “For example,
