Jack interjected, "I never thought about howwriting the book would affect Liza." Elizabeth wasn't sure shewanted Jack defending her, but she wanted—no needed—to hear histake on it. He continued. "Sally, my agent, and I had been talkingabout writing this kind of novel for my next project. I was holedup here trying to write something. Then, Liza showed up, prettymuch frozen to death. Obviously writing took a backseat thatweekend, but after she left, I couldn't get away from the idea ofthe long-lost love showing up out of the blue."
"So, you admit then that you loved her?" Ofcourse, that was what Nancy picked up on.
"I wouldn't say that. What Liza and I had wascomplicated, but can probably best be described as poor timing.Anyway, the thought was there, and I just ran with it. I hadalready done all this research on the BDSM lifestyle, but I hadn'tfigured out how to tell the story in a new way. Then, thinkingabout Liza, I knew I wanted to set the story on the backdrop of anestablished suburban mother who uses it as an escape. I knew allabout the one lifestyle, but I didn't know about the other, whichis where you came into play. When I first asked for your Facebookaccess, I was just trying to see what kinds of things the averagesuburban mom talked about. But as I was writing the Nelliecharacter, I couldn't get Liza out of my head. When I picturedNellie, I saw Liza. I realized that you were friends on Facebook,and I felt like I had hit the jackpot when I realized I could seeher pictures. It was like a gold mine for me. I had been havingtrouble describing Nellie and finding the right setting. Thepictures were my inspiration."
"They weren't inspiration. You described themexactly." Elizabeth was still creeped out and pissed off byit.
"I didn’t think that anyone would pay that muchattention."
"Jesus, Jack, even if anyone believed in me,those descriptions put the nails in my coffin. People remembered mebeing at those events, and wearing those clothes. They just assumethat I snuck off with you. No one has even bothered to think aboutwho I am and whether or not I would do something like that." Shetook a deep breath and then continued. "And I'm in adamned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation now. I can't defendmyself. If I do, people will think that I'm acting to try and saveface."
" 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks.'"
"Exactly. But if I say nothing, then it's aconfirmation. I can't do anything. I'm completely and totallyscrewed no matter what I do."
"I guess I didn’t think about that."
Nancy interjected, rising to Elizabeth'sdefense. "Obviously not. You never think about these things, Jack.You're so impulsive sometimes."
"You didn't used to think it was a badthing."
Elizabeth stood up. "Okay, I think that's mycue to leave." She put her beer bottle, still mostly full, on theend table and started toward the door.
"Elizabeth, wait! We still have some, um,things to discuss."
"No, Jack, I don't think I have anything leftto say to you."
"You may not have anything to say to me, but Ihave a lot to say to you. And you need to hear me out. After that,you can never speak to me again."
Nancy called out to John. "Good-bye J.P. I'llbe in touch with you about the arrangements for next weekend.Elizabeth." She nodded curtly, and headed out through thekitchen.
Elizabeth sat back down and took another drink.She didn't want to hear Jack out. She didn't want to hear what hadactually happened that weekend. She knew that they had kissed. Sheremembered his lips on hers, holding her tightly, standing in frontof the fire. Had she kissed him, or had he kissed her? Did itactually matter? Was kissing cheating? She closed her eyes and tooka deep breath. Yes, it was. To her it was. She would consider itcheating if Peter had kissed someone else. That thought amused her.Peter was not a big kisser, much to Elizabeth's chagrin. She couldnot picture him kissing anyone else. She wondered if he couldpicture her kissing someone else. Elizabeth couldn't believe shehad cheated on Peter. She couldn't believe she didn't remember it.Dammit. She was not any better than the woman in the book. All ofher righteous indignation at the talk in town was certainlymisplaced. Good thing Peter had already left her. She deservedit.
Jack came back in the room. He sat down in thearmchair opposite Elizabeth on the couch. She couldn't bear thesuspense any longer. "Did we sleep together?"
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: August 26,2012
"Yes."
Elizabeth's face fell. She couldn't believe shewould do something like that. It was so out of character for her.How could she have done it? Why couldn't she rememberit?
"But not in the way you think."
She sat up straight. "What do you mean? Willyou just tell me what happened?" She was losingpatience.
"We had been sitting on the couch talking forquite a while. You had told me about your marriage and how unhappyyou were. What had brought you to the desperation of wanting to liedown in the cold and never get up."
"Yeah, I remember that part."
"It was pretty late. You stood up to go getanother drink. I think I realized that you probably didn't need anymore to drink, because you couldn't really stand up. I stood upbehind you to tell you to get some water instead. You were wrappedin my big fuzzy blanket, and you tripped on it."
"I thought it was funny." She was slowlyremembering.
"Yeah, you couldn't stop laughing. I hadgrabbed you to steady you. And I couldn't resist it anymore. Youlooked so beautiful, laughing so hard tears were starting to falldown your cheeks. And so I kissed you. I knew I shouldn't have, butI just couldn't not. We sat down on the couch and kissed for alittle while. Hands may have wandered. But then you stopped me. Youtold me that you couldn't do that to your husband, no matter howmuch you wanted to."
"I stopped you?"
"Unfortunately, you did. I went into thekitchen to get you some water and Advil, and to cool off for alittle while.
