He left me to clean up but was back quickly. He climbed back into bed, pulling me back on top of him as he did. He kissed my neck, but not with the same need as earlier. “So, what did you want to talk about?”
“I was wondering if last night helped you or if it made things worse. I also wanted to know if Kait helped you with the nightmare.”
He sighed. “I think last night helped and made it worse at the same time, although I don’t know how that could be. I love that we made you feel like that, and it didn’t bother me at the time, but the more I think about it, the worse I feel. I will be able to work it out eventually in my mind, but right now, I can’t. And, no, Kait wasn’t able to help me with the nightmare because the man is an unfeeling freak!” He was breathing hard as he put his arm over his eyes. “I don’t mean that. He just is so frustrating. He’s all ‘we need to talk about how it made you feel’. I don’t want to talk; I just want to go on with my life.”
I stared into space a minute while I thought about my next words. “David, I’ve been where you are. I understand what you are feeling.” I paused for a second. “But, ignoring traumatic events does not help. In the long run, it hurts, and it will come back to haunt you when you least expect it. I didn’t have an option when I was younger to go to therapy for the abuse I suffered. Now, I have trouble doing what I want to do with you all because of it.” I surreptitiously wiped at an eye that was tearing up for no reason. “You need to talk to someone. If not Kait, then a licensed therapist.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, ‘cause a therapist won’t turn me into the police for killing a man.”
“I’m sure there are Shadoewynne therapists that could help.”
“I’m done talking about this, Evalia.”
“Fine. But don’t think I won’t bring it up again, because I will. One way or another, you will make your peace with what happened.”
He took my face in his hands and slowly pulled me down to his face. His lips were brushing mine as he said, “That goes for you, too. You need to make your peace with your past, so we can move on to the future. I want very much what you want to do as well.”
I froze. That wasn’t fair of him. There was no way I could talk to anyone of them about it, and there was no therapist around. He chuckled. “Not so easy, is it?”
“David, you can talk to Kait. Who am I going to talk to? I know you and Kait saw some of what happened, but that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable talking about it. I may never be.”
“That’s fine.” He closed the minuscule gap between us, kissing me slowly. The kiss deepened, but he was keeping it slow. A few minutes later, a knock on the door had us reluctantly separating. David cleared his throat before calling out, “Come in.”
His fingers tightened on my hips, preventing me from moving off him, which is what I wanted to do. The door opened, and Travis came in.
“Kait has reached his second-in-command and wants us all in the room for the debriefing. He’s got him on speaker in the living room. Come on.”
David let me go so I could get up. He adjusted his pants before he stood up. Travis held out a hand for mine, and David grabbed my other hand. We walked to the living room like that.
We entered the living room quietly, taking places around the speaker. It wasn’t very long before I had completely zoned out, though. All this army talk was over my head, and so boring. I thought about the conversation I had just had with David, and he had some good points. Maybe I should talk to someone about what happened. I thought I had put it all behind me, but it was obvious I wasn’t over it.
Eventually, Kait closed out the call, and turned to us. “Princess, if you weren’t going to pay attention, you didn’t have to come in here.”
I smiled at him. “I didn’t think I had a choice. It’s not that I was deliberately not paying attention. You were using all the acronyms and terms that I don’t really understand. I figured you would give me my assignment when you were ready.”
He put his hands on his hips. “Yes, but…”
“There’s no but, Kait. What do you want me to do?”
He sighed. “Like I said, you will organize the reports. Here is a computer to collate the reports into something that is easier for me to scan for information. I will work with you, but Travis and David also know the acronyms and most of the military terms. They will help you. We do not want to leave this house unless absolutely necessary.”
I saluted him, stifling a giggle as I did so. He glared at me for a second. “We need to talk, just you and me. Now. Out, Boys.”
David made a “oooo” sound under his breath as he walked by me. I raised an eyebrow. He mouthed ‘you’re in trouble’. I shook my head. I had a feeling I knew what this was about, and if David had been paying attention, he would too.
They left the room, shutting the door behind themselves. Kait leaned his butt against the table the speaker was on, as he crossed his arms
