“I’ll certainly think about it,” I promised easily. Before he had a chance to reply or say anything else, the doors to the rink fell open, a crowd of kids piling in. “Ah! I’ve overstayed my welcome with all the chatting,” I joked. Usually, I was out before the kids arrived, not that I minded.
Especially not when I could wait and see how long it took them to realize who I was.
A large group intake of breath later, I had my answer!
I waited, curious to see who would break the silence. It held for a long moment, making me wonder if Coach was going to have to step in and make the introductions. But then one form broke from the group, dashing across the ice and skidding to a stop just in front of me.
Ethan’s eyes were wide as he looked up at me, but the intense desire to seem cool was written across every feature. “Hey, Sam,” he greeted, managing to only squeak a little. “Are you here to watch us play? Can I introduce you to everyone?”
He waved a hand to the group behind him. “These are my friends. They’re pretty great.”
“I’m sure Sam’s busy, Ethan,” Coach James pointed out. Ethan’s face fell. He looked a lot like Kate, but he had Helena’s eyes. And if there was one thing I could never say no to, it was that sad look Helena got. Ethan might not know it, but he was using it well.
Shaking my head, I gave Coach a smile. “No, it’s okay. I’d love to have Ethan introduce me to everyone. And I’ll stay for a bit of their training if that’s okay?”
Coach gave a small shrug, “I don’t really care,” he commented. “The kids will love it.” And from the way Ethan was now beaming at me, I could tell they would.
“Come on then, introduce me to everyone!” I told Ethan as we both skated over to the group.
There were questions on topics varying from what it was like to play for the NHL to what my favorite color was. I did my best to answer all of them until Coach James finally ushered the kids to start training. I stayed for a bit, helping out. It felt nice. Nice enough that it made me think about offering Sloan, our kids’ team’s coach, some help. It’d be a good way to figure out if this was something I could one day do.
In the end, it turned out to be a great afternoon. When I was finally getting off the ice, it was to leave a bunch of kids very excited.
Chapter Eighteen
Helena
The days after the wedding felt like coming back to earth with a thud. A hard thud. So much of my mind had been taken up with helping Charlotte prepare, I hadn’t even realized how I was fitting everything else in around it.
Without wedding prep to occupy them, my thoughts were suddenly free to fly. And they wheeled around restlessly, flocking to where I least wanted them to land.
Sam. Suddenly, my mind was full of Sam. And especially, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he was leaving. Leaving, again.
It shouldn’t have felt the same. Last time, Sam moving to Utah had been the nail in the coffin of our relationship. But this time around, there was no relationship. My feelings shouldn’t have been involved!
But they were. Even before he left, I was missing him. Missing the steady companionship of having him back in my life. I would even miss how my heart lurched around him.
His kiss lingered on my lips. My brain constantly replayed the image of him stripping off to join me in the water. Nothing had happened - but not because I hadn’t wanted it to!
Tapping at my desk, I forced myself to review all of the reasons our relationship hadn’t worked. Not because we were incompatible, no, but because our lives were.
And our lives still were. I couldn’t move to Utah now any more than I’d been able to ten years ago.
Finally, I decided that there was nothing else for it. Sam and I needed to talk. Even knowing that nothing could come of it, there was a conversation we needed to have, so we could both be on the same page.
Then, surely, letting him go would feel a little easier?
Determination carried me all the way to Sam’s door. But faced with the familiar Levesque family home, something crumbled inside me. It was just so unfair that I had to bring this relationship to a close twice in one lifetime!
With tears stinging my eyes, I was ready to flee.
Before I could, the door heaved open and Sam stood blinking at me in surprise.
“Oh. Um. Hi.” Not the sophisticated greeting I had planned.
“Helena,” he said with a small frown. “You need help with writing a wedding speech?” he asked in that same tone. The seriousness made me give a sudden giggle. It surprised even me. The nervousness I had been feeling shifted lower in my stomach.
Stepping aside, Sam let me in. “Mom and dad are out for dinner, but you’re probably not here to see them? I mean, maybe you are? Are you here to see my mom? She’ll be back in a few hours.” We walked through to the kitchen and like a good host, Sam offered me a drink.
“No, I would call before I came to see your mom.” Maybe that was the more sensible thing to have done. After all, Sam could have been out! But my determination had taken hold
