His lips parted, welcoming my tongue in. It made our kiss go from soft to so much more. If I had thought that the kiss we’d shared at Pat and Charlotte’s house had been good, it had nothing on this. Pleasure and passion exploded through me.
Tiptoeing, I leaned into Sam as much as I could. He slid his hand up my back, holding me close while also somehow managing to push me against one of his parents’ kitchen counters.
That thought made me give a sudden giggle. We were making out in Sam’s parents’ kitchen! Just like we had as teenagers. That was funny.
“You’re thinking about how we did this at sixteen, aren’t you?” Sam muttered into the kiss, not taking any steps back. I could feel his hot breath against my lips and all it did was make me want to kiss him again.
The way he knew what I was thinking without me saying a word made my whole body ache. How could we be so perfect for each other, even after all this time?
“Uh huh,” I muttered, letting the counter take my weight as I focused my attention on nibbling Sam’s lower lip in the way I knew he loved. At least, he’d loved it when I did it at eighteen. I assumed that hadn’t changed.
One big hand settled on my hip, angling my body better. I bit back a moan, electricity coursing through my veins.
Our kisses alternated between passionate and very soft and sweet. It was like our bodies were trying to make up for lost time, to fit in all varieties of kisses. There were so many things this couldn’t be, but maybe we could give in a little bit. It would still hurt, I felt like we both knew that to be true. But at least we could have a little bit of this, right?
When I rocked against Sam, my soft moans mixed with Sam’s groans and our lips met again, tongues dancing together until we parted breathlessly. Running a hand over Sam’s back, I tried to pull him in closer, if that was even possible. His body felt so perfect against mine and I wanted more. Or maybe, I wanted it for longer. It was hard to tell the difference, if there truly was one when it came to us.
After another deep kiss, Sam left a trail of smaller ones against my jaw. “You’ve always felt so good against me,” he breathed. Even our thoughts and feelings were perfectly aligned.
The rush of confidence made my head spin. Knowing that I felt as good to Sam as he did to me urged me to be bolder. I slipped my hands under Sam’s shirt, mapping the ridges of muscle that had developed since the last time I’d had my hands on him.
“Wow,” I breathed, unable to help myself. Sam had been built before, but this was even more intense. My lips fastened against the pulse point in his neck, my tongue roving over the skin to savor the taste of him.
Part of me knew we shouldn’t be doing this. But the bigger part of me wanted to save this memory forever. If I couldn’t have Sam, at least I could keep the feeling of him in my heart.
And from how Sam leaned into me, making my hand slide higher over his chest, I was pretty sure he wanted that, too. Sam’s hand, too, made it under my shirt, fingers just lightly skirting over the skin it exposed. There was electricity sparking between us, energy that I was sure I hadn’t felt in years. Possibly not since Sam.
But that just reminded me how much I couldn’t have this.
“What?” Sam asked, pulling back to give me a look. “Is making out in my parents’ kitchen just a bit too much?” he questioned, a smile playing on his lips. I knew so certainly that if I said it was, Sam would stop. And that just made me want this more. Want him more.
What would Sam say, I wondered, if I suggested we move things upstairs? The words tingled on the tip of my tongue, the reckless part of me wanting to let them fly free. It would be so easy to let myself get lost in Sam.
But it wouldn’t be fair. Not to either one of us.
Pulling back, I did my best to straighten my clothes, wishing I could ignore the way my whole body flushed with desire.
“We can’t do this.” I hated that, once again, it was me that had to be the one to say this wasn’t possible. Once again, my better judgment had to hurt us both.
The tears welled in my eyes once more. This time, when Sam reached to brush them away, I stepped aside. Putting the kitchen counter between us, my chest heaved.
“What’s the point, Sam? It won’t change anything!” And being together once would just make it hurt all the more when we had to go our separate ways. “You’re leaving in, what, a few days? We have to be sensible!”
“Sensible,” Sam repeated, like he didn’t quite understand the word. But I knew he did. I knew that if I said that, Sam wouldn’t push. Even if maybe I wanted him to. The conflicting thoughts in my head felt physically painful. The desire I felt for Sam so strong, but we couldn’t do this.
A night of passion just wasn’t worth the hurt I’d feel after. The way I’d miss Sam. I had already gone through all of that once! I couldn’t do it again. And the longer I stood here, in Sam’s parents’ kitchen, the more I just wanted to kiss him again.
But this couldn’t be.
So I needed to leave.
It took all my will to force my feet
