That was about when every started shouting all at once. Marco cursed a blue streak and alternately pounded on Odom then Queezleyan. Which affected neither at all. The Sapphire Witch was shouting something about being a free and independent witch. Larry wailed Rachel’s name over and over.
Hilario briefly contemplated wrenching the gun from Marco’s hand and shooting himself in the head.
But with his luck, the bullet would bounce around his skull and just give him a migraine.
Not that he didn’t have one already.
Besides, he had a city to save. Somehow.
And a dead friend who needed to get the heckity heck out of his van and into a proper afterlife.
Hilario swiveled his seat toward the melee. Jerked back as a lightning bolt sizzled past his nose and bounced off Odom’s forehead.
“Stop!” Hilario shouted.
Everyone stopped shouting and looked expectantly toward him, waiting for his words of wisdom to enlighten them.
No, of course not. They didn’t even take a breath. They kept arguing. So loud he feared his ears would start bleeding.
So he left.
He opened the door. Got out. Sucked in hot, sulfur tainted air. The heat hit him like a brick wall. One that had been baking in an oven for a week. He unlocked a sliver of his precious light energy and cocooned himself in a bubble of cool air. He shouldn’t be using magic on the Gem Witch’s territory. But what were they going to do? Send him to a worse place than the inside of his van?
While he was at it he lightened his weight enough to ease the pressure on his knees. His stomach growled pitifully. It complained about how long it had been since its last meal. He told it to shut up.
It kept growling.
He sighed and walked down the narrowing road until he came to a rock that looked like a good place to sit. He eased his ginormous posterior to it. Stared at the molten river down at the bottom of the canyon.
Maybe he should just jump in it.
But that wasn’t the way things worked here in the unseen world. A river of molten rock was more than just a river of lava. It was a metaphor and a highway all rolled into one. In different places in the unseen world, Phlegethon would be a river of boiling blood. Or a stream of damned souls, rolling in fire on their way to some bad place or another.
So jumping in wouldn’t be an end. It would be the beginning of yet another phase in the unseen world.
Only a few hours out of it, he missed the normal world so much it was an ache in his heart.
Or was that a heart attack?
No. Just homesickness.
He straightened up. It was like a smack to his greasepainted face.
Home.
The city was his home.
And the lords of the dark places were going to destroy it. Fill that beloved space with their evil and their filth.
He stood up.
No. Not on his watch.
They would have to go through him if they wanted the city.
Which they probably would. Like he was wet tissue paper.
But he had a van with a gem witch and a paladin in it.
And somewhere out there was Rachel. Who had a power of her own.
What had the Alexandrite Witch said? They could repair the walls between worlds once the pressure was relived. Which he took to mean that once the dark lord’s energy had been spent breaching the walls to the normal world, there would be an opportunity to evict them.
But not before they destroyed the city and either enslaved or killed all its residents.
But the Alexandrite Witch seemed to think there was a way to avoid that.
He turned back to the van. It rocked back and forth. The melee continued inside.
A single gem witch and a paladin wouldn’t be enough to stop the concentrated energies of a dozen dark lords.
It seemed doubtful someone from the Green Realm could do that, either.
So it wasn’t like he could ride to the bad places and confront the dark lords. All that would get him was murdered and sent to some even worse place.
Do what you do best.
What the heck was that?
What he did best was eat and entertain children at parties. How were either those going to help him save a city? What kind of defense could he muster with that?
Do what you do best.
Images popped into his mind. Himself at a children’s birthday party. Leaping, pirouetting…lighter than air. Sending visions of chocolate mountains and candy cane forests into their heads. Flying over this wondrous candy land. The children flying in formation behind him. Their joyous laughter filled him with energy. Energy he amplified and turned back to them. And they soared higher, through cotton candy clouds. Into crisp blue air. Hurtling out to the edge of space. A million stars twinkled above. The children circling around him. Orbiting him. Their joy filling him with light energy. Their Earth below them, a beautiful blue and white marble. So small he could hold it in his hand…
36
Sweating in the oppressive, sulfurous heat rising from the fiery river below, Hilario yanked the driver’s side door open. A wave of invective washed over him, threatening to puncture his ears. The Sapphire Witch and Odom the Paladin were shouting at each other at god-like volume.
The spicy scent of Sapphire mixed with the metallic tang of Odom to make an unsettling odor. Like a pumpkin pie baked full of iron nails.
Marco’s arm was still clenched in Odom’s massive hand. The detective sent a steady stream of profanity at both of them. Though
