“Contrary to your beliefs, everything can’t be fixed with money?”
“I fucking know that. I can’t bring my mother back to life. I would pay anything for that.”
“You are off-topic. Do you think Katrina is afraid of you?”
“Hell no.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just know.”
“Addiction can be transferred onto people. If you’re doing violent things around this woman I want to ensure that she is safe. Does she know about your addiction issues?”
“I mentioned it.”
“Jagger, I have to be brutally honest with you. None is this is healthy. I don’t know what you’ve told her but I’m sure she doesn’t know your story in its entirety. When you lie or withhold information from the people around you, you take away their ability to make smart decisions. Now I’m worried about this woman.”
“I didn’t do anything to her.”
“You’ve been lying to her this entire time. How is she going to cope with that?”
“I don’t know. I’m not a bloody therapist. I’m an entertainer.”
“And I’m sure she doesn’t understand just how dire your situation was just months ago. Does she know about the overdoses? Does she know you stopped breathing?”
“No, of course not. She doesn’t know any of the bad stuff.”
“She should know these things. She needs to have all the facts so she can make informed decisions that benefit her mental health and well-being.”
“What, how do I tell her all these sodding bad things?”
“I don’t know the answer to that. Only you know how you want to present the truth.”
“Can you just do it for me?”
“What do you mean?” He leaned forward in his chair.
“You can invite her over, like for dinner.”
“That’s a good idea. Have you thought about what happens if she declines? You can’t make her come into your world.”
“No, I can’t make her but she’ll come. She’s a very curious person.”
“Invite her to dinner and we can talk about this situation over food.”
The rest of the session was a blur. I had to get my girl over here without scaring the shit out of her.
Chapter 18
KATRINA
I woke up naked and alone, which could be the name of a reality TV show. Jagger was gone so I didn’t have to care about my bed hair or morning breath. I sat up in bed and stretched my arms out and above my head. There on the other pillow was a handwritten note. I reached for it. It looked like a poem. I was aware of the wide stupid smile on my face. I read it to myself.
You by Jag
A beauty when we met
A beauty as you slept
A beauty when you’re wet
A beauty drenched in sweat
A man was in a rut
A man has you to fuck
A man has so much luck
A man whose heart you took
I read it again. There was a heart drawn at the end of the poem. I loved it. Seriously loved it. I scanned my brain searching and searching. At my age, no man had ever written a poem for me. That made this gesture extra special. I couldn’t stay mad at him. Every moment with him was memorable and unique.
I finally could recognize what this relationship was. Every woman I was close friends with had experienced it. I was the only one that hadn’t felt it until now. I was whipped. The sex with Jagger so bomb I couldn’t let him go. I’d never been sexed so good and it was clouding my judgment.
I’d been with attractive sexy men before but they didn’t put it down in the bedroom like Mr. Adkins. This was what my friends used to talk about. This was the reason Tracy let a man that made more money than her stay in her house rent-free for two years. This was why Keisha let that jobless low-life with four baby mamas drive her Jaguar around. This is why Pam kept going back with that guy that gave her chlamydia three times. I was probably going to do some dumbass shit too.
I was happy that I could admit that I was dick-whipped. I was afraid of what that could mean. Jagger didn’t want anything financial. I didn’t have to worry about that. Maybe all he wanted was sex. That’s something I could freely give. I wanted the same from him.
I wanted to push all negative thoughts away. I had to just go on for a few months. Then I could leave this stuff behind me. I showered and dressed. I got a text from Nelson that we had a date tonight at Log Cabin restaurant. I didn’t have the heart to cancel.
I opened the store with Jagger. Something was refreshing about him being around all the time. He was strong, reliable, encouraging, supportive and I hadn't had those things in such a long time from an adult man. It was strange calling him an adult but he wasn’t a small-town guy. He had traveled the world and seen things. The drug addiction was the part that didn’t fit. He didn’t seem to have any addictions. Jag didn’t even smoke cigarettes. He didn’t even do that new vape pen crap. My brother was a pothead. He smelled of weed every day. I never smelled marijuana on Jagger.
Jagger called someone to come in and replace the glass. He apologized profusely. He went for coffee. He also returned all the checks I gave him for working at the store. He said he was working for free. I couldn’t argue with him. He clearly didn’t need money from me. He was being gracious, helpful and generous. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
After sweeping up the sidewalk outside he strolled back in the store. He had a bit of a light sheen across his brow. It was a sexy look for him. I had a perfect seat behind the counter to watch him walk and talk and be himself. Now I knew why he wore all those concert and musician t-shirts. He was one of them. Today he was wearing a Sex
