“Mmm,” Asa responded, eyes landing on Carmen without having to search the area, as if his body and mind already knew where she was.
And there she was. —Carmen West in all her ethereal glory.
Asa didn’t know when he’d stopped in his tracks, but there he stood, towards the leftmost centre of the cafeteria, consumed by the girl who reminded him of the full moon’s glow when she smiled.
Carmen was leaning back in her chair, her torso fully pressed against it that Asa’s heart skipped at the fear that she might topple it backwards. Her chin was tilted upwards as she listened to Lottie ramble on about something. One of her arms was wrapped around her own stomach, and the other was toying with that chain around her neck.
She was nodding every now and then, completely engrossed in whatever her friend was saying. Asa knew that was the most normal thing anyone would ever do but something about watching Carmen behave like she was just another ordinary being made his lips twitch and stretch across his face in a secretive manner.
Maybe his lips knew that there was a smile that should be reserved for Carmen and her alone.
Maybe his senses and his organs were already tuned into everything that was Carmen West and finding her was becoming as natural as breathing.
Asa didn’t know. God, Asa didn’t know, but all he was certain of was that his world was one thing before Carmen and something else entirely once he’d laid eyes on her midnight hair and thundercloud eyes.
Asa was seventeen years and eight months old, but today he realised his life would no longer be measured by the years but by lifetimes instead. He was lucky to say he lived two different lifetimes: the world before Carmen West and now the one with her.
There was a sharp jolt to his arm, snapping Asa out of his trance. He realised he’d been recently falling frequently under it. His eyes landed on an annoyed Isla who was shaking his arm rather violently.
“What are you doing?” he asked her in confusion.
She snorted, gaping at him incredulously. “Are you for real? I’ve been asking you that exact same thing this entire time. You’ve been standing here in the middle of nowhere like a madman!” She dropped his hand and threw her arms into the air. “What are you doing?”
His cheeks started to grow warm, and all he could was nothing but a shrug.
Isla raised her brows. “The heck is wrong with you?”
Asa was grinning because right then, he just realised he didn’t have detention anymore which meant another car ride with Carmen after school. Another early autumn evening of witnessing Carmen make herself at home in the passenger seat of his beat-up red truck—right next to him. Another day of driving himself back home from hers with the smell of her paint..
“Oh, my God.” Isla squeezed her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose and taking deep breaths as if to restrain herself from punching Asa’s face repeatedly. When she opened them back again, the anger there reminded Asa why the shade of blue in her eyes was called electric blue, and he wiped the grin off his face immediately, sobering up.
“I’m sorry,” he quickly said. “You must be hungry and I’ve kept you waiting. Let’s go.”
Just as he started walking in the direction they were originally headed to, Isla’s hand shot out and wrapped around his forearm, stopping him in his tracks.
He sighed. “Look, I really am sorry, you don’t need to have a go at me—”
“Do you want to sit at that table?” Isla asked, cutting Asa off as she looked at him with a seriousness he’d never seen her wear before.
“With our friends?” He pretended to misunderstand, referring to the table they usually sat at. “Yeah, sure. We sit there almost every day.”
It was Isla’s turn to sigh now. She shot him a deadpan look. “You know which table I’m talking about,” she told him in an accusatory tone. “Now, do you want to sit there or not?”
He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck as his eyes once again fell on Carmen, and slowly drifted towards Willa. “I know you don’t like it there, Isles.”
“Yes, but with the way you’re staring at that place just seconds ago like a wounded pup is making me consider it.”
He ignored her gibe. “I don’t know. What if they find it weird?” he asked, his free hand curling into a fist like it did whenever he felt lost like he did right now.
“You’re Asa San Román,” she reasoned. “They’d welcome you with open arms.”
Asa smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, because not even his best friend understood him.
Isla had called him Asa San Román and it was the same thing as if she had told him But you’re so hot, why should you ever feel self-conscious? Like that part of him was enough to make him feel accepted. But he was more than that, wasn’t he? Asa wanted to believe he was more.
“You should go.” She gave him a gentle push in the direction of where Carmen sat.
“You’re not coming?” he asked, voice tinged with slight panic.
“Asa.” She smiled knowingly. “Come on. You don’t need me. Plus, my presence there would only make the situation really bad. I can’t keep depending on Carmen to keep myself in check around that troll.”
“Her name is Willa.” Asa sighed. “And she’s not a troll. She’s a girl like you. Like Carmen.”
“Don’t defend her,” Isla snapped, eyes flashing. “She looks at me like I’m the gum under her shoe.”
“I’m not defending her, Isles,” Asa said patiently. “I’m just saying there’s always two sides to
