Yeah, because not even bothering to thank the ma’am is really the way to earn her love. I swear the breeders just worry about using their cocks and getting off their rocks rather than actually getting the women pregnant because there isn’t anything at all that’s happening that could make a woman fall in love with one of them. It’s just not going to happen.
I shut the door behind him and start to clean up. I’m not even dressed when there’s another knock at the door.
Seriously?
Again, it’s a breeder, and I don’t know why, but this time, when he’s taking me from behind, I start to cry. It’s not especially painful. I take that back. That thrust he hit my cervix. Ow! But it’s not that I don’t want this. I kind of do. I need to forget about Adir. There’s nothing between us. There can’t be. He’s a guard. He has a job to do, and so do I. Our jobs don’t intersect the way they had just yesterday. Was it just yesterday that we had been together? So sweet and tender…
But I've heard whispers about their overlord. Adir will get punished if anyone finds out what happens. I need to not let Adir get in trouble. Somehow, I have to forget about him. I must!
So I force myself to move my hips. It takes a few tries, but finally, I get the breeder's movements down. Maybe if I angle my hips just right and force him to be at the right spot…
But he’s already done.
He slips out of me, and I turn over.
“Can you keep going?” I ask.
“Keep going?” He blinks.
“I, ah… I didn’t…”
He winks. “Next time. You do want a next time, don’t you?”
My stomach churns. I don’t say anything as he dresses and leaves. At least he shut the door behind him.
I don’t clean up. I don’t get dressed. Instead, I curl up into a ball and let a few tears fall, but only a few. I don’t burst into tears. No, I can be stronger than that.
I will be stronger than that.
Quickly, I get washed up, scrubbing my body. I’m just reaching for a new dress, the last of my clean ones when there’s a knock at the door.
I heave a sigh. The last thing I want is for another breeder to be here. Is there anything I can say that will make it possible for me to turn him down without making it clear that I don’t want anything to do with any of them? No, of course not. I’m stuck.
Swallowing hard, I shove the dress on. It’s not form-fitting at all, but that doesn’t stop the breeders from finding us attractive.
I wipe a hand down my face. It has to be all red and blotchy, but I can’t do anything about it now. Maybe he’ll think I’m sick, and he’ll move on to the next woman.
A deep breath does nothing to calm me, and I open the door.
Adir stands there with a blank look on his face. No smile, no light in his eyes. Nothing. He just stares at me, and I stare back.
Then, my heart begins to pound. Should I invite him in? Why isn’t he saying anything? He shouldn’t come in, right?
But I want him to.
“Are you all right?” he asks.
And I come undone.
7
Adir
"Are you all right?" I ask gently. She looks so beautiful, even if she does look like she's been crying.
“I…”
“Did they hurt you?” I growl.
Her eyes are wide. “You’ve, ah, you’ve been watching?”
“I didn’t mean to. I just…” I shrug. “Are you all right?”
She looks like she’s ready to fall apart. She even sways a little. I reach for her, but she steps back.
“It’s a simple question. Yes. No. Which is it?” I try to make light of it all, but there’s an edginess to my voice that probably isn’t helping matters.
She jerks her head toward her room, and I follow her inside. When she walks around me to shut the door, my heart skips a beat. Had we shut the door when we had sex yesterday? I think we must've had. Maybe I did at one point, but I can't remember. Yesterday doesn't matter at the moment. Only right now, and she's clearly hurting. The question is, can I help her?
“I think I will be all right,” she finally says.
“So you aren’t right now.”
“I’m better now that I can use you as an excuse to not have to be with the others right now.”
“Did they hurt you?” I ask again, not wanting to hear the answer if it’s an affirmative but also not wanting the others to give her pleasure either. Everything is so ovian messed up.
“No. No.” The second denial sounds a bit firmer than the first. “I wouldn’t say that it was the most pleasurable, but…”
“You deserve to have all of the orgasms,” I murmur.
Her eyebrows lift, and she rolls her eyes. “Why?” she asks bluntly.
“Why? Why not?”
“Why me? Why not someone else?”
“Who says you and the others can’t all have orgasms?”
“And you provide them?” she asks coldly.
It feels as if she's thrown hot oil on me. Her words are like acid, and I swallow hard. Does she know what I did? How can she? Is she furious with me? Why invite me into her room then?
She already said why. She’s using me.
I swallow hard. “I…”
“I’m joking.” Callie heaves a sigh. “I’m sorry. I… I’m not good at making jokes. I can be too serious.”
"Sometimes, it's good to be serious."
“When?” she murmurs.
“When you’re talking about what you can and can’t handle.”
“Who says… Who says I can’t handle this?” She stares at me, blinking her huge dark eyes.
I swallow hard and do my best to stare into her eyes, to not look at her lips or anywhere else, but even her eyes are beautiful, twin dark pools that are going to drown me. She’s going to ruin me. I shouldn’t have knocked. Why did I?
Because I’m weak.
Because I’m drawn to her.
Because I
