He cups my face. “I want to.”
And he uses the blanket to clean himself up, balls it up, and leaves. Quickly, I clean myself up and get dressed. When he returns, he just hands me the blanket, beams at me, and walks away.
I shut the door and lean against it. I’m a bit sore, but it’s a good kind of soreness, not the painful kind.
Adir. I wonder if he’ll come by again.
He shouldn’t if we know what’s good for us.
But maybe we don’t. Maybe that’s all right.
But probably not.
5
Adir
It’s amazing how different I feel after fucking Callie. I feel like I’m lighter than air, and it was so very hard to give her the blanket and walk away, but Rek returned from his walk, and I couldn’t risk anything. Luckily, Callie seemed to have understood. At least, I hope she did. The last thing I want her to think is that I got what I wanted so I don’t need anything else from her.
Because while I did have her, I want to have her again.
I'm so ovian fucked. There's something drawing me to her that I hadn't felt with Shawnta. I can't explain it, but I feel as if something has been awakened inside of me. She woke a part of me when she touched my face, and my body hums from the contact.
Callie wouldn’t let me kiss her, though. Her full lips demand to be kissed. Did she let the others kiss her?
My fingers curl into such a tight fist that my knuckles are almost white. That’s never happened before. The need to hit my fist into something grows until I think I’m going to have no choice but to strike a wall, but I control my temper. I shake my head. Unreal. I can work away my anger, but I can’t work away my lust.
It's not too much longer before the bell rings, and I position myself near Callie's door. The other women open their doors and trickle out, but Callie's door doesn't open. For the most part, since I left her room, I've been watching her door. During the few times I looked away, had someone else slipped inside? Is she with someone else right now?
Once the hallway is cleared, I can’t help myself. I open her door.
Yes, I’m that ovian crazy. If a breeder is in here, I’m done.
But she’s alone, sitting up in her bed, yawning.
Her eyes widen as she spies me, and she jerks.
“The bell. It’s time to eat.” I gesture to the hallway.
Relief crosses over her features, and she beams at me. “Thank you.”
I move to the side, so she can pass. Before she can, I grab her arm and pull her back into her room. My gaze falls on her lips and then down lower, to her heaving boobs. She’s breathing fast, and she’s aroused. I can smell it.
But I don't. I don't kiss her. In fact, I don't do anything but release her.
She smiles shyly at me, and then she ducks out of the door. I hear her faint footsteps as she dashes away.
My cock is beginning to stir just from standing so close to her. I inhale deeply, and I can smell her arousal yet. Her room smells like sex—our sex.
With a shake of my head, I shut the door, and I head up and down the hall, pacing, trying to outrun my wayward thoughts. I can't do that again. I can't grab her like that. As much as I want to, I can't. I just can't.
I won’t. She’s too vulnerable. If I keep pushing… I don’t know what will happen, but she deserves better.
Rek heads my way. “You all right, Adir?”
“Why are you asking?” I can’t sound annoyed. As upset as I am that I’m going to have to let Callie go, I can’t be too upset. I had her, and I’ll never forget her. It’s for the best that it’s just the one time. I don’t want to make things too confusing for her and…
And Rek is staring at me, clearly waiting for a response.
“Say again?” I grumble.
Rek just shakes his head. “I asked if you wanted to come down and eat. You know the breeders join the females sometimes. We can go and make sure there’s nothing going on that shouldn’t be. You know, guard the females. Make sure that everything is consensual? Like we talked about before.”
“Yes, yes. Right. Sure. Let’s go.”
I let Rek lead the way even though I know where we’re going. Normally, the guards eat in shifts, at off times when no one else is eating. The eatery is normally a quiet place when I’m down there, but for now, it’s loud and boisterous, and I wince. It’s not the kind of scene Callie would like at all.
When we arrive, the breeders are just coming too. My gaze immediately finds Callie, and before I can stop myself, I cross over to her and grab her arm, just as I had before.
She jumps but doesn’t jerk away. “Adir,” she hisses.
“The breeders are coming. I thought you might…”
“Want to go to my room?” she asks me, her tone flat.
“Alone,” I assure her.
“Alone?” she repeats like she doesn’t believe me.
Solemnly, I nod. It's for the best that it ends already. I know that. I won't tempt myself by offering to walk her back to her room. She doesn't need me for that, and I don't trust myself.
“You’re just giving me a head’s up?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. Thank you. I, ah… I don’t usually have to worry. The breeders leave me alone down here. They like the women who are a bit… more social than I am.”
I grimace. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“I’m so shy it’s painful.” She bites her lower lip. “I am going to go.”
She reaches for her tray, but I wave her off.
“I’ll handle it.”
“Are you sure?”
I love the way her eyes light up when I offer to do something for her. It also frustrates me that no one else is paying her any
