11
Adir
Whenever I shut my eyes, all I see is Callie and a breeder or another one. I see her pregnant, carrying another Novan’s baby. I see her happy, smiling at someone else, and I swear I even hear her giggling at someone else’s joke.
She’s killing me. She doesn’t have any idea how much she means to me, and she’s killing me.
A bit of me is dying with every second that we’re apart, and I have to. I have to root her out of me before she destroys me, before I die.
Right or wrong, I slip away again.
Even though I know it’s wrong, I find a female who is willing.
I can’t. I can’t get hard, though. She’s fingering herself, moaning, while stroking me, trying to get my cock up, but I don’t want her. Just seeing her makes me so disgusted with myself that I think I’m going to be sick.
It’s just as well that I can’t get hard because there’s fierce banging on the door. There’s a pause and then more banging.
“This is your captain,” Stox spits out. “Open the ovian door!”
The door opens, and I stand naked in front of both captains.
Stox lets out a hiss. “What do you think you’re doing?” he demands.
Lara stiffens beside him.
I eye the captain with contempt. It’s because of him and the overlord that I can’t be with the one I want. “Why should you determine who can fuck and who can’t? Why can’t we all have a chance? We need more of the females to be pregnant, and clearly, the current breeders are failing, and—”
“Who are you to go against the overlord?”
I swallow hard.
“Do you even love one of the females?” Lara cuts in. “Because if you don’t, you’re not going to impregnate a woman either.”
I glower at her, and out of the corner of my eye, I eye Stox’s fingers curling into angry fists. Clearly, he does not appreciate the look I’m giving her at all. Yes, I’m certain the two have feelings for each other, and he’s being rather open about them, which only fuels my anger and hatred.
Hatred is such a strong word, but yes, I think I might hate him and the overlord and the commander and all of the Novans who have been able to find their females and impregnate and marry them. Only one breeder has been able to do what’s been asked of them. Why can’t the rest of us be given a fair chance?
Stox shoves me to the side and marches into the room. The female has had enough time to dress, and she eyes Stox curiously.
“What is going on?” she asks, her gaze darting from the male captain to the female one.
Lara crosses over and kneels beside the woman who is sitting on the edge of the bed. “Did you consent to sex with this man?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I? He’s hot. He’s decent in bed—”
“I am more than decent,” I grumble, but I have to wonder at her words. This is the first time we would have been together. Has she confused me with another Novan? I suppose that is possible.
The female laughs. “I’m just teasing.” She shrugs as she refocuses on Lara. “Is something wrong?”
“He’s not a breeder.”
“He’s not?” The female blinks a few times and then shrugs again. “Why isn’t he?”
I smirk and cross my arms, but I thought she knew I was a guard. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear enough to her. I never intended to trick her.
Stox huffs out an exasperated breath. “You cannot do as you wish. I distinctly recall you being told you are not a breeder!”
The female opens her mouth, but swiftly, Stox grabs my shoulder, applies pressure, and forces me out into the hallway. Lara stays inside, talking to the female.
“What the ovian, Adir! You can’t just fuck a female because you feel like it!”
I can’t help it. I enjoy angering him, and I just continue to smirk and puff out my chest.
He narrows his eyes. “Do you mean to say that you’ve fucked other females?”
“Yes, I have.” I lift my chin and try to stare down at him despite his being taller than I am. “I’ve been enjoying myself.”
"That's why you were running off instead of helping Lara." He looks ready to punch me. He's looked like that a lot lately. "You were assigned by the overlord to assist her!"
“I did help her,” I protest, even though he has the right of it more than I do.
“Not nearly enough,” he growls. “You’re a pathetic, worthless excuse of a guard.”
“I’m doing my part to impregnate women. Isn’t that most important?”
“Following orders is all you should be worried about,” he snaps. “You are a guard. You are to do as you are told and nothing else.”
“If you must know, I never intended to fuck so many. Shawnta, well, it’s next to impossible to tell her no.”
“So it’s her fault that you fucked her?”
“Yes,” I say, even if I had been a willing participant. “And then when I wanted to see her again, she wasn’t available, and I found someone else to fuck, a female named Callie.”
“Wait.” Lara just came out of the room, and she’s gaping at me. She holds up a finger and rushes down to a room, knocks, and then disappears inside.
Stox glances at me, but I ignore him, too busy scowling in the direction Lara ran off in.
Lara bursts out of the room and shuts the door before marching right up to Adir. She jabs his chest several times.
“You. You made Callie fall in love with you, but you’ve done nothing but break her heart!”
My heart both tightens and then lightens. As much as I had developed feelings for Callie, I hadn’t been certain she felt anything in return. If anything, I wanted to put some space between us so that she wouldn’t fall for me. Can she really like me? Love me even? Is it possible?
If it is, then I will fight for her. I don’t care what the captain
