I turned my gaze back out of the window and then saw the sign. Just a few metres ahead from where we had stopped, were some tall iron gates which were wide open and led into a long drive. The sign was beside them, and read ‘Greenside Cemetery’. I gasped as my gaze shot to Kyle in the passenger seat.
“You found them?” I asked hopefully. I had only asked him that morning. How could he have worked so fast?
“Well, I asked Kade and he found them, but yeah, they’re here, Princess, if you’re feeling ready?”
My heart pounded wildly in my chest, and my eyes brimmed with tears. I was overwhelmed with emotions, terrified I wasn’t ready to face the graves, happy to be able to be near my Mom and Dad in the only way I could be, and grateful to my amazing guys for always making whatever I needed possible for me. I knew how lucky I was to have them all. But most of all I was just desperate to get to my parents, and to let them know I was there, that I survived and that I loved them. They had never given up on me, and I needed them to know how sorry I was for giving up on them.
“I’m ready.” I said with a firm nod. I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds as I pushed back my tears. I needed to keep it together for as long as I could. I had a lot to say to my Mom and Dad when I got to them, and falling apart would have to wait.
“Come on then Cariña. Let’s go.” Matt opened the door and stepped down, then held out a hand to me, helping me out too. It was snowing lightly, adding to the few inches that already covered the city, and there was a harsh wind, blowing my hair wildly around my face.
Matt kept a firm hold on my hand and helped me to the back of the car, opening the trunk. Inside there was a huge bouquet of flowers, a mix of beautiful reds, pinks and oranges.
“When did you get these?” I asked. I looked to Matt, and found all four of them watching me.
“I ran out for them this morning. Are they ok? I’ve never bought flowers before?” Cole looked so nervous, in that cute way only he could, and I couldn’t help but smile as I hobbled forward and wrapped my arms as far around his waist as they would go.
“They’re perfect. Thank you.” He wrapped his arms around my back and held me too as he placed a kiss on the top of my head. I took a few seconds to just bask in the joy I found in his arms, in any of their arms, then stepped back, knowing they would all be cold, stood waiting for me.
“Here Love, wrap up. It’s freezing.” I turned to Kade, and smiled again when I saw him holding my hat, scarf and gloves in a neatly folded pile, just affirming my earlier thought that they always gave me everything I could possibly need, even before I knew I needed it.
“Thank you.” I took the pile and hurriedly pulled on the woolen set, grateful for the instant relief to my frozen hands.
The guys all pulled on beanies and gloves too, then Kade grabbed the flowers, and we headed in through the huge gates.
“I’ve never been to a cemetery before.” I told Kyle, who had his arm around my back, helping me to hobble down the path.
“That’s a good thing. Cemeteries mean loss. I’ve been in my fair share, and believe me, I really wish I hadn’t had to.” I looked up, and hated the sad look I found on his face. His eyes were once again filled with the pain I had seen there when I first met him, and far too many times since. I wished there was more I could do to take it away from him. I wanted to ask him about his loss, to make him talk to me, so I could find a way to help him, but I knew he wasn’t ready. Kyle wasn’t the kind of person you could push to open up. I needed to wait for him to come to me. I just hoped that one day he would.
“Yeah. I really wish I didn’t need to be here too.” I sighed. “I wish I could be going home to them, instead of coming to talk to a stone marker.”
“I’m so sorry, baby.” He squeezed me a little tighter to his side, and it helped a little to know I wasn’t alone in the devastating task ahead.
“Thank you for bringing me, and for coming with me. This, coming here…..it’s going to be hard, but having you guys by my side will help a lot.”
“We wouldn’t be anywhere else, Livy. You need us, we’re always going to be there.” Kade said from my other side. I reached out and took his hand, holding it tight as I looked between the four amazingly wonderful men who surrounded me.
“All I wanted when I got away from him was my Mom and Dad. They had been my whole world before I was taken, and I just needed to have them hold me. It was the only way I thought I could ever feel safe again after everything.” I admitted emotionally. “When Xander told me that….that they were g-gone, I thought that was it, that my life was over anyway, and I was so mad that I had even fought to survive at all.”
“Don’t talk like that Liv.” Kyle pleaded. I turned to him and smiled a little.
“It’s ok Kyle, because that feeling, that hopelessness, it started to lessen that first day at your house. That night, when we all had dinner and you all laughed at my stupid teasing over Keira’s cooking, in that moment I knew my life may
