I shook off all of my thoughts and turned back to Kade as he put his plate into the microwave. I couldn’t help but to sneak a glance at his ass. It looked really good in the form fitting jeans he wore. I had no idea when I had turned into such an ogling perv, but I guessed it was around the time the four most spectacular men I had ever seen, became mine.
“So,” I began, trying to move my thoughts to something a little more appropriate, “How was your day? Any leads on Hailey?” I asked hopefully. Just the mention of that poor little girl’s name had my stomach turning, as I thought of all that she had likely endured in the five days she had been missing. I wished more than anything there was something I could do to help find her, but there wasn’t. The police and Shepard security were both working the case, and they all knew everything I could possibly tell them about The Shadow. It really didn’t feel like enough, but it was all I could do.
“No, sorry Love. Nothing yet. Forensics swept the cabin, but the whole place had been cleaned down with bleach and we couldn’t get a single print. It had also been completely cleared out of everything, so there were no leads there, except maybe for….” Kade stopped, as though he hadn’t meant to tell me so much.
“Except for the body, Chris.” I finished for him.
“Yeah. The M.E is doing the autopsy first thing tomorrow, but I really don’t think it will help us much.” He sighed, and I saw just how bone tired he was; the weary look that crossed his face and the way he stood hunched slightly, as though he hadn’t the energy to stand properly.
“Do you have any idea who he was yet?” Kade looked up to me as soon as the question left my mouth, as if trying to decide if he dare tell me whatever the answer to that question was.
“Kade, you can tell me. I’m ok.” I assured him, and he nodded.
“I found a possible match on the missing person database. He was hiking with friends in Shawnee, back at the end of October and got separated from them. He never got back to the lodge they were all staying at.”
“Didn’t they search for him?” I asked with horror. That poor guy had just been out for a hike and had ended up in The Darkness with me. My heart broke at the thought of how he had ended up, likely all because he tried to save the both of us.
“They did. Search teams were sent out, but that area of forest is so vast and dense. No sign of him was found.”
“Do you have a p-picture?” I was terrified to see Chris’s face again, but also needed desperately to know if it was actually him.
“The M.E can identify him, Love. You don’t need to put yourself through it.”
“I do. I need to know.” I needed to know the name of the man who now lay dead, while I had escaped.
Kade pulled his cell from the inside pocket of his jacket, but stopped once he had unlocked the screen and looked at me with doubt and worry.
“Please Kade, just show me.” I pushed. I knew he was worried I would freak out, and I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t, but I needed to see the picture. In a way I hoped it would spark my memories, because I needed to know what happened the day I escaped. Maybe they were memories my brain thought I was better off without, but I hated all of the uncertainty. No matter how painful it may be, I needed the truth.
Finally Kade relented and handed me his cell with a deep sigh. I took a breath, then looked down at the picture on the screen. A smiling face looked back at me. Short blonde hair and deep green eyes, he was handsome, that was for sure, a definite pretty boy.
“We are getting out of here, Kiddo, I promise. I won’t leave you.” The image flew into my consciousness unbidden. Chris, the man in the picture, knelt on the floor before me. He was covered with filth and had a black eye, but it was definitely him. He was staring into my eyes, promising me with far more than his words that he would not leave me. I remembered my fear at that promise, my fear that the hope he was forcing me to feel would only prove to hurt me, just as all hope had in the past.
“It’s him.” I whispered to Kade, shaking off the memory. “H-how old was he?”
“Twenty-one. He was a psychology major at CSU.” My heart was pounding and nausea was rising. The thought of his life ended, probably violently, at just twenty-one, all in an attempt to free us from Hell was stomach turning. I had never hated The Shadow more than I did, in that moment at the realisation that he had cost poor Chris, and his family, everything.
And what had I done? Had I tried to help him? Had I done all I could to save his life, or had I just run like a coward? I couldn’t remember and no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't come to me. Was that why I refused to remember? Because I just stood back and let The Shadow kill Chris, then ran like a frightened mouse?
“Livy?” Kade was right before me now, and I hadn’t even realised he had moved.
“What was his full name?” I asked as I handed Kade back his cell, unable to see that happy, joy filled face once more, knowing it could be my fault he was gone.
“Christopher Wade.” He placed a hand on my shoulder as he spoke, his eyes trying to meet mine, but I wouldn’t let them. I looked to the floor to hide my glassy eyes and stepped back
