“How’s your break going Lee?” Ash asked me with interest.
“Good, just relaxing. All my friends have gone home.” And my lover, but I was going to keep that to myself. “How about you? I’m surprised you girls are staying in,” I stated. Ash and Jackie were notorious for going out and partying hard, it was no secret.
“Well usually, we would be out but my man just flew home to see his family and I’m kind of bummed so I thought I’d switch it up,” Ash explained.
“Aw, that sucks.” I empathized with her. I was sad that Axel was gone and missed him too. “Is it serious between you two?” I asked her.
“Well, we’re not official but feelings are there.” I knew exactly where she was coming from and it really sucked.
“When does he get back?” I asked, feeling for her.
“A few weeks. He always goes back during the holidays for a few weeks to see his family, it’s really far,” she explained to me. It made sense, Axel did too.
“Where’s he from?” I asked curious, making friendly conversation.
“Germany,” Ashley said dreamily. I felt my eyes widen and my heart beat faster. There were too many similarities; this couldn’t be a coincidence.
“What’s his name?” I asked, my voice shaky and my palms sweating.
“Are you okay Leah?” Jackie asked, concern all over her face but I ignored her, needing to hear the answer from Ashley.
“Axel. Axel Peters, he’s one hell of a hunk.” She giggled. I felt the blood drain from my face and my mouth drop as the room began to spin and I felt dizzy. Axel, my Axel, the guy I was falling in love with. Had fallen in love with, that Axel. I heard a ringing in my ears, unable to hear the words they were saying, as their lips both moved clearly talking to me.
“Leah!” Jackie repeated, holding my shoulders steady. “Leah are you okay?” she repeated. The room stopped spinning. I regained control of my body and nodded slightly.
“I thought you were going to pass out!” Ashley said with worry.
“So did I. What happened?” Jackie asked, concerned as well.
“I, um…” I started, not knowing quite how to continue. “I’ve been sleeping with Axel,” I blurted out, both Ashley and Jackie gasped in horror. I couldn’t look at them, I felt so ashamed and embarrassed like I was a joke.
“We’ve been seeing each other since right after Chris and I broke up. We were just having sex, no strings attached,” I told them, sneaking a quick glance up at them and their shocked expressions. “He never said we were exclusive and I never thought to ask!” I cried out, mortified. “I thought we were. I didn’t know.” I winced, feeling guilty about what I had done and bad for Ashley.
“Leah, when I said to get over Chris by getting under someone else, I hadn’t meant Axel!” Jackie joked, shaking her head at me. “He’s a huge player,” she continued. He was? That was news to me.
“I didn’t know!” I whimpered. I wished that someone would have warned me. I guess I should have known, he was so sexy, he could have had anyone and I guess he did.
“Everyone knows. He has a huge reputation,” Ashley added.
“I didn’t,” I told them honestly. They looked at me with pity in their eyes, I hated that.
“I guess you wouldn’t, you’re too young to know about him,” Jackie said, rubbing my arm soothingly.
“He was a few years older than me and he’d already had sex with half the girls on campus in his year and mine,” Ashley revealed, hiding nothing.
“He often slept with more than one girl in a day. He’s a complete womanizer,” Jackie continued.
Axel, my Axel? This didn’t sound anything like him, how could I have been so wrong? But as history had proven, I’d been very wrong in the past and I wasn’t the best judge of character. What was wrong with me and my horrible judgement of character? I felt blindsided by the news. What was worse was that I didn’t even have the right to feel betrayed, when it was me who insisted we keep things casual. I had been stupid enough not to specify that we were to be exclusive! I was such an idiot, had I learned nothing from my past?
“He had a few short lived girlfriends but he cheated on them all,” Jackie went on, making it all the worse.
“Until the summer. Since then, he’s been completely single and very upfront that it was just sex,” Ashley relayed. That made it somewhat better but not much. I couldn’t believe he’d been sleeping with other girls during the same time we were together. And Ashley! God, I was going to be sick.
“I’m such an idiot,” I croaked out of my constricted throat, trying not to weep tears of heartache.
“It’s not your fault Leah,” Jackie said, hugging me for the first time in years. I sank down into her embrace, truly needing it.
“He’s a huge player but he crossed the line this time; you’re just an innocent kid,” she said, angry. Usually her words would’ve stung but I was too busy mourning my heartbreak.
I hadn’t seen the arrangement blowing up in my face this way. I thought the worst case, we would end things because he didn’t feel the same but we’d try to stay friends, I had never imagined this.
“I’m so sorry Ash,” I said, tears filling my eyes, she’d been like an older sister to me and I felt like I’d betrayed her.
“Don’t be, he’s a horny ass hat. He’s probably been sleeping with many more girls behind our backs,” she said and patted me on the back. That still didn’t make me feel any better. I couldn’t get over it. We’d spent more than half the week together and talked constantly when we weren’t together. When did he have the time to mess around with other girls? At least with
