“Not feeling great,” I told them, getting up to leave. “I’m going to go to bed,” I finished, they both nodded knowingly and I went to my room where I cried myself to sleep.
Axel
MY TIME BACK HOME IN Munich was moving slowly, I still had one week left until I would be back home with Leah. I found it odd that, what used to be one of my favorite times of the year, I wasn’t able to enjoy and I just kept thinking about going home to Leah. God, I was completely in love with her. I didn’t even go to the clubs or any bars with my friends while I was back, it seemed like a waste, when all I wanted was Leah. I had to tell her how I really felt, I couldn’t keep doing this. I needed her to know I was hers and she was mine. Things between us had been going so amazingly, the only thing that could make it perfect would be making it official. The second I got off the plane I was going to tell her just how I felt.
“Axel my love,” my Mom said, sitting down on the couch beside me. “You’ve been so quiet lately, what’s troubling you my boy?” she asked, stroking my head soothingly like she would do when I was a child.
“Nothing, I’m fine.” I shrugged, feeling bad, I hadn’t been my energetic self while I was here.
“Axel, I know you and something’s wrong. Usually, I have to fight to keep you home and out of the bars the entire time you’re here and you haven’t gone out once. I’m happy to have you home but clearly something is going on.” She observed. There was no keeping things from Mom.
“I just don’t feel like it, Mom,” I told her. “I met someone back home and I don’t know, I just don’t feel like going out anymore,” I explained. She smiled wide, clearly happy with this information.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked, excited. I’d never introduced any girls to my parents.
“No,” I said glumly. “We’re not official but I really like her. I guess I’ve just been a little down because she’s not here and I miss her,” I divulged, feeling slightly embarrassed but it was nice to get it off my chest.
“That sounds serious. You should tell her how you feel,” Mom told me. She was right, I needed to.
“I will.” I nodded. “Mom, if things go right, I’m going to bring her here.” I smiled.
“I’d really like to meet this girl Axel, she sounds special,” she said and kissed my cheek.
“She is. I’m going to marry her one day,” I told her without thinking. But I didn’t regret saying those words, it felt right and if I had to spend the rest of my days with anyone, I wanted it to be spent with Leah.
2 weeks later…
THE WINTER BREAK CAME TO an end all too soon but my heartache hadn’t. I was still sad that I’d been wrong about Axel. He’d made me feel special, worth something, like I was important to him and made his day better but I was clearly dead wrong. Just like I had been with Chris. I wasn’t enough and never would be. Guys would always need someone else on the side.
The much needed distraction of classes had resumed. I was thankful Jenny and Anne were back to pick my mood up. I’d finally come clean and told them what they had already suspected, that Axel and I had been friends with benefits for the last few months. What surprised them was that he’d also been sleeping around with other people and hadn’t told me.
“Just another prick,” Anne spat with anger.
“He could have at least been honest with you,” Jenny chimed in, equally as upset as Anne.
“You just have to get back in the saddle Leah, there’s plenty of nice guys out there. You’ll find one,” Anne told me, patting me on the back.
“You will,” Jenny agreed. “As the saying goes, you just have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.” I wrinkled my nose in distaste; I didn’t want to go through that again.
“I’m just going to take a break. All these men have exhausted me,” I sighed. I didn’t believe in men anymore or love, it all led to heartbreak.
“Don’t give up. I actually have the perfect guy for you!” Jenny exclaimed. “I had thought things were going well with you and Axel, so I never mentioned this but there’s this super cute guy in my Macro class and he’s so into you!” she continued, surprising me, “He’s nice, smart, good-looking, and he’s actually a great guy,” she finished brightly.
“If he’s so great, why don’t you date him?” Anne questioned. I looked to Jenny, curious as well. She blushed bright pink, making me think there was something there.
“He made it clear many times he’s into you Leah,” she said, looking down. “And besides I don’t have time to date,” she lied, trying to justify herself. I worried a little that Jenny might actually like this guy.
“Well, I bet he ain’t a looker like Axel was,” Anne said, changing the topic.
“No, but no one is,” Jenny sighed dreamily. “But he’s very cute,” she defended. “Please, oh please, let me introduce you two,” Jenny begged. I wasn’t quite over Axel yet but I was lonely and
