He rubs his teeth over his lips and then sighs. “I won’t deny that I love you. Everything was supposed to be different tonight! Goddamn it, Sydney! I … I had let you in and now I find out this. I can’t do it all in one night. I can’t give you back what you want and wrap my mind around being a father.”
“I know that you love me, and you say you can’t be what I want you to be, but all I’ve ever wanted is you—the good, the bad, and the broken parts of you. But, Declan”—I step toward him, feeling naked and exposed as tears fall down my cheeks—“we are having a baby. One who needs to be loved with your whole heart, even if you can’t find the courage to do that for me.”
He gets to his feet, moving toward me, but I step back. Tears are his kryptonite in general, but my tears ... they destroy him.
“I don’t know what you want—or, I do, but there’s no way I can erase the past.”
I move toward him and settle my open palm over his racing heart. “I’m not asking you to, but you have to make a choice. Your past is muddy and filled with pain, but you have something in the future. A beautiful possibility and a woman who, despite everything, still loves you with her whole heart. In two days, I have an ultrasound appointment in Conyngham. I’ll text you the details. I hope you’ll be there to see our baby and choose the future.”
I lean up and press my lips to his as he stands ramrod straight. My hand is on the doorknob when his voice fills the space around us.
“You talk about letting go of the past, but you’re running too. You’re selling the farm and moving away even knowing that you’re pregnant. You kept this from me, and now what am I supposed to do?”
My fingers squeeze tight around the cool metal in my hand, and I draw in a fortifying breath. When I turn to look at him, I hold myself strong and say the only two words I can think of. “Chase me.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Declan
“Where the hell have you been?” Connor asks as I come to a stop in the doorway of the barn, debating if I can even walk back into the reception.
“Lost.”
“Lost?” His head tilts to the side as though I’m an idiot—and I am.
I’m a total fucking idiot.
I knew better than to ask her to dance. The minute I touched her skin, I was gone. It was hard enough to walk away from her after we danced at the concert, but tonight ... it was impossible. I have fought against going to her so many times, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Now, I’ve really gone and fucked it up.
“I was with Sydney.”
“I figured. We all knew it was coming.”
I look at my youngest brother and feel a thread of anger. “Did you know?”
“Know what?”
“Know about Sydney ...”
Connor’s brows furrow, and he looks at me from side to side. “Did you hit your head? You said you were lost, maybe you’re coming down with something?”
I step closer to him, my voice low and tense. “Tell me if you knew and you’ve been hiding it from me.”
Connor releases a heavy sigh and takes a step back. “As much as I love kicking your ass, today is my wedding day, and my wife probably won’t appreciate it. I don’t know what the hell is going on with you and Sydney, but she came running in here, kissed Ellie and me, said she was sorry but she wasn’t feeling well, and then she left. I came out here to see where you were because I figured you fucked up something, but I find you rambling and ready to rip someone’s head off. What the hell happened?”
It’s none of his business, and it’s clear he doesn’t know about the baby. I have no idea if Ellie, Devney, or anyone else does, but I can’t say the words right now.
She kept it from me for so long. Months of her planning to run away and, what? Pretend? Did she think I wouldn’t figure it out? The small bump she has now is only going to grow, and I still have a little over two months here.
“Nothing.”
Connor grabs my arm as I try to move around him. “No, Dec, I’m sorry, it’s not nothing. You have always been the adult, but I’m your brother, not your son. My wedding present from you can be the big fat check you wrote and also you telling me what has you both running away again.”
“I love her.”
“We all know this.”
“I love her, and I told her about Ellie’s parents.”
Connor grips the back of his neck and nods. “You told her everything?”
“After … we … tonight, she was relentless. She wouldn’t give up, and I just kind of snapped and told her.”
Connor sighs heavily and then shrugs. “I’m glad you did. Although, you probably should’ve done it differently. Since, I’m sure you weren’t tactful.”
“No, I wasn’t. But I don’t know if telling her was right.”
“It’s time that we stopped
