Above all, yoautrtitude should be playful, mischievous, hopeful.
Couch the question in a way that leaves no doubt in his mind that you are asking whraetallyturns him on.
Let him know thatanything goes, and the juicier the better. The goal is to get him to sing like a happy canary.
Make Your Quarry Feel Safe Sharing His
Deepest Desires
If you want your Quarry to spill the beans, you must make him feel safe giving you an honest answer to the question,
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"What turns you on?" Set the stage by letting him know that nothing would shock or turn you off. You will not be judgmental. You are a very open-minded woman and, in fact you enjoy far-out sex stories.
How do you do that? Just like an opening act warms up the audience for the main act, you must warm up your Quarry by telling him a story. Get him in the mood to share his own sexual stories by telling him one of yours—some sexual adventure that happened to you or one of your girlfriends.
If you are telling your own story, make sure you come across as innocent, yet sexually adventuresome.
Recount an adventure that lets him know you have a vivid sexual imagination but are
not promiscuous. Also, be careful that your story doesn't hurt his ego or make him jealous. Often it is better to share an exciting sexual experience that "a friend" told you about. Did one of your girlfriends ever go out with a man who was into a menage a trois or play a far-out fantasy with her boyfriend? If so, tell your Quarry about it with a jealous twinkle in your eye, as though you wish it had been you who was so fortunate to find such an imaginative lover.
If you don't have any personal experiences to share with your Quarry, let me tell you about a friend of mine named Alicia. I give you permission to borrow Alicia as "your friend" for the purposes of regaling your Quarry with your sexually adventuresome spirit.
Alicia said she had always fantasized about being
"raped." Not real rape, mind you, but fantasy rape, a very common female fantasy. Alicia was going out with a fellow named Jim who desperately wanted to go to bed with her. Jim hinted. Jim implored. Jim begged. But Alicia held out. Alicia was a woman of the world and, a trifle bored with her previous lovers, decided she wouldn't have sex with Jim unless she could do ither way .
One Thursday evening, after a movie date, Jim drove Alicia back to her secluded country home, which was miles out in the middle of nowhere. He walked Alicia to her front door and begged to come in. Once again, Alicia demurred. However, this time she said, "Jim, you can't come in now. Not tonight. Not tomorrow night." She saw the familiar disappointment on Jim's Page 278
face. "But," she said, pressing her door key into his hand, "any night after that—don't tell me when—I want you to. . . ."
Alicia then proceeded to tell Jim precisely what she wanted. He would drive up to her house in the wee hours of the morning. The door would be unlocked.
Alicia would be asleep. Jim was to enter her bedroom quietly and sneak past her bed into the bathroom. She told him he would find a condom in the cabinet. He was to take all his clothes off, put the condom on, then stealthily approach her bed.
Alicia wanted Jim to press his hand over her mouth and proceed to tear her nightgown off. She would resist as hard as she could. She would yell and scream, "No! No! Help! Rape!" Since she lived in the middle of the woods, no one would hear. Alicia would then run for the phone to call the police. But Jim would overpower her and "rape" her.
That's precisely what happened. Alicia said she'll never forget the vision of Jim silhouetted by the ray of light streaming from the bathroom door. Only one thing varied from Alicia's plan. Jim didn't "rape" her just once that night. He "raped" her twice. And they made love again as the sun came up.
The beauty of using a third-party story like Jim and Alicia's is twofold. You are not admitting to any wildness yourself that might come back to haunt you later in the relationship, and you are attributing the strange fantasy to the woman, not the man, thus protecting the secrets of other men you've been with.
Most important, you are also paving the way for your Quarry to tell his favorite story. In typical male fashion, he'll want to play "I can top that."
As you tell your Quarry this or your own sexual adventure, watch his reactions. He will probably look at you in a new light. He will say to himself, "Hey, this woman has an exciting imagination. She's open to adventure!" Not every man wants a sexually experienced woman, but practically every man wants a woman who is turned on by new sexual experiences, especially with him.
As you finish your adventure story, be prepared to handle various reactions. For instance, your Quarry may be wide-eyed and ask if you would like to be raped (or whatever happened
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to your heroine). "No, not exactly," you can laugh.
Then wink and ask, "Any other suggestions?" You have now paved the way for him to feel comfortable sharing his deepest sexual desires. You may come up with nothing, or you may unearth the key to his heart.
But now be prepared to hear some of the most common male fantasies coming from
