O, do not do your cousin such a wrong.
She cannot be so much without true judgment—
Having so swift and excellent a wit
As she is prized to have—as to refuse
So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.
He is the only man of Italy,
Always excepted my dear Claudio.
I pray you, be not angry with me, madam,
Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick,
For shape, for bearing, argument and valour,
Goes foremost in report through Italy.
His excellence did earn it, ere he had it.
When are you married, madam?
Why, every day, tomorrow. Come, go in:
I’ll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel
Which is the best to furnish me tomorrow.
She’s limed, I warrant you: we have caught her, madam.
If it prove so, then loving goes by haps:
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. Exeunt Hero and Ursula.
Coming forward. What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?
Stand I condemn’d for pride and scorn so much?
Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:
If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band;
For others say thou dost deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly. Exit.
Scene II
A room in Leonato’s house.
| Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, and Leonato. | |
| Don Pedro | I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon. |
| Claudio | I’ll bring you thither, my lord, if you’ll vouchsafe me. |
| Don Pedro | Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid’s bowstring, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks. |
| Benedick | Gallants, I am not as I have been. |
| Leonato | So say I: methinks you are sadder. |
| Claudio | I hope he be in love. |
| Don Pedro | Hang him, truant! there’s no true drop of blood in him, to be truly touched with love: if he be sad, he wants money. |
| Benedick | I have the toothache. |
| Don Pedro | Draw it. |
| Benedick | Hang it! |
| Claudio | You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards. |
| Don Pedro | What! sigh for the toothache? |
| Leonato | Where is but a humour or a worm. |
| Benedick | Well, everyone can master a grief but he that has it. |
| Claudio | Yet say I, he is in love. |
| Don Pedro | There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman tomorrow, or in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is. |
| Claudio | If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a’ brushes his hat o’ mornings; what should that bode? |
| Don Pedro | Hath any man seen him at the barber’s? |
| Claudio | No, but the barber’s man hath been seen with him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis balls. |
| Leonato | Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard. |
| Don Pedro | Nay, a’ rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that? |
| Claudio | That’s as much as to say, the sweet youth’s in love. |
| Don Pedro | The greatest note of it is his melancholy. |
| Claudio | And when was he wont to wash his face? |
| Don Pedro | Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him. |
| Claudio | Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string and now governed by stops. |
| Don Pedro | Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude, conclude he is in love. |
| Claudio | Nay, but I know who loves him. |
| Don Pedro | That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not. |
| Claudio | Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for him. |
| Don Pedro | She shall be buried with her face upwards. |
| Benedick | Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear. Exeunt Benedick and Leonato. |
| Don Pedro | For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. |
| Claudio | ’Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet. |
| Enter Don John. | |
| Don John | My lord and brother, God save you! |
| Don Pedro | Good den, brother. |
| Don John | If your leisure served, I would speak with you. |
| Don Pedro | In private? |
| Don John | If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for what I would speak of concerns him. |
| Don Pedro | What’s the matter? |
| Don John | To Claudio. Means your lordship to be married tomorrow? |
| Don Pedro | You know he does. |
| Don John | I know not that, when he knows what I know. |
| Claudio | If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it. |
| Don John | You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage;—surely suit ill spent and labour ill bestowed. |
| Don Pedro | Why, what’s the matter? |
| Don John | I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances shortened, for she has been too long a talking of, |
