Much Ado About Nothing

wind in that corner? Leonato By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it but that she loves him with an enraged affection; it is past the infinite of thought. Don Pedro Maybe she doth but counterfeit. Claudio Faith, like enough. Leonato O God, counterfeit! There was never counterfeit of passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it. Don Pedro Why, what effects of passion shows she? Claudio Bait the hook well; this fish will bite. Leonato What effects, my lord? She will sit you, You heard my daughter tell you how. Claudio She did, indeed. Don Pedro How, how, I pray you? You amaze me: I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection. Leonato I would have sworn it had, my lord; especially against Benedick. Benedick I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it: knavery cannot, sure, hide itself in such reverence. Claudio He hath ta’en the infection: hold it up. Don Pedro Hath she made her affection known to Benedick? Leonato No; and swears she never will: that’s her torment. Claudio ’Tis true, indeed; so your daughter says: “Shall I,” says she, “that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him that I love him?” Leonato This says she now when she is beginning to write to him; for she’ll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her smock till she have writ a sheet of paper: my daughter tells us all. Claudio Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest your daughter told us of. Leonato O, when she had writ it, and was reading it over, she found Benedick and Beatrice between the sheet? Claudio That. Leonato O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence; railed at herself, that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would flout her; “I measure him,” says she, “by my own spirit; for I should flout him, if he writ to me; yea, though I love him, I should.” Claudio Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses; “O sweet Benedick! God give me patience!” Leonato She doth indeed; my daughter says so: and the ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my daughter is sometimes afeard she will do a desperate outrage to herself: it is very true. Don Pedro It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she will not discover it. Claudio To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse. Don Pedro An he should, it were an alms to hang him. She’s an excellent sweet lady; and, out of all suspicion, she is virtuous. Claudio And she is exceeding wise. Don Pedro In everything but in loving Benedick. Leonato O, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and her guardian. Don Pedro I would she had bestowed this dotage on me: I would have daffed all other respects and made her half myself. I pray you, tell Benedick of it, and hear what a’ will say. Leonato Were it good, think you? Claudio Hero thinks surely she will die; for she says she will die, if he love her not, and she will die, ere she make her love known, and she will die, if he woo her, rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed crossness. Don Pedro She doth well: if she should make tender of her love, ’tis very possible he’ll scorn it; for the man, as you know all, hath a contemptible spirit. Claudio He is a very proper man. Don Pedro He hath indeed a good outward happiness. Claudio Before God! and, in my mind, very wise. Don Pedro He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit. Claudio And I take him to be valiant. Don Pedro As Hector, I assure you: and in the managing of quarrels you may say he is wise; for either he avoids them with great discretion, or undertakes them with a most Christian-like fear. Leonato If he do fear God, a’ must necessarily keep peace: if he break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling. Don Pedro And so will he do; for the man doth fear God, howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well, I am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick, and tell him of her love? Claudio Never tell him, my lord: let her wear it out with good counsel. Leonato Nay, that’s impossible: she may wear her heart out first. Don Pedro Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter: let it cool the while. I love Benedick well; and I could wish he would modestly examine himself, to see how much he is unworthy so good a lady. Leonato My lord, will you walk? dinner is ready. Claudio If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never trust my expectation. Don Pedro Let there be the same net spread for her; and that must your daughter and her gentlewoman carry. The sport will be, when they hold one an opinion of another’s dotage, and no such matter: that’s the scene that I would see, which will be merely a dumb-show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner. Exeunt Don Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato. Benedick Coming forward. This can be no trick: the conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady: it seems her affections have their full bent. Love me! why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to marry: I