The Merry Wives of Windsor

you say your name is? Simple Ay, for fault of a better. Mistress Quickly And Master Slender’s your master? Simple Ay, forsooth. Mistress Quickly Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife? Simple No, forsooth; he hath but a little whey face, with a little yellow beard⁠—a cane-coloured beard. Mistress Quickly A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Simple Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener. Mistress Quickly How say you?⁠—O! I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait? Simple Yes, indeed, does he. Mistress Quickly Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish⁠— Rugby Rugby calls from window. Out, alas! here comes my master. Mistress Quickly We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. Shuts Simple in the closet. He will not stay long. Calling. What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say! Enter Doctor Caius, she feigns not to see him. Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be not well that he comes not home. Sings. And down, down, adown-a, etc. Doctor Caius Suspicious. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet une boitine verde⁠—a box, a green-a box: testily do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. He busies himself with papers. Mistress Quickly Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you. Aside. I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. She goes to closet. Doctor Caius Wipes his forehead. Fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour⁠—la grande affaire. Mistress Quickly Returning with a green case. Is it this, sir? Doctor Caius Oui; mettez le au mon pocket: depechez, Quickly⁠—Vere is dat knave, Rugby? Mistress Quickly What, John Rugby? John! Rugby Comes forward. Here, sir. Doctor Caius You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rugby Opening the door. ’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. Doctor Caius Following swiftly. By my trot, I tarry too long stops⁠—Od’s me! Qu’ay j’oublie? Rushes to the closet. Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Mistress Quickly Aside. Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad! Doctor Caius Discovers Simple. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?⁠—Villainy! larron! Pulling Simple out. Rugby, my rapier! Mistress Quickly Good master, be content. Doctor Caius Verefore shall I be content-a? Mistress Quickly The young man is an honest man. Doctor Caius What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Mistress Quickly I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh. Doctor Caius Vell. Simple Ay, forsooth, to desire her to⁠— Mistress Quickly Peace, I pray you. Doctor Caius Peace-a your tongue!⁠—Speak-a your tale. Simple To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage. Mistress Quickly This is all, indeed, la! but I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and need not. Doctor Caius Sir Hugh send-a you?⁠—Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry you a little-a while. He sits at desk and writes. Mistress Quickly Draws Simple aside. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master⁠—I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself⁠— Simple ’Tis a great charge to come under one body’s hand. Mistress Quickly Are you avis’d o’ that? You shall find it a great charge; and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding⁠—to tell you in your ear⁠—I would have no words of it⁠—my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind, that’s neither here nor there. Doctor Caius Rising and folding letter. You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de Park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here: by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog. Exit Simple. Mistress Quickly Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Doctor Caius Turns upon her. It is no matter-a ver dat:⁠—do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jartiere to measure our weapon. By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. Mistress Quickly Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: he boxes her ears what, the good-jer! Rubbing her head. Doctor Caius Rugby, come to the court vit me. To Mistress Quickly. By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby. Exeunt Doctor Caius and Rugby. Mistress Quickly You shall have