But there was no way he could move to France. He knew that his marriage was in trouble and he had known all along that he would have to do something about that – either fix it or end it – but his whole life was in London, his children, his job, his friends. He couldn’t give all that up and she shouldn’t expect him to.
Perhaps if he pretended to toe the line a bit she might ease up on the whole idea, he thought. He could act like he was actually considering the idea, pretend to do a bit of research and then tell her that it just wasn’t possible but that he adored her and didn’t want her to go without him. And she might relent because she knew that he had done his best to try and make it work. Yes, that’s what he’d do. Reaching for his phone, he sent her a quick message.
Tell me again how you think the whole France thing could work for us.
Her reply came as he was waiting to get the bus home from the Tube station.
You’d start by applying for new jobs that offered remote working. Then once that was secured you could look for a nice two-bed flat to rent, near the girls, so you had a London base. We’d start work on the house and could move by autumn xxx
He was still humouring her but he typed out a quick reply.
OK, I’ll look into it.
Then he opened up his BBC app and turned to the sports headlines.
That weekend, he was in a bit of a funk. Claire was going to be away all of next week and he was already annoyed at the prospect of not seeing her. He was standing in the playground with Kate while the girls hurtled down the slide, sipping a coffee and stewing in his own bad mood when she said: ‘I’ve been thinking about the summer holidays. We haven’t booked anything yet. How about France?’
He almost spat out his coffee. Taking a minute to compose himself, he said: ‘I don’t fancy France, actually.’
‘Why not?’
‘Can’t guarantee the weather. Why not somewhere like Greece or Italy?’
‘Okay, I suppose,’ she said. ‘Shall I go ahead and look into it?’
‘Sure.’ It felt weird talking about booking a holiday with her. But trying to dissuade her from doing so would certainly arouse suspicion. Better to act normally, he thought. He had an image of them sitting by a poolside, sipping gin and tonics and watching the sun go down. Perhaps this could be a make-or-break holiday? The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. Maybe what they needed was some time away together, away from the everyday stress and strain of life and they’d either come back stronger than ever or he’d know for sure that their marriage was over. Either way, it put off the decision for a couple of months.
‘Tell you what, why don’t we have a look together tonight?’ he said.
Her eyes lit up. He normally left that kind of thing to her, telling her to just put the dates in their shared diary.
‘I’d like that,’ she said, smiling at him.
He felt a pang of guilt that she was so pleased by the prospect of them doing something together, even though it only involved staring at a computer screen. For the first time he considered the thought that it wasn’t just her who had stopped making an effort. ‘And do you know what?’ he said. ‘Let’s really push the boat out, book something amazing. I think we all need a good holiday.’
That night she cooked his favourite dinner, steak and chips, and they sat down together, scrolling through the endless holiday options before deciding on a five-star hotel in mainland Greece. Paying the deposit and booking the flights, she turned to him and grinned excitedly. ‘I can already feel the sunshine on my skin,’ she said. He grinned back. ‘I’m already there drinking a gin and tonic in the pool bar.’
‘I’ll order us a guidebook to Greece,’ she said, ‘so we can go on a few day trips. Teach the girls a bit of history that doesn’t involve a water park.’
‘Not too much history,’ he groaned.
She laughed – it was just like the old days when they used to go away together in their twenties. She was always looking for a museum or art gallery to visit while he just wanted to sit in a piazza somewhere soaking in the atmosphere and drinking a cold beer. ‘You don’t need to stare at a piece of art to understand the culture of a place,’ he would tell her. ‘You just need to sit in the right place, with a local tipple in hand, and watch the world go by.’
That night when they went to bed, he’d thought she was asleep so when she spoke, it startled him. ‘I know things have been a bit tough lately, Pete. But maybe this holiday is just what we need.’
She reached for his hand and he squeezed hers back. ‘Maybe it is,’ he replied.
The conversation seemed to break a barrier between them in the days that followed. They were a little bit kinder to each other, more considerate. With Claire being away and no client engagements that week he had no reason to stay out late and so he was home in time for the girls’ bedtime every night. For the first time in a long time they did the routine together, smiling as Lily and Maggie giggled and splashed each other in the bath. He felt a little better about himself then.
If he was being honest a part of him was still annoyed with Claire for pursuing this whole
