The Inspector General

epub:type="z3998:persona">Bobchinsky And I think a general isn’t worth the sole of his boots. But if he is a general, then he must be the generalissimo himself. Did you hear how he bullies the Imperial Council? Come, let’s hurry off to Ammos Fiodorovich and Korobkin and tell them about it. Goodbye, Anna Andreyevna. Dobchinsky Good afternoon, godmother. Both go out. Artemy It makes your heart sink and you don’t know why. We haven’t even our uniforms on. Suppose after he wakes up from his nap he goes and sends a report about us to St. Petersburg. He goes out sunk in thought, with the School Inspector, both saying, Goodbye, madam.

Scene VIII

Anna Andreyevna and Marya Antonovna.

Anna	Oh, how charming he is!
Marya	A perfect dear!
Anna	Such refined manners. You can recognize the big city article at once. How he carries himself, and all that sort of thing! Exquisite! I’m just crazy for young men like him. I am in ecstasies⁠—beside myself. He liked me very much though. I noticed he kept looking at me all the time.
Marya	Oh, mamma, he looked at me.
Anna	No more nonsense please. It’s out of place now.
Marya	But really, mamma, he did look at me.
Anna	There you go! For God’s sake, don’t argue. You mustn’t. That’s enough. What would he be looking at you for? Please tell me, why would he be looking at you?
Marya	It’s true, mamma. He kept looking at me. He looked at me when he began to speak about literature and he looked at me afterwards, when he told about how he played whist with the ambassadors.
Anna	Well, maybe he looked at you once or twice and might have said to himself, “Oh, well, I’ll give her a look.”

Scene IX

The same and the Governor.

Governor	Sh-sh!
Anna	What is it?
Governor	I wish I hadn’t given him so much to drink. Suppose even half of what he said is true? Sunk in thought. How can it not be true? A man in his cups is always on the surface. What’s in his heart is on his tongue. Of course he fibbed a little. No talking is possible without some lying. He plays cards with the ministers and he visits the Court. Upon my word the more you think the less you know what’s going on in your head. I’m as dizzy as if I were standing in a belfry, or if I were going to be hanged, the devil take it!
Anna	And I didn’t feel the least bit afraid. I simply saw a high-toned, cultured man of the world, and his rank and titles didn’t make me feel a bit queer.
Governor	Oh, well, you women. To say women and enough’s said. Everything is froth and bubble to you. All of a sudden you blab out words that don’t make the least sense. The worst you’d get would be a flogging; but it means ruination to the husband.⁠—Say, my dear, you are as familiar with him as if he were another Bobchinsky.
Anna	Leave that to us. Don’t bother about that. Glancing at Marya. We know a thing or two in that line.
Governor	To himself. Oh, what’s the good of talking to you! Confound it all! I can’t get over my fright yet. Opens the door and calls. Mishka, tell the sergeants, Svistunov and Derzhimorda, to come here. They are near the gate. After a pause of silence. The world has turned into a queer place. If at least the people were visible so you could see them; but they are such a skinny, thin race. How in the world could you tell what he is? After all you can tell a military man; but when he wears a frock-coat, it’s like a fly with clipped wings. He kept it up a long time in the inn, got off a lot of allegories and ambiguities so that you couldn’t make out head or tail. Now he’s shown himself up at last.⁠—Spouted even more than necessary. It’s evident that he’s a young man.

Scene X

The same and Osip. All rush to meet Osip, beckoning to him.

Anna	Come here, my good man.
Governor	Hush! Tell me, tell me, is he asleep?
Osip	No, not yet. He’s stretching himself a little.
Anna	What’s your name?
Osip	Osip, madam.
Governor	To his wife and daughter. That’ll do, that’ll do. To Osip. Well, friend, did they give you a good meal?
Osip	Yes, sir, very good. Thank you kindly.
Anna	Your master has lots of counts and princes visiting him, hasn’t he?
Osip	Aside. What shall I say? Seeing as they’ve given me such good feed now, I s’pose they’ll do even better later. Aloud. Yes, counts do visit him.
Marya	Osip, darling, isn’t your master just grand?
Anna	Osip, please tell me, how is he⁠—
Governor	Do stop now. You just interfere with your silly talk. Well, friend, how⁠—
Anna	What is your master’s rank?
Osip	The usual rank.
Governor	For God’s sake, your stupid questions keep a person from getting down to business. Tell me, friend, what sort of a man is your master? Is he strict? Does he rag and bully a fellow⁠—you know what I mean⁠—does he or doesn’t he?
Osip	Yes, he likes things to be just so. He insists on things being just so.
Governor	I like your face. You must be a fine man, friend. What⁠—?
Anna	Listen, Osip, does your master wear uniform in St. Petersburg?
Governor	Enough of your tattle now, really. This is a serious matter, a matter of life and death. To Osip. Yes, friend, I like you very much. It’s rather chilly now and when a man’s travelling an extra glass of tea or so is rather welcome. So here’s a couple of rubles for some tea.
Osip	Taking the money. Thank you, much obliged to you, sir. God grant you health and long life. You’ve helped a poor man.
Governor	That’s all right. I’m glad to do it. Now, friend⁠—
Anna	Listen, Osip, what kind