letting him all but slip out of her body, only to embrace him again with her tight muscles. Skillfully she brought them both to the pinnacle of pleasure at the same moment, letting Al know the beauty of having his own sobs of ecstasy mingle with those of another.
The weekend passed in a sea of sensation and bliss. Bits and pieces of never before suspected sensuality floated to his awareness, so that the wonderful weekend formed a collage of flesh and happiness in his mind.
Afterwards, Al remembered most clearly the moment when Cira had kissed his ear, and whispered, 'You must concentrate first on giving great pleasure to the one you are with. Your own pleasure should not be thought of for a long time. It will come, then, from the happiness you give to the other person. Let me show you.' Cira began a leisurely attack with her lips on his body, making every inch of him come alive in a new way. He felt sensations he had never known before flow through him. He groaned with the subtlest, most tremendous pleasure he had ever felt. She was like a graceful bird, darting over his body and sweetening it with honey wherever she touched. By the time she pulled away from him, Allen was shaking with happiness and gratitude.
'Now do the same things to me. Relax and let yourself come to me completely. Don't be afraid.' Cira eased her back against the mattress. Her body appeared younger and fresher than her experience-hardened face. She saw his hesitancy and understood it. 'It's okay, baby. It's right. You must earn your pleasure. It's best that way.' She pulled the man in her arms with a maternal gentleness. Her kiss was very, very sweet.
Allen moaned in her arms. He was ready again, but he fought against the immediate desire to bury himself in her. She was so warm and understanding. She had-given him so much… He began to kiss her awkwardly, trailing his lips over her smooth shoulders and over her firm breasts. Her hand on his head was tactfully urging, suggesting rather than commanding his mouth to explore further. He kissed the bare midriff, the slim waist, the wider hips. Her belly was so tender, so warm that he gladly took little mouthfuls of the flesh between his teeth and bit down carefully. He kissed the backs of her arched knees with a loving gratitude, and managed to draw his lips slowly down her legs until they caressed her sharp ankles. Somewhere inside of him, still buried under layers of pleasure and surcease from pain, a voice tried to remind him that this wasn't right – that a man, a real man didn't do things like this… He wanted to deny this kind woman nothing, nothing at all. Yet Allen felt himself stopped, locked in hesitancy by a terrible, binding fright. He knew this had to be wrong! He couldn't do this thing she asked of him. Not even now when he was able to admit he wanted it almost as much as she.
'Allen, darling, let yourself go.' Cira's sweet voice was coaxing. 'Whatever is done between two people for their own pleasure is right, so very right. Make me happy. Make us happy…'
A verbal expression of masculinity meant nothing! Not if it meant sacrificing everything in order to convince himself that he was manly in all ways, at all times. Just then he heard Cira's voice. It cut his thoughts and made him begin to dissolve his prejudiced guides on exactly what constitutes masculinity. He found his eager mouth moving closer to the junction of her legs, his brain suddenly intoxicated by an aroma that burned deliciously in his nostrils. His stiff penis throbbed faster as he closed in on the source of this unusual fragrance.
Still filled with doubts and fears, Allen pressed his tightly closed lips to the coral-colored, puckered lips of her vagina. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs – and his brain – with that tantalizing fragrance. Suddenly, his dry lips were coated with moisture. He pulled away with alarm, automatically cleaning his lips with his tongue… then finding the taste was not what he expected! Rather than being repulsed, he was aroused. The tempo of his throbbing male-muscle increased, demanding more of this sweet tasting nectar… and Allen dove back to the source, his mouth opened wide and his tongue forcing its way into the well of her.
A smile of happiness and joy crossed Cira's face as she felt his sudden acceptance of her. She repeated what she had just said more slowly. 'A man… is tenderness… gentleness… strength…'
Later, when Allen was over her body again, his lips crushing hers with the most adult-like passion he had ever known, he knew that he was more than repaying Cira for her lessons. He was, despite his still thin and boyish body, being reborn, this time as a man… a real man.
With tenderness… gentleness… strength…
CHAPTER TWELVE
The past three days had been a blur to Karen. They aimlessly roamed the city, while Pat expounded at great length on the beauty of the world and creation. On the second day Pat had decided to change the rhythm. Walking, she decided, was too slow. So, at Pat's insistence, they had begun hitching rides with strange men. Many of the men were only too willing to take them on wild rides over the country. Everything they saw delighted and impressed Pat. Especially the hill near the freeway which sported a huge white cross. She had been immediately attracted to it. She had told the man who drove them to it, a middle-aged businessman who drove a big new car, that she always wanted to make love under a cross. The man, plainly excited by the beauty of the two girls, had responded by suggesting boldly that it might be arranged. Karen flinched as she remembered what had taken place after that. Pat had hustled her out of the car, told her that business might be combined with pleasure, and wore the girl down until Karen agreed to stand guard by the car while Pat fulfilled her dream under the cross for twenty dollars! Later, driving back to town, Pat had reverted to her initial excitement over the scenery they passed.
Karen listened to the shower rain down over Pat's body in the next room. She hardly cared what happened to them anymore. She did not know how she could sink any lower. She wondered listlessly what it was that kept her with Pat. The sexual part of their life was still good, but only when they made love in private, when it was more like love and less like kicks. That was becoming less and less common. Pat seemed to live for naked, blunt sensation. Karen wondered where all that sensitivity was that she had immediately seen in Pat. She wanted to laugh, but couldn't. She stayed because there was nowhere else to go, she stayed because there was nothing else for her anywhere, she stayed because she didn't know what it was she wanted and could see no point in further unsuccessful attempts to find out in still another woman's arms.
The phone rang harshly. Karen lifted the receiver reluctantly, wondering if it was one of the woman they knew organizing still another mass orgy.
'Hello?'
Karen recognized the hesitant voice instantly. She felt a lump grow in her throat. 'Al!' He had never called before, had never made any attempt to contact her…
'Karen! Look – uh – how are you?' Allen could see into the bedroom from where he sat by the phone. He had sat dumbly staring into the room for an hour before he mustered the courage to call.
'I'm fine, Al. How are you?' She could picture his face clearly. She tried to hide her excitement. She hoped Pat would be in the shower as long as she usually was.
'I'm okay.' He waited. The silence rebuked him. He took a deep breath and plunged into what he called to say. 'Karen. I could go on for an hour I guess, with a lot of trivia. But I braced myself to make this call and I've got to say what I intended to, or I never will.'
Karen was amazed at the firm gentleness of his tone. He sounded more… mature, more thoughtful. 'All right, Al.'
'Karen, first, let me tell you that I don't blame you for… what happened. I know now that I was so damn busy with me I forgot about us. I'll never stop being sorry about that. You were right. I was insensitive. I didn't try to see what it was like for you.' Al paused to take a puff of the cigarette he had nervously lighted while he spoke.
'Oh, Al, don't…' Karen didn't want him to continue. His words were a hot blade piercing her heart.
'No, Karen, please, let me finish. You don't have to say anything. Just let me finish. I love you… I always did and I always will. I know that now. I want you back. Even the few minutes at a time I used to spend with you I did grudgingly. I was so busy… Well, that's done. I can't do it over again.' He stubbed out the cigarette, his face twisted with the desire to find some way to tell Karen what he had learned and how much he wanted her. 'I miss you, honey. Come back. I need you. The work, the school… they don't mean anything now. I'll beg, if you want me to.'
'Don't!' Karen cried. Her emotions threatened to tear her apart. This was her Al, her Al, just the way he always should have been. And now it was too late! 'Don't blame yourself! Please! I walked out…'
'What else could you do? You tried to tell me…'
