me from head to foot with the kind of expression which makes one
uncertain where to look or what to do, 'I must say that you seem to
value my love very highly, and afford me great consolation.' Then she
went on, with an emphasis on each word, 'Monsieur St. Jerome, who, at my
request, undertook your education, says that he can no longer remain
in the house. And why? Simply because of you.' Another pause ensued.
Presently she continued in a tone which clearly showed that her speech
had been prepared beforehand, 'I had hoped that you would be grateful
for all his care, and for all the trouble that he has taken with you,
that you would have appreciated his services; but you--you baby, you
silly boy!--you actually dare to raise your hand against him! Very
well, very good. I am beginning to think that you cannot understand kind
treatment, but require to be treated in a very different and humiliating
fashion. Go now directly and beg his pardon,' she added in a stern and
peremptory tone as she pointed to St. Jerome, 'Do you hear me?'
I followed the direction of her finger with my eye, but on that member
alighting upon St. Jerome's coat, I turned my head away, and once more
felt my heart beating violently as I remained where I was.
'What? Did you not hear me when I told you what to do?'
I was trembling all over, but I would not stir.
'Koko,' went on my grandmother, probably divining my inward sufferings,
'Koko,' she repeated in a voice tender rather than harsh, 'is this you?'
'Grandmamma, I cannot beg his pardon for--' and I stopped suddenly, for
I felt the next word refuse to come for the tears that were choking me.
'But I ordered you, I begged of you, to do so. What is the matter with
you?'
'I-I-I will not--I cannot!' I gasped, and the tears, long pent up and
accumulated in my breast, burst forth like a stream which breaks its
dikes and goes flowing madly over the country.
'C'est ainsi que vous obeissez a votre seconde mere, c'est ainsi que
vous reconnaissez ses bontes!' remarked St. Jerome quietly, 'A genoux!'
'Good God! If SHE had seen this!' exclaimed Grandmamma, turning from me
and wiping away her tears. 'If she had seen this! It may be all for
the best, yet she could never have survived such grief--never!' and
Grandmamma wept more and more. I too wept, but it never occurred to me
to ask for pardon.
'Tranquillisez-vous au nom du ciel, Madame la Comtesse,' said St.
Jerome, but Grandmamma heard him not. She covered her face with her
hands, and her sobs soon passed to hiccups and hysteria. Mimi and Gasha
came running in with frightened faces, salts and spirits were applied,
and the whole house was soon in a ferment.
'You may feel pleased at your work,' said St. Jerome to me as he led me
from the room.
'Good God! What have I done?' I thought to myself. 'What a terribly bad
boy I am!'
As soon as St. Jerome, bidding me go into his room, had returned to
Grandmamma, I, all unconscious of what I was doing, ran down the grand
staircase leading to the front door. Whether I intended to drown myself,
or whether merely to run away from home, I do not remember. I only know
that I went blindly on, my face covered with my hands that I might see
nothing.
'Where are you going to?' asked a well-known voice. 'I want you, my
boy.'
I would have passed on, but Papa caught hold of me, and said sternly:
'Come here, you impudent rascal. How could you dare to do such a thing
as to touch the portfolio in my study?' he went on as he dragged me into
his room. 'Oh! you are silent, eh?' and he pulled my ear.
'Yes, I WAS naughty,' I said. 'I don't know myself what came over me
then.'
'So you don't know what came over you--you don't know, you don't know?'
he repeated as he pulled my ear harder and harder. 'Will you go and put
your nose where you ought not to again--will you, will you?'
Although my ear was in
